So i usually just read other peoples posts on here and comment where i can but this time its me lol. Im in a bit of a situation and id love some advise.
So myself and DP broke up just before summer 2021 our DS was nearly 2 at the time. We completely moved on from each-other and seeing other people. I got to know this guy (who i used to know when we were teenagers, he really liked me when we were 15 lol but i was too young to know anything so he slipped away back then), we got really close and he briefly lived abroad at the time we were talking so i visited him twice, second time i stayed with him for a week in his house, we were like a married couple lol and it was so strange having this guy back in my life after knowing him when we were teenagers. He'd say to me hes liked me since i was 15 🤣 (im 26) anyway we spoke up until december 2021 and our conversations started getting slower with less frequent responses, at this time I started getting back into contact with my baby daddy and one thing led to another (even though i swore to never get back with him ever again). I guess from the slow responses the other guy deleted me. After 2 weeks he called me but i didnt answer the phone.
So its been a year and a half since iv gotten back together with my partner but theres been rough patches and even though i was super sure about getting back to him, suddenly my feelings have turned cloudy for him. It doesnt help that all i do is think about the other guy, i dream and day dream about him more and more frequently. I feel like its because i didnt get closure and that it ended to abruptly. I want to be a family so bad as i love my son to bits but i cant get these thoughts away. I know if i saw the other guy one day my heart would sink into my chest. I feel like hes slipped away twice in my life now. Idk why i miss him so much.
Is it better to stick to my partner and ride out these feelings? Im just super confused, obviously i cant control what i dream about but its become a daily thing. Im probably just being so stupid but for some reason i cannot help any of this.