Would you want to work for someone who asked these questions at interview? Or, AIBU due to pmt?

[WideWebWitch]

I went for an interview yesterday. It's a contract role (I'm an interim) and the guy who interviewed me asked:

"how old are your children?" (this wasn't conversational or chit chat, it was because he considered it relevant)
"what are your childcare arrangements?"
"Is your husband still a sahd?" (I said I went back to work when dd was 4 months old and dh stayed at home with her)
"who does all the dropping and collecting at school?" (DH is the answer)

He only seemed reassured when I said "dh works near the children and drops and collects them. I have a part time nanny, an ex mil who steps in for emergencies, and parents of ds's friends who can help if needed. I worked away from my family for six months in 2005 and dh was responsible for looking after them during the week. The odd bit of travel isn't an issue if that's what you're asking."

I did do the the latter but only as a desperate measure and it was hell on earth.

I may not get this job and even if I do I may not take it but why are women still asked these questions? My husband and ex husband are NEVER asked these things at interview.

It pisses me off. What do you all think? The interviewer was in his late 40s/early 50s I'd guess and he's an interim too, but I think as a CFO he should know better.

Dh says it's my pmt talking btw. He is keen for me to get it and take it as it's a good daily rate! I can't blame him for that

God that is illegal, the answer to your question is NO!?

that's terrible, isn't it? Damn right a dad doesn't get asked these things....

They are not allowed to ask questions like that.

It is NOT your pmt.

I don't think it is illegal to ask is it? Isn't it just "guidelines" that it's best not to? As Capt Barbossa would say...

I'd take great pleasure in doing something terrible to dh if I were you. Not only is the interviewer sexist but so is dh, blaming 'women's trouble' grrrr.

Unless the interviewer asked every other candidate, male and female, searching questions about childcare, of course.

No, it is illegal, it's sex discrimination and if you don't get the job you can make a claim. Problem is you probably wouldn't want to as it would be a. hassle and b. one always worries about reputation in the industry. Bastards.

Dh knows I do get terrible pmt and am vastly unreasonable and vile to him when I have it so to be fair to him, he was responding to an email I sent him yesterday which said

fking fkers
I don;t think I want their fking job because of the childcare questions, they should know better and can fk off

THAT'S when he said it was my pmt talking, he agrees they shouldn't be asking me those questions, he just thinks my being hopping mad about it as above is out of proportion due to pmt

I have a colleague that everytime we need to interview something she makes a point of women with children not being a good choice. Funny thing about that, is that even with the multiple health problems DS's had, I have not been absent at work 1/10 of the times she ahs signed herself off with mild depression. If it was up to me I would not give HER a job, not because of her depression but because she is a cow!.

Now back to the original post, whether I would work for this person or not, I'm not sure. If I loved the role and was sure that it wouldn't interfer too much with my "life after work", I would. BUT if this is an indication of how little they will be prepared to compromise in a position that may require some flexibility the answer is NO.

I don't know the law regarding employmnent but those questions definitely sound illegal to me.

"Someone" even!

It did cross my mind that I might have a claim. I put my concern in writing to the agent that sent me as

"Negatives:

• he asked about my childcare arrangements and back up plans. I assured him I have a husband who works near the children's school and nursery; a part time nanny; help from my family; help from parents of my son's friends. I have back ups and back ups for the back ups. I reassured him that travel isn't a problem as he intimated there might be some"

so I have documented that he asked me these questions. Fucker.

BTW, I had an interview for a job I was sure I was going to get. I could see the smiles getting broader and broader as we talked. As soon as I mentioned I wanted to leave at 3:00 to pick up DS from school... KERPOOF!!! no matter it was a part time job!

If you don't get the job, talk to whatever the body is called that has replaced the Equal Opps Commission.

It's a contract so if I get it and take it I can leave with very short notice if it pisses me off. It's in The City, surprise surprise [wry smile]

If I don't get it I doubt very very much it'll be because of that, it'll be because he's not sure if the job's too big for me. I don't think it is and I gave him good reasons why I don't think it is so we'll see. I have a second interview so the question is whether I go to it. I'll see how I feel in 2 weeks time I Think.

Def won't claim as a) can't be arsed and b) edam, you're right about my reputation, it will get around.

I probably wouldn't want to work for him long term, but given all the advantages of the job, and the fact it's only a contract I would probably bite my lip. I would however make a huge point of reporting him to HR and maybe even tribunal after I'd succesfully completed the contract.

Prufrock, yes, THAT'S The right thing to do, definitely. I have it documented too so I should do the contract, make sure I walk away with my cash and other good contacts as referees then report him to his COO.

Hey, guess their market sector? Recruitment!

Oh, lolol at your email to dh and the need to quote it to defend him, but really, what a complete arse (the interviewer, not your dh, I hasten to add). It's outrageous, but as Prufrocksays, it's probably worth putting up with it just for the duration of the contract, especially if you report him afterwards.

ha ha Tamum
I know, hey, it's all moot, I haven't been offered it yet.

I am for you. I went to an interview a few mths ago and was asked similar questions ( aprt from the travel question). I was not happy - the guy was an old codger type and I decided that he would be crap to work for. And he had very oldfashioned views on flexible working.

So thank goodness I didn't get the job

I always, always get asked if I can travel (I have just come back from maternity leave). TBF I am a single parent though so actually I can't travel a couple of days a week as there isn't anyone else there.

I've never been asked about my childcare arrangements though. I did get the increasingly broad smile yesterday at an interview which I think faded when I said I only wanted to work a 4 day week. Very irritating as I'd told the bloke in the agency that I only want to work 4 days.

I think questions like this are pretty much par for the course in the City (guess where I work). Still doesn't mean they're not out of order though.

I wouldn't mind if someone asked "do you mind some travel?" - that's fine. It's when they ask about childcare and specifics of your arrangements that I get cross.