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Original poster

I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE!!! When do mornings start to get easier???

16 replies

Carla · 09/12/2004 09:04

Every morning I have a battle with:

Getting dressed
Plaits
teeth

times two.

When do they realise these things HAVE to be done and just accept they need to be done there and then?

OP posts:

Amanda3266 · 09/12/2004 09:16

Oh God Carla, I don't know if they ever do. I remember clearly the battle my mother had with my dear sister as a child. I was happy to wear whatever - she was not and a fight would ensue.

My only bit of comfort is that she has produced three daughters exactly the same and now it's her that has the battles.

Sorry that's not alot of help I know - but it might provode a bit of comfort to know that one day they will face exactly the same battle

Mandy

Caligulights · 09/12/2004 09:22

Have you tried allowing them to be late for school? The humiliation of that once, sometimes works for some kids (though it's not guaranteed!)

Also, do they watch TV before going to school? I find that if they know that the sooner they get ready, the sooner they can watch CBeebies, and if there are delays, they won't be watching TV that morning, it works. We very rarely have the morning hell that was my life every day when I was a kid, and I think that's down to Cbeebies.

frogs · 09/12/2004 09:31

A written timetable helped for us.

Eg. 7.00 breakfast
7.30 brush teeth
7.45 get dressed
8.00 hair
8.30 arrange bags and lunchboxes by front door.

typed out and attached prominently to the fridge. You also need to get a supply of cheap, easily readable clocks for kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. It helps to do as much as possible the night before, eg. laying breakfast table, making packed lunches and laying out school clothes.

Other parents will think you're Stalin, but who cares?

hana · 09/12/2004 09:32

Oh Carla, I have that as well, but only with 1 and she's only 3!
I know I need to sort ourselves out....today we woke up much later than usual and she was late for nursery....just had toast for breakfast (watching tv natch while I got her dressed and hair done etc etc)
you have all my sympathies!

Original poster

Carla · 09/12/2004 10:18

Thank you all. Not sure dh could stand the humiliation of being late (he takes them). DD1 is sort of halfway there with the time but DD2 is still clueless. And I feel like a complete heel cos I gave DD2 two counts to five to have her hair done, she didn't, and now she's gone to school in yesterday's plaits.

OP posts:

Original poster

Carla · 09/12/2004 10:21

And unbrushed teeth.

OP posts:

heavenlyghost · 09/12/2004 10:31

In a school were I worked years ago there was a girl whose parents came in at the end of their tether because for years they had the same struggle to get their daughter dressed and out of the house in the morning.
The head of the school suggested that they bring her to school in her pyjamas. They did, and she never ever caused a fuss again.
I am not sure I would do something that harsh but it worked for that family.

kneez · 09/12/2004 11:16

I've had a nightmare with my 5 yrold this morning she point blank refused to get dressed and get ready for school saying she didn't want to go to school today - wailing and bawling as loud as she could - i tried the calm approach and tried to dress her but she decided to kick me hard afew times at which point the calm approach took a nose dive and i completely lost it with her - i shouted at her and smacked her calf (which didn't help may i add nor did it make me feel any better as i was nearly crying coming to work,i don't want to smack my child at all but at that point it was the only option as the more i tried to reason with her the worse she got and i was runnng late for work because of her tantrum so i didn't have time for the time out approach). Dh took her to school and later phoned me to tell me she continued screaming all the way to school and wingeing when she got into school so if there are any mums out there who can give me any advice i would be so grateful - i feel like such a failure as a mum - i didn't have a mum around from about 9yrs old (i know this isn't an excuse) and sometimes i feel so confused as to the right thing to do with regards to both my girls - i just want to be a good mum and wife and most of the time i feel i am neither!!!(sad)

Original poster

Carla · 09/12/2004 11:25

Good grief kneez! If I had to be bathed and dressed and on my way to work as well they'd be no hope for any of us! I'm so sorry to hear you lost your mum so early, I'm lucky enough to still have mine but believe me, it makes no difference to dds' behaviour in the morning. Hope we can both sort this one out

OP posts:

whatanenormousturkey · 09/12/2004 11:30

I'm just trying something with my little one. She's only 2 so it might not work for an older child:

On the days when she doesn't go to the cm, I'm playing with her (as we used to) and telling her that I'm going to chase her and making her laugh, etc. And it takes a while for her to get up.

On the days when we have to get out fast, I just keep saying 'quick quick'. So, 'come on xxxxx, time to get dressed, quick quick', and I just do it - if she gets bolshy, there's no messing around, I just scoop her up and we get on with it. I've been doing it for a couple of weeks, and this morning, we were really really late, so did it again and it worked! Amazing! I gave her lots and lots of praise as we left and she was absolutely fine.

Tomorrow is another day......and we'll see!

nerdgirl · 09/12/2004 11:36

Hi Carla,

I have boys so not the same hair or clothes dilemmas but what worked for us was setting up their own morning radio programme. I know it sounds silly but it really did work.

We worked out how long it would take for each task - getting out of bed, going to the loo, getting downstairs for breakfast etc. all the way to coats on and ready to go.

And the guys (who are 4 and 6) picked their favourite songs and made a little tape with them shouting - "This is XXX radio! Time to get out of bed guys and watch that first step on the ladder!!" etc.

They know how long the songs are and therefore how long they have for each task. And they boss themselves around on the tape - all I have to do is get myself up and ready and then press play! :o

Roisin · 09/12/2004 11:43

Wow! That's fantastic nerdgirl!

OhTickleTownofBethlehem · 09/12/2004 11:46

sounds fab nerdgirl!!

I vote for that approach... for myself even

santaclary · 10/12/2004 00:17

friend of mine took her dd halfway to school in her pyjamas when she wouldn't get dressed...(friend had school uniform in her bag for quick change). DD never did it again.

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 10/12/2004 00:20

wow nerdgirl, that's inspired! How fab.

xmashampermunker · 10/12/2004 00:25

Wow! The tape sounds fab. DH may have to make me one that says: It's time to get off the PC and come to bed, you dirty stop-up mumsnetter!

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