HE JUST SHOUTED TO THE NEIGHBOURS THAT I CANT BE BOTHERD WITH OUR SON.

[igglepiggles]

i dont know whether any of you watch waterloo road but its my fav program. when it was just on the baby startede playing up, i could see he was tired rubbing his eyes etc, now it was earlier than his bed time but i didnt want him getting over tired so i asked DP who was just surfing the net please can you put him to bed for me. next thing he caused a huge row saying that i was being lazy and i should put him to bed cos he s been in work (finished at 4) then he opened our front door and shouted so everyone could hear "you cant be botherd with elwyn" and all the rest of it.
i m really upset cos its me who usually puts DS to bed and we're self employed so most of the time i ll work from home to look after him. i ve already got paranoia that people think im a rubbish mum cos im young (19) and then he goes and does this.

was i wrong? should i have done it myself? i feel like i am a bad mum now we both sort the baby out changing his bum and so on, so why did he have to do that?? he s made me cry so much that i ve got a head ache now.

I expect all your neighbours think he's an arse now.

I think he's an arse.

completely over-reacted and shouting into the street is just stupid.

You're not a bad mum, you very reasonably expect to share the whole "going to bed" routine. Does he often carry on like this?

Don't worry, if he was my neighbour I would think he was a big fat wanker.

Actually, why the fuck did he open the front door? Does he have mental problems?

He was surfing the net and you 'can't be bothered'?

And being 19 does not make you a rubbish mum. I'm 43 and there are times when I i'm a rubbish mum. But most of the time of course I'm damned near perfect . He is an arse and I'll bet your neighbours didn't even hear. One of the advantages of not being 19 is that you understand people don't judge you for everything and that even if they do, it doesn't matter.

not really but i just feel so hurt that he could say such a thing id never say your a bad dad etc cos he s not and he s the one who made such a fuss over putting him to bed that it was him who didnt want to do it. i would have done it if he said he was busy etc but he wasnt. he knows that i wanted to watch my prog. but i just feel i shouldnt have watched it at all now

Aw poor you. He's the one in the wrong here. He wasn't busy, and it's his responsibilty as much as yours. Maybe once things have calmed down again and you have made up, you should talk to him about boundaries and who does what etc - explain that this really upset you (wait until you are back on good terms though) and that you want to understand what made him explode like that.

Regarding not being a good mum adn what the neighbours think - age has nothing to do with being a good mum, so don't worry about that! And if the neighbours heard, it is him that they will have a bad impression of, not you. I mean, who shouts out the door???

the fact that he has shouted like that just proves he is a twunt not that your anything but a great mum.

your age has no bearing on your ability to parent

If I was your neighbour I wouldn't think you were a bad mum for this. I would however think your DP was "a big fat wanker" as WallofSilence so eloquently put it.

do you have anyone you could talk to about your dp - he really overreacted. you sound a fab mum xxx