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Original poster

Should I Move out of my flat and into a house when i have a baby?

19 replies

GreenFlamingo123 · 06/03/2023 09:13

Hi everyone,
I currently live in a spacious flat on the first floor.

I am not sure if i should move into a house that will be about mins-a hour further away from my family or stay in a flat that doesn't have a driveway or a garden and is up one flight of stairs.

I love my flat and I always manage to get parking on my street but i have been told by a couple friends of mine who lived in flats without lifts or parking spots that is it difficult with all the things you need to lug back and forth with a child...

Any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:

TunicFox · 06/03/2023 09:16

Following because I have this dilemma as well!

We're in a 3rd floor flat which is spacious enough but no lift and no garden. (Park nearby though).

Don't know what to do if/ when we have a child. DH is very keen to stay, I'm less sure if it's going to work!

starpatch · 06/03/2023 09:18

It is lovely having a garden with a baby to be honest, once they start to toddle they would be able to go outside so easily and experience a natural environment that is private. I say this as someone who was in a ground floor flat, it was fine, but I do think my son missed out on something. First floor with no lift would be a pain with a buggy, especially if your child is woken by being taking out of buggy or bumped up the stairs (mine would have been). They tend to fall asleep in the buggy every day when you take them out and are on the way back.

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 06/03/2023 09:19

A flat up a set of stairs and no garden or parking is an absolutely nightmare with a baby. Seriously you can’t imagine it till you’ve done it. Don’t.

OverTheRubicon · 06/03/2023 09:24

I lived in a flat with no outdoor space and stairs and moved out when my second was a toddler. It's much more do-able than people think!

A lot depends on you and on your relationships and setup.

For me, it helped that I had local family, local parks and good public transport. I'd have the baby in a sling a lot (a good ergonomic sling that can also back carry as they get bigger, not a baby Bjorn), and a yo-yo style light buggy that could be carried upstairs in a pinch and fold easily.

We got out every day to groups or parks or family or even a quick shop, which was in some ways better for my sanity than staying indoors like I did with later kids with a larger house.

It was also nice not to have upheaval or a higher rent/mortgage during maternity leave. There's also a lot less cleaning and no garden to care for, which is great.

Our final drive to move was when some really difficult downstairs neighbours moved in, it made shared living much less enjoyable. I do love having a bigger house and garden, but it comes with plenty of challenges along with the good stuff. Up until the tricky neighbours and growing busy kids, a flat was pretty perfect, and I'd definitely do it the same way if I had my time over.

IWantToBeACat · 06/03/2023 09:24

We live in a 2nd floor flat and the couple that had it before us moved to a house for this very reason. There is no lift in the building and nowhere to store the pram downstairs so would have had to lug it up and down every time or leave it in the car. There was also the dilemma of what to do if one had gone shopping with the baby. Do you take baby upstairs first and leave them whilst you go back down for the shopping or vice versa, or can you only go out when there are two of you around? Which is okay on paper but that's not always practical in reality. Especially when baby is too big for a sling, but not able to walk up all the stairs. Loads of people do manage, obviously, but I have to admit, I think if you can afford, a house is more practical. Also, it's nice to have a garden so the children can play outside as they grow.

OverTheRubicon · 06/03/2023 09:31

One other thing - in this country we do tend to accompany having babies with loads and loads of 'stuff' - big car seats, big buggies, big bouncers, bassinets, bottles and all the accompanying kit, lots of car trips. If that works best for someone's setup that's great.

I'm not a particularly hippy parent and I've had each of those for at least 1 of my DCs. But none of it is necessary and in many cases it's not even that helpful. If you do want all the above you're likely better off in a house. But if you like your home, and like the community and people around, there are other ways.

Smogtopia · 06/03/2023 09:48

I'd stay in the flat until baby was a bit older - those first months are the most needed for family support. Depending on when baby is born / when they turn 12-15 months is when they'll start enjoying a garden. If they turn 12 months and start walking in December then likely you wouldn't use a garden for more than a few minutes at a time - so could look at moving when baby is 18 months in the summer.

A few tips -
Keep pram in car and use a sling to get baby in and out of the flat. You can be totally hands free easily up to 2/3 with a sling (especially for a few minutes or so - not all of us can carry a 3 year old for long distance in a sling but all of us carry our 3 year olds in our arms from time to time if not often, so a sling you can safely strap baby to you in leaves hands free for carrying down with a shopping bag or nappy bag
Keep a safe space for baby bear your flat front door - a baby bouncer / closed in cot or high chair with straps (as they get older) so you get baby in first - put them somewhere completely safe then run back down for the shopping bags.

QuinkWashable · 06/03/2023 09:57

I'm with Smogtopia - I had my first baby in a flat, and the second in a house, and it was much more of a pain running up and down stairs to the toilet with them/making sure they were safe in the house with the second than it was in a flat with my first.

Like Smog, the car seat stayed in the car, I never carried the baby in it, I didn't actually use a buggy much, because by the time he was too heavy for the carrier he was walking.

I suppose the ideal situation would be a bungalow - all on one level, and has a garden.

FlounderingFruitcake · 06/03/2023 10:07

I lived in 3rd floor flat with no lift when DD was tiny. Loved it there and coped fine but it certainly is easier in a house! That said if you’re currently near family who would be helpful with baby and you’d have to go an hour away to afford a house then no way would I be considering it right now. Reassess once you’re adjust to parenthood and when you have a toddler that would actually get use out of garden. In the meantime get set up to make the flat work- a sling, light weight stroller that’s easy to carry like a YoYo, nappy bin, online shopping for everything you can.

Proudmummy67 · 06/03/2023 10:15

I've lived in a flat with my baby. I agree with others and actually being in a flat has its benefits with a little one. You can keep an eye on them easier and we've never needed a baby monitor etc.

The stairs have been a pain but we've put up with it. Try to go for easy wins such as carrying baby up and not in a heavy car seat. Although we have done that plenty of times ha. Get shopping delivered for ease etc.

My little boy is 2 now and loves being outdoors and playing in the garden. We've spent a lot of time in parks etc but we are currently in the process of moving to a house, partly for the reason of having a garden. Although we have waited 2 years and I wouldn't say its anything you have to rush yet. Your flat with be perfectly fine with a baby :)

ItstheZwartbles · 06/03/2023 10:38

I lived in a first floor flat when mine was a baby, it was fine. Moved to a house with a garden when he was a toddler though and it was a godsend. He had a little slide, sand and water table, trampoline. He could amuse his self for hours out there, supervised from my sun lounger of course .

Lamelie · 06/03/2023 10:40

Stay put! All on one level with a baby/ toddler is invaluable. As pp have said use a sling/ keep pram in the car/ get deliveries. Being near family is also invaluable.

welliebelly · 06/03/2023 10:43

It's fine, Op. No need to be in as house with garden as long as you have some nice outside space close by like a nice park. The parking thing is fine too if you can reliably get a spot close to your house. Some people are weirdly obsessed with living in a house.

kirinm · 06/03/2023 10:48

I had my DD in a flat (still do). We also have a garden but rarely use it. We spend a lot of time in parks - we are in London and do have some really great ones.

We want to sell and buy a house but that is because living in a flat comes with its own difficulties in terms of neighbours and other owners.

justmyluck1234 · 06/03/2023 10:55

If you can avoid it I would. I currently live in a flat no lift (two flights of stairs) parking is a nightmare and I have a 1yr old and another little one on the way. I desperately want to get out but finding it difficult due to income. Although it's doable it's definitely hard work and not ideal.

ISeeTheLight · 06/03/2023 11:03

I'd say being near family makes up for the stairs.
As PP said, leave the pram in the car, just take the car seat up/down stairs. Get a backpack for changing bag. Also a sling will be handy (and not just for getting up/down stairs).
A garden isn't a necessity at all - if you've got a park nearby you're good.

catfunk · 06/03/2023 12:43

My city is mainly flats so most people manage ok with a baby.
The main thing I'd consider is buggy/ stairs situation.

Username24680 · 06/03/2023 13:17

Lived in a lovely big 4 bed duplex flat when I had DS1. It was over the 1st and 2nd floors. Stairs straight from a balcony off the kitchen into a big private garden. We absolutely loved that flat!! I never even considered that we wouldn’t like it with a baby but in all honesty, we sold and moved to a small house because I found it a nightmare 🙈🤣 I really do think it’s one of those things that you just don’t know until you’re in the situation!

I suffered quite a bad pelvic injury in my 3rd trimester which continued after birth and made stairs very tricky so that definitely added to the inconvenience.

DH works away for weeks at a time and I don’t drive so I was constantly having to cart a baby and a pram up and down the stairs. I had intended to use a sling but couldn’t because of my injury, plus DS HATED the sling. He’d always fall asleep in the pram and then I’d either be stuck outside for hours on end or have to take him out the pram and into the flat which would always wake him. It actually put me off leaving the house some days. Carrying shopping, a pram and a baby up stairs was a nightmare.
I also hated not being able to get baby ready to go out and get him into the pram etc in the house - I was always having to cart it all downstairs and then faff about getting him in, the nappy bag in etc.

We didn’t have any family close by to help anyway so I can’t comment on how beneficial that is etc.

Obviously my injury didn’t help, and we went back into full lockdown when DS was 5 weeks old so it was quite a stressful and lonely time being alone with a newborn anyway but if I could avoid being in a flat with a young child I would.

We moved to a bungalow so have the benefit of being all on one floor now with a toddler which is ideal and it’s so nice just being able to wheel a buggy out of the house or open the door straight into the garden to play!

MrNook · 06/03/2023 20:14

I'm in a flat with stairs and a toddler, thought it would be ok and it's a bloody nightmare and I'm moving soon to a house

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