Got to go to baby clinic today but dreading it, some support please!

[babyonboard]

DD needs to be weighed, plus is overdue her mmr but she is ill so I know they won't do it anyway. I feel we are being forced to go just to show our face, iyswim.

I hate the clinic. It is always packed, far too hot and DS gets very bored waiting. It's also set up ridiculously so that the waiting room has double automatic doors which open onto a busy main road. This means I have to pretty much hold onto the DC so they don't run out.

I feel like I'm just complaining over nothing but the HV's annoy me too. I wish we could just get in and out, do what we need to, without having to sit and talk about feelings etc. If I had any problems I would let them know, I don't need to be probed.

Tell me how to handle it, we are all ill and I can't be arsed with the polite nodding etc at their inane comments.

What a nightmare for you - al sounds foul. Perhaps you could ring them & let them know your dcs are not well - ask if they would prefer you to come in or stay away, & maybe ask if you could be seen quickly to ensure your dcs don't spread bugs?

Like totalchaos, I wonder if there's anything you can do other than turn up at the clinic every week - perhaps (another week when you're not all feeling rough) you could ask how long they feel they need to 'monitor' you, is there any alternative to coming to the clinic etc

A thought for future visits - if you KNOW they always ask you how you feel etc - go in & proactively TELL them you've had a great week with the dcs - done this that or the other - much less wearing than being questioned. And I'm sure you'd rather they just butted out, but at least that way you can work the system rather than the other way round

(dd was being weighed for poor growth for a while - I found bouncing in, telling them she was feeding well, sleeping well, etc was much less painful than waiting to be interogated - not the same thing I know, but the principle stands.

lol they obviously all operate from the same textbook don't they! don't dismiss the whole surestart idea out of hand, they do some great stuff - one of the ones near me does kindermusik sessions, gardening classes amongst the more traditional groups, and surely it's worth doing the odd group/class there if it gets the HVs to loosen their grip.

They haven't said they need to monitor me so much, just that the HV said I needed to go regularly. We haven't been for ages as we've either been away or one of us has been ill (bloody winter) . I've left her a voicemail but not sure if she will get back to me!?

Totalchaos we don't have surestart here, but something similar, however I looked up on it and it is all about parenting classes etc, which I do not want or need

How often are you going? There's "regularly" and then there's OTT, and now your DD is over 1 I wouldn't have expected them to want to see you more often than every six months absolute tops -- in fact if you're attending more often than that it may be why they are always wanting to talk to you about feelings (be assuming that if you're coming that often there must be something you really want to talk about).

sounds like a bit of a nightmare - hope you were able to cancel over the phone.

I just wanted to second the idea that Surestart can be great. Ours (south London) has baby sessions, bookmaking (memory books for the children), knitting group, breast-feeding cafe, the most fantastic outdoor play area, and loads more. perhaps you could get a list of sessions if you don't feel that the parenting classes are right for you.

porandlemon, I last went late december. When the SS were involved I was asked to attend at least fortnightly, but I doubt they expect that now the case is closed.

I am in south london but have been told surestart doesn't cover our area?
Tbh I have no problems with finding things to do with the dc's but that does sound really great.

do you mind me asking (roughly) where you are, baby on board?

Not at all, we are between lee Green and Blackheath.

if Children's Centres are operational in your neck of the woods, then they aren't meant to discriminate by postcode. IME of Surestart centres, they weren't bothered where you lived in terms of going to the groups, just that people not in the area couldn't get the cheap baby equipment.

I would call her and say that because of the logistics of the children and the already agreed unsuitable nature of the surgery that if they really want to "keep and eye on you" then they are more than welcome to come to you once a month at an agreed time but it really is unacceptable to suggest that you have to go in to them.

Good luck"!!!!!

we're in peckham - not too far! I'm not sure what services there are a bit nearer to you, but you could check here and here to see if there's anything near you.

With the HVs, I'd be inclined to take her when she's better (so she can get her MMR, apart from anything else) then ask "Now DD is getting a bit older, do you think I need to bring her back to get weighed again before the end of the summer?" or words to that effect. If you attend on the schedule suggested by the HVs I can't see anyone running up any red flags.

I agree with PortAndLemon. Phone and ask if you still need to go as regularly. If they agree, make sure you make a note of time/date/health visitor's name in case you need to refer to it later. Baby clinics are awful and it is very annoying no surestart in that area. Good luck.

I've ot been called back and no reply when I call, so I am not going. DS has just curled up on the sofa and gone to sleep and DD is happily playing. I don't want to drag them out in the cold when they are ill.

I just wish I didn't have to feel so antsy about it all.

How you feeling today BoB? Is dd feeling any better...