I FEEL TRAPPED IN MY OWN HOME; ITS NOT FAIR.

[igglepiggles]

I really want/need to go in to my local town but im too scared to go

you know all the problems with DPs family and how they think im stopping him seeing them even tho he has told them personally on the phone and face to face with out me being there that he cant stand them etc etc, well a few weeks ago we heard thru the grape vine that his mother had been taken in to hospital, he didnt go and see her or ask how she was and now just to add to the very long list of things that "I've" done wrong and that im "controlling" him they re threatening to " DO ME ONE " aka they're gna knock my head off my shoulders. His sister cant have kids and they're trying to get DS off us and have phoned social services, they've turned around and said that im a crap mother, i dont feed and change the baby. and they ve even decided im not worthy enough to have my DS. when SS turned up i showed them his red book etc they could see he s a little pudding and they said dont worry there is NO cause for concern.

now im really scared to go out incase i meet up with them in our local town and something happens, but if im home i wont answer the door incase they ve found out where we live. im scared to answer the phone, i feel like a prisoner in my own home. my life feels like a living hell at the moment.

this is supposed to be the happiest time of our lives getting married in september and got our own family and planning our next baby but everything is getting so on top of me, i ve done nearly all the planning for the wedding but i just dont know what im gonna do, im scared they'll find out where we're getting married and do something to spoil it. we ve reported them to the police but that dont scared them at all, one member of his family has speant many a night in a cell so im all out of ideas they sound really "ROUGH" but they're not they can put such a front on things.
it must sound like im over exagerating but i promise you im not. im so scared its making me ill. i ve lost nearly 2 stone with stress etc in the last 9 weeks. i cant eat, i cant sleep im checking the door is locked atleast 10 times a night. its ruining my life.

can anyone offer any advice to me??

Please go and see your GP and try to see if you can have some counselling on the NHS.

You poor thing how horrible. Have you seen a solicitor? Many give at least one free consultation if you are on a budget: also you could go to the CAB, because it sounds like you need an injunction against these people. THey are commiting a crime when they threaten you. They are committing a crime when they stalk and harass you.

Definitely get some advice from CAB. You cannot continue like this. x

sorry i should have told you, we ve been told by the police that unless they actually do something then no futher action can really be taken. when they ve been phoning its been withheld number and its on the business number so we cant not answer. well DP answers the phone as its got to a stage where i cant bring my self to answer it anymore.
i know i should go to my GP but i dont know what to say and he ll prob just prescribe anti depressants which i dont think will help but i know its worth a try.

my mum and dad live about 10 mins away from them. my dad used to go to the local pub for a pint twice a week but now he feels scared that he might end up coming face to face with them. they have NOT said that they're going to do anything to my family but he still feels that if they are down the pub and have had a good drink then it mite end up nasty. my mum has got a serious blood complaint she has transfusions every4/5 weeks so this stress is not helping. tho my mum has been taking it in her stride, she says it dont worry her about it starting up on them.
i have 2 older brothers one is a teacher and one is an accountant. but im scared that if something happens then my brothers especially the teacher mite lose his job as he has had enough and is not a violent person but i think he d let them have it all.

i know im making my self get more stressed by thinking of what could happen but its all going thru my mind that my family have kept out of it and still are feeling that they are being dragged in thru no fault of their own

Well if i were you id go uptowm and do my jobs and just let them get on with it, tbh youre safer in town where theres crowds of people the longer you stay in your 'safe prison' the harder it will be,at all times have your mobile fone near you ....maybe on a cord around your neck,generally those that talk about wont do it A/ because those that threaten such things are bullies and thrive on fear and B/ by threatening to hurt you and the police being aware they cant attack you and then claim it was on the spur of the moment,so this would be a pre meditated attack and would carry harsh penalties.
Keep a diary of any events and phone the police to log them every time no matter how small.
By you 'fearing' them and isolating yourself you are allowing them to win to control you to make you miserable and your family is also being affected.....chin up,plaster on a smile and get out of that house for a bit-the first time will be the hardest but it will get easier.
A good idea to tell your doctor about how low your feeling too.

Dont allow the bullies to win!!
its clear they are jealous of you,you have a lot to be envious of clearly your family is succesful and you have a lot of excitement coming up - enjoy it and dont let them get to you x

right i ve decided to go in to town to get nev (the rabbit) some treats and im gonna phone my friend to see if she ll meet me for a coffee. and im gonna try and have a nice time i really hope it all goes well.
i ll let you all know how it went by 4:30pm wish me luck.

x x x x x x

What dippy said.(great advice)

Good luck.

Good for you Iggles! I hope you have a nice time.

Hope you have a good time - sounds awful

You can get a block put on your phone that means it won't receive withheld numbers; most business calls won't withhold their number so it won't affect the business but may help somewhat with the calls?

They have threatened you. you can get a non molestation order prohibiting them from coming within a certain distance of your home and also from approaching you in the street.

you will need to go to the court, file a statement and request the order from a judge. theywill ask you why you feel you need this order and you will be able to explain in your own words why.
explain that you do not doubt these people will physically harm you if they saw you and that they haev already threatened you.
explain also what you have said here, that you are too scared to leave your house right now and that this would offer you some kind of security.

if they breach theorder they can be placed in front of a judge for breahc of the order.

im back everyone!!!! it was really scary and i thought i was going to burst in to tears whilst on my way there but i did make it!
i dont think i ll do it anytime soon again tho cos my heart was racing going around corners etc i lasted about an hour in town, i got what i wanted to get, and came home it was horrible i was shaking and felt physically sick i didnt stay in tho i then took the dog to the park and DS went on the swings for the first time! (he s 10 month) i had a really good time in the park and it passed a few hours, i felt really refreshed wen i got home.

only prob even as i ve started writing this the door was just knocked i ve pretended im not in

i mite even go 2 moz again DP isnt going into the office so i wont be scared!!

Oh iggle, there is no way you should have to live like this

Is there any way you can move? Move away, new town, where they do not know where you are.

Well done for going out this afternoon, but where do you see this going longterm??

theres no shame to pretend your not in.... its your home you can opt to answer the door or ignore it but its a shame you feel scared to to do it ,cant u have a peep hole fitted?? or look out of a window? i dont always answer my door not because im scared but cos im busy lol,today was a big step for you but you must keep it up and not allow them to bully you.

we re hoping to move from swansea south wales up to morley in leeds i have sum cousins up there and i know it like the back of my hand so it wont be a strange place.
i just feel that its unfair that we should have to do that tho my mum isnt too well i know she s got my dad but they wont be able to see the baby as and when they want and my mum is my best mate. i really dont know what to do, i feel so down and its making me ill. thankyou all for being so supportive of me and giving your advice.

we've just moved and house is "upside down" bedrooms down stairs and lounge etc upstairs with a balcony cos we're on a huge hill with fantastic view., but anyways lol i cant see who's at the door frm upstairs and if we had a peep hole what if they hear me and go away?? see wat they've done to me im a nervouse wreck !! i hate myself for it cos i never used to be like this i was really confident!!

sorry i meant hear me and DONT go away??

you need to do what mamazon said

youneed to change your number

is your dh a bit soft and scared of his family?

this is worth saving up for.

also contact your local community support police officer and they might give you a panic alarm.

something like changing your mobile and telephone numbers is v. easy. so do it now