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Original poster

Just how bad was my behaviour?

43 replies

abitsheepish · 08/12/2004 15:41

I am a bit embarrassed about this - hence hiding under temporary name.

Picture the scene:

Christmas shopping with toddler in tow. Toddler getting hungry and tired. I go to restaurant area of large department store which is a big restaurant area - almost like a food court with several different serveries. Its packed solid.

Decide to speed things up by skipping lunch myself and getting toddler a sort of take out style lunch (its a pick and mix lunch where you choose 5 items like sandwiches, raisins, biscuits etc - you know the sort). Go to hatch with the shortest queue - only 5 people in front of me (as oppose to about 15 people in all other queues). They are all waiting to be served food, which is being prepared for them (it was a stir fry counter).

I ask politely:

"Excuse me, is it possible for you to just ring this through the till? I am not waiting for any food"

In reply I get a contemptuous sneer from the woman at the counter and (delivered in a hostile tone):

"You just have to wait your turn - there is a queue"

Now I don't know where this came from. I wasn't unduly stressed at the time, but I don't like to be spoken to rudely. Also didn't like the insinuation that I was trying to push in - as I felt my request was reasonable. So before I really knew what I was doing I reacted and tipped the contents of my toddlers food box over her hatchery, and said "It's okay, I don't want this any more!" and stormed off.

I'm a bit red as I write this now . But just how bad was my behaviour and how much should I beat myself up over this?

OP posts:

Original poster

abitsheepish · 08/12/2004 15:44

I'm a bit scared about your anticipated responses and I've gone all nervous!

OP posts:

pixiefish · 08/12/2004 15:46

not at all. if you had what you wanted and didn't need any food off the hot plate then why did you have to wait? Also you had a hungry child with you- people should make allowances as kids can't wait. I had a horrid time in the asda cafe last week- people pushing me and me struggling with A PRAM AND FOOD - the counter lady was lovely though- she helped me and made the pushing people wait because she could see i was strugglng

NoMoomAtTheInn · 08/12/2004 15:46

Tee hee. Just the sort of thing I would have done, actually...

So I would say, no, don't beat yourself up. You weren't terribly polite, but nor was she, and your original request was reasonable, imo.

Go on, who are you?!

MrsDoobaubles · 08/12/2004 15:47

Don't. You'll laugh about it later.
Wish I had the courage sometimes!! Would like to have seen it

Bagpussinboots30 · 08/12/2004 15:49

Sounds like our local branch of John Lewis who are unfeasably slow at serving food. dh has said much much worse in the past as have other customers. I don't think your behaviour was bad at all, it actually sounds a bit like something I would do . I hate bad service at the best of times but I don't see why she had to be so rude as well. I would follow it up with a letter to the store manager if it was me (but then, that's just me ).

sparklynorthernstar · 08/12/2004 15:51

Sorry - but I'm PMSL at you tipping the contents of yiur toddler food box over her hatchery!!! Is hatchery a real word?!!

teabelly · 08/12/2004 15:51

DOn't feel bad...I wish I were that brave! Your original request was perfectly reasonable...some people are too jobsworthy IMHO

moondog · 08/12/2004 15:52

Nah, f* em all!! IMO there should be special allowances for ALL parents with kids under 5.
My sister did something similar at a supermarket where the cashier was v rude to her. She let her ring through all the stuff, then smiled and said
'Gosh, do you know, I think I've changed my mind!'
and walked away, swinging her handbag.

My sisters and I spend hours plotting revenge on anyone who has been rude to us!! (Not that it happens often I hasten to add-we are reasonable people..)

5goldendillydallys · 08/12/2004 15:53

Note to self - never annoy moondog

pixiefish · 08/12/2004 15:55

moondog- guffaw at your sister

shepherdswatchtheircatsbynight · 08/12/2004 15:56

LOL! Agree with teabelly i wish i had the courage to do stuff like that when unfairly treated. I think myself brave if i so much as give a dirty look when someone's rude to me!

The problem starts when your toddler copies you next time you're queing for something to eat

moondog · 08/12/2004 15:58

Mae hi'n wallgo Pixiefish!!

aloha · 08/12/2004 16:01

Oooh, it could have been me! I know that 'red mist' moment all too well, and frankly, I think the silly b*tch was asking for it.

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 08/12/2004 16:02

I do, have done, will continue to react like that in moments of madness, or whatever. Don't feel bad.

I once rammed Lotties buggy into the ankle of a sales assistant who took a pair of shorts out of my hand saying ' they won't fit you'!!!! I was so angry that as I turned to leave I just rammed her, blatantly. i loved it, stupid cow, hope it REALLY hurt her

I can totally imagine me reacting like that to someone and LOL at hatchery as well.

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 08/12/2004 16:03

ohhh 'Red Mist' Aloha, nice to have a word for it

misdee · 08/12/2004 16:12

sort of thing i;d do as well.

dh the other week, practically lobbed at dvd at someone in blockbuster as they said the dvd he had chosen wasnt in the deal (3 for 20wuid or something), even tho it was on thr shelf with loads of others the same.

i have also rammed the buggy into a business man at kings x station after he barged past me.

CathB2 · 08/12/2004 16:15

If it is any consolation you are not the only one and you were at least in the right. I will now share mine I have had a hissy fit in Tesco, due to Saturday from Hell, DH and children driving me crazy, nearly being run over by trolley full of salad etc, etc, etc. Nobody in the 10 items or less queue so, for the first time in my life I thought sod it and took my more than 10 items and got told off by the assistant and then by another customer who appeared as I was unloading. I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET OUT BEFORE I KILLED SOMEBODY !!! and normally nobody says anything to people with trolleys full going through. Had big tantrum to this effect, and stamped off in tears but did get over it eventually (am very mild mannered normally). Some teenage boys enquired sypathetically whether I was ok, which cheered me up a bit.

Do not beat yourself up in any way these places make you crazy, not a jury in the land would convict you. Your request was perfectly reasonable and she might think twice about being narky to someone else in future!

moondog · 08/12/2004 16:21

Answer I think is to avoid shops like the plague, partic. with kids and at the w/end.

I try and buy everything off the Internet so that I can avoid the sodding places.

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 08/12/2004 16:25

Oh yes that reminded me MissDee, I actually chased after another girl who pushed me out of the way as I was about to go through a gate on the tube. She pushed me aside and barged through first! I was so gobsmacked I chased after her and clipped her ankle as well!

shepherdswatchtheircatsbynight · 08/12/2004 16:29

Dp and i go at the crack of dawn on a Saturday, which is good because it's really quiet then.

CathB2 · 08/12/2004 16:32

Moondog - I wish. DH likes shopping! This is normally good but I am trying to persuade him that we should avoid the town centre till January especially with the children and he was very resistant "but Saturday is the only day I get out". I think may have a cold or something by then...

Am feeling much better about my red mist episode now..

newgirl · 08/12/2004 16:35

I had that in a bhs!!! My dd was losing it and the queue was massive so I just walked off and we ate the food and I paid later when the queue had gone down!!!

MancMum · 08/12/2004 17:01

I think what you did is fabulous and highly commendable - well done!

snowvary · 08/12/2004 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DickWhittingtonsCat · 08/12/2004 17:26

I get angry too with rude service. Anyone in a service industry should be polite (including me giving prof services to clients). This morning I went to buy Xmas gifts in the bookshop and I politely asked the assistant if he had a copy of a particular children's book in stock. He checked and said no, so I asked if they could order it and he said it would never come by Xmas and was v unhelpful. So I said it was disappointing that they kept such a small selection of children's books in the store, and he started going on about how they were a City branch and there was no demand for it. Then I got angry and said plenty of City workers had children and next time I would go to Amazon if he was going to argue with me. Suddenly he said he was sorry that they could not process orders before Xmas and he would check if another branch nearby had extra copies. I don't think you should beat yourself up over it, but I find it more satisfying to make it a customer relations point and get an apology, than to lose my temper.

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