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Is this abuse or is this my fault

2 replies

laylasayla · 09/07/2023 23:04

At the start of this year, it came to light that my husband had a serious opioid addiction. I moved out with DC until he agreed to get help. He has been taking medication through drug recovery to wean him off this although hasn’t engaged in any meetings/counselling and there have been times I’ve suspected he’s still using something however he has denied and has seemed to be doing better and I have tried hard to support him.

Last night we had a disagreement and I locked him out of the house as he was becoming verbally aggressive. He returned furious (let him in as I’d calmed down) and knocked me off my feet by barging in to me to go to the bathroom as he was apparently desperate. I ran after him as was furious at being thrown to the ground only to be shoved to the ground again causing bruising and a large cut. In my shock I reacted by lashing out to hit him but from the floor didn’t really reach him and barely touched his face.

Did I cause this? He blames me for locking him out and getting in his way and not giving him space. Says any injuries are my own doing and any narrative I’m creating to the contrary is me being a narcissist or someone with a mental health disorder. Also he feels vindicated as I retaliated. Did I cause this? Is this abuse or is this my fault? He is known to have a fiery temper and over the past few months it is increasingly aimed at me usually when I disagree with something he has done (usually parenting related). He refuses to discuss/take accountability and shouts at me to get away from him as he is disgusted with me etc etc.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 09/07/2023 23:06

I think you know none of this is your fault and that it’s abuse. Get medical attention for your injuries, be honest about how you got them and call the police. He’s dangerous and you’re not safe.

laylasayla · 09/07/2023 23:09

I felt really certain and was indignant and horrified at what happened. I think I expected remorse from him but he is adamant I've caused it and it's making me doubt myself. Thank you, it's good to hear I'm not going crazy

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