Dh's best friend is getting married abroad and wants us all to go - oh dear

[Moomin]

It's in the south of france where they have a holiday home in a village. The wedding sounds fab and very French but lots of celebrating. They have 2 kids and have invited us all with our 2 dds. Dh has been asked to be a witness and wouldn't miss it for the world. But I'm just worried about the cost. They have arranged for us to share a big house in the village for the 2 or 3 nights around the wedding which is lovely of them, but we still need to find flights and car hire.

And if this is going to be our holiday (because we won't be able to afford anywhere else if we go to this) we'd need to stay a bit longer and then costs will go up again for accommodation. I'm trying not to be a wet blanket about it as dh is sooo excited but all I can see is a lot of cost and hassle travelling with 2 dds. We don't tend to spend a huge amount on holidays as we usually stay in GB and this would take our budget for a normal 7-10 day holiday and only be for 3 days. What to do?

Whereabouts in the South of France?

THanks for replies.

hmmmmmmm. Dh and I had a bit of a falling out about it last night as I 'came clean' and told him how I was feeling about it. He said I was being overly negative about the whole situation and he was sure we'd be able to sort something, esp when the groom gets in touch with more travel and accomm details. I'm still not that hopeful though. Dh asked me to think about what circumstances would make it a better viability for us all to go.

I think:
Accommodation on our own
Other cheap accomm (maybe also in the village) that we could use for another few days to make it a week or so's worth
That's also providing the village is suitable for the kind of family holiday I like...

I know it's bad of me but I also think the bride and groom are being very 'pie in the sky' about it, which is what they're like generally really. That's not meant as a criticism, but they are very much go-with-the-flow, not very organised, etc. And they've already said that they don't expect everyone they've invited to be able to come. But dh will go anyway, with or without us.

and we can't really ask the inlaws to have the dds, as we've already arranged a 3-dayer in June for us to go away for my 40th, so to ask again so soon would be a bit much I think. I can't get over the hurdle of travelling in heat: on planes, trains or automobiles, whatever, with a 6 and a 2 year old for what would be just 3 or 4 days, then all the way back again...

Dh did say that it's not yet certain that we'd have to share with other families (but quite likely) and he doesn't feel comfortable asking them if we can be a 'special case' and have a house or whatever to ourselves, as it will cause them extra hassle.

Not even sure whereabouts it is - all I know is that it's 2hrs 30m from Marseilles.

Imo see if you can find a holiday that you would want to go on, whether the wedding was a part of it or not. If you mention roughly the region perhaps us MNers might find something affordable?

Otherwise, just dh (and you, if childcare possible) attend. Not worth the stress or the financial woe.

Sorry see you don't know where it is!

It sounds as if you really don't want to go, so don't.

Where is it?

Throughout France there are places that offer self-catering accommodation (known as 'gites' which are often very good value.

Do you speak French? I've found much cheaper deals searching in French rather than English.

Yes I agree about pie in the sky and selfish, really too.

These weddings abroad sound all very lovely and romantic but if you are expecting people to come I think you need to be rolling in money - as in, it is no object - so that you can heavily subsidise people's costs, especially if they aren't similarly wealthy..

Don't really get the concept of "getting away from it all" to get wed.. and then wanting everyone to come over! Why not just get married closer to home, seeing as the choices are so diverse these days!

Sorry to be no help. Can't put myself in the situation as everyone would KNOW we couldn't afford to do it.. not that they'd invite us anyway with our DS!

Sorry, x-post. Do you even know the name of the village?

2h 30 from Marseille is an odd one, as in every direction you could go there is another airport closer!!

Cant your DH just go and then you all just have your normal GB holiday?

Have a look at some websites like www.holiday-rentals.co.uk where you book direct with the owners of cottages/gites/apartments.

You might find somewhere thats surprisingly affordable if you're happy not to have all mod-cons, heated pool etc.

Its crazy but its often cheaper to book somewhere like this than it is to book a tent on one of the big sites.

MN is just like Wonderpets at times isn't it? I love it!

It's Palairac, between Perpignan and Carcassonne.

(Just checked flights to Perpignon and cost was over £1K!)

I think Ryanair fly to both Perpignon and Carcassonne so you should be able to get much cheaper flights

Take a look here for accommodation

www.abritel.fr/offers/rental-holiday/france_languedoc-roussillon_dt0.php

For flights check Montpelier as well if you can't get Perpignan or Carcassonne, closer than Marseille and also have lots of cheap flights.

www.holidaylettings.co.uk/aude/

This are holiday houses and appartments to rent in the region the wedding is in, with a range of prices, & on 1st glance some reasonable & near beach or with pool. But it all depends on the flights or route down