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Original poster

Single or joint account?

66 replies

PickasillyChristmasName · 06/12/2004 13:58

DH and I have had a joint account since we got married 5 years ago; everything either of us earn goes into it and everything we spend comes out of it. We've never had the concept of "your money" and "my money" which I think I am glad about.It meant that when I was bringing in nothing at the end of maternity leave, I didn't feel I had to ask DH for money - it was just there.

I know lots of people do have single bank accounts, or contribute a certain amount into a joint account but DH and I have been glad that we do have a "what's yours is mine" way of money.

Interested in what other people do and how it works for them (and I'm bored at work Smile)

OP posts:
Blackduck · 06/12/2004 15:28

ah - and you see, like MIFM, I'm not married either...!

MrsDoobaubles · 06/12/2004 15:30

Not really HMC. We are married but as I usually say to dh what's his is mine and what's mine is mine! GrinGrin
I get really annoyed when my dh comments on the fact I have spent too much money on something or other ( I usually have) but atleast I have the comeback "Well it's my money!!" He hates the fact I drive a new car. I love it, he says its a go-cart.
I still end up doing all the laundry though Sad

Batters · 06/12/2004 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bonymerryxmas · 06/12/2004 15:39

We have a joint account and I think this works as we have very similar attitudes towards money - I can see how it could be difficult if one was a spender and one a saver. Having said that I have a separate account (my old current account pre-dh) which is used for the rental of my old house, and dh has some savings accounts in his sole name which he had before we married - he keeps saying though that he should put them in my name for tax purposes but we just keep forgetting to do it. Can't really imagine having separate accounts for day to day stuff.

Flumberrysauce · 06/12/2004 15:44

Separate accounts out of sheer idleness having never bothered to open the joint account. We are both crap with money. He pays rent, and always pays when we go out (I'm old fashioned like to be paid for by man, don't carry money like the queen). I pay bills and baby stuff.

He bungs me a grand when I'm looking down in the mouth about over draft.

He spends silly money on fly fishing trips and I spend silly money on who knows what. So it means we don't nag each other.

Its all in the same pot really just subdivided.

My only concern is he has a pension but I don't. He says I don't need one as he has one but to get one if I want to. Needless to say am too idle to get around to it. We are not married yet but will be next summer. Anyone got experience of this - dread to think we would divorce or die but we all know it does happen. Would I get some pension from him or should i start one?

Flumberrysauce · 06/12/2004 15:45

Dear everyone,

seperate is spelt separate

sorry

thankyou

NomDePlumPudding · 06/12/2004 15:47

Dear Flumberry

Thankz for the spelin leson, I'll bare it in mynd

Grin
Flumberrysauce · 06/12/2004 15:48

I have some friends who are married but each do their own washing. I think its sweet.

I also have some friend who live together with a child and keep all finances separate. It is very funny when they each pay for their own dinner. She now SAHM and he gives her pocket money each week!

NomDePlumPudding · 06/12/2004 15:49

Gawd, I'd find the 'pocket money' element v patronising & insulting....

Original poster
PickasillyChristmasName · 06/12/2004 15:51

Me too.

In fact, I'd hate it.

That's one reason I'm glad DH and I have a joint account.

How do/did those of you with separate accounts manage when you were bringing in less money when on maternity leave (or were you very organised and had savings to cover the gap Smile)

OP posts:
Flumberrysauce · 06/12/2004 15:54

Well i would say. 'Give me some money please dear' and he would say ' I give it with a glad heart my darling, to she who bears my fruit and cleans their sh*t'

NomDePlumPudding · 06/12/2004 15:54

I'm a SAHM who earns £0. When I was preg and still earning, DH and I agreed that when I gave up work he would put an amount into my bank account every month by Direct Debit. Unfortunately this never happened and DD is now 2y 3m ! If I need anything I can either tell him and he'll hand over his card, or I use my Barclaycard which he pays off at the end of the month.

MrsDoobaubles · 06/12/2004 15:56

savings to cover the gap.
Things may change for us in the future. Should we be blessed with 'number 2' I would have to reduce my hours at work and so earn less then I wouldn't beable to contribute as much. We'd have to cross that bridge when we got to it....

wrapmefestively · 06/12/2004 15:59

Flumberry...

Yes you need a pension of your own - unless you are 200% sure that you and your dp / dh will be together forever

prufRockingAroundtheXmasTree · 06/12/2004 16:05

We have separate accounts, but only because I never bothered to close mine down from before dh. Nothing goes into it now, except transfers from dh's account to allow me to take cash out, although most of the time I just ask him to get me some because he goes past cash machines every day.. We also have a joint account. I control all our finances on the internet, so even though all the money is earnt by dh, it tends to be him asking me if we can afford to buy things. I also have all our savings (rather a huge anmount at the moment as we are renting) in my name only for tax purposes. I really can't understand how people in a forever relationship can keep their finances separate - that's not a criticism, I just can't contemplate how it works.

Flumberrysauce · 06/12/2004 16:07

Well would love to be sure but seems to me everyone is sure at the beginning - its 10 years down the line that the rot sets in....

I reckon I will get one, probably the same time we get around to opening a joint bank account!

Flumberrysauce · 06/12/2004 16:10

My brother is married to a japanese girl.

Over there all the men give their salaries to their wives and the wives control everything.

It is really funny when they are visiting and he wants to buy books and she says ' Well you can have two but not all three so choose!' he doesn't care though, gives him one less thing to worry about. She is the one in tears if the finances are not working out though.

The other thing they do over there is they don't buy things they can't afford so all their cars and stuff they have saved up for and bought! Very impressive I think.

MrsDoobaubles · 06/12/2004 16:11

I don't understand how it works if you disagree on what you spend some money on. Neither fo us are afraid to stand our ground - it would be heartache all round.
I've just spent a fortune on reusable nappies. Dh would want to know why I bought fancy ones when nappies are nappies and plain ones will do.

Gobbledigoose · 06/12/2004 16:21

Joint account - one pot, everything goes in, we both spend from it as we please. What's the problem with that?

I keep a check on finances so we always know how flush, or not, we are so don't go madly spending out of it but we certainly don't ask each others permission and I certainly wouldn't stand for having to ask for money!!! What's that all about then?!

lailag · 06/12/2004 16:22

Having had separate accounts for about 15 years (before meeting dh) didn't see the point of suddenly having joined accounts. But never have any (major) money issues. Sometimes he has earned more and sometimes it has been me. No rules about who pays for what. But don't really know exactly how much he earns and how much he spends and on what, neither does he knows about my money affairs. But that is just our lack of interest..

JJ · 06/12/2004 16:25

I have no bank account in the UK which can be frustrating, but the only reason for this is because both of us are too lazy to go to the branch and get me onto it. When we moved here for the first time, the bank my husband worked for set it up like that!

However, I'm the one who manages the money and I've got UK credit cards. The only time I really need it is for cheques (he just signs a bunch and I use as necessary) and the other day for PayPal (I just registred him and will use that when needed).

So it's effectively joint. :)

elliott · 06/12/2004 16:30

I am always interested to see how different people's attitudes to money are. I can't understand how people can cope if they don't know how much money they have coming in to the household! (having said that, I know my dh probably wouldn't know exactly, but since I do I reckon that's ok!). Our finances have gradually merged more and more - pre kids we put equal amounts into a joint household account but the rest was separate. Now everything is joint but we have equal amounts going OUT to our own personal accounts - for clothes, books, 'toys' etc. I don't see what else is fair if you have differing incomes or periods of maternity leave with no pay. Basically I mainly control it as dh has little interest. We are tolerant of each others wishes though so arguments about fancy nappies wouldn't arise(!) Fortunately he is also responsible and not a big spender, so we are pretty compatible.

Flum your last sentence made me laugh. Some of us do things that way here you know - the only debt we've ever had is mortgage debt, we save for cars, holidays etc.

Gobbledigoose · 06/12/2004 16:30

So if people have separate accounts - what if you need to buy something major - how do you decide if you can afford it?

Also, if you have separate accounts and you have your own spending money and one has more than the other - doesn't it feel a bit strange that one is kind of living a slightly more wealthy life than the other one?? Presumably one of you can afford much nicer clothes and more nights out etc so how does that work? And say dh has a much bigger personal pot - does that mean he can just spend that as he likes but at the same time you may be saying that you jointly can't afford a new bathroom??

Not sure if my questions are making any sense here!!

Just that, if you have the one account and spend out of it equally regardless of who puts what in, it's easier to see, 'ahhh, we have this much savings, we can go on holiday/get a new car/have a new kitchen' - not sure how you divide those things then.

Cinderellascarrieg · 06/12/2004 16:34

Joint account/credit cards for household etc. Both still have individual accounts from before marriage - we don't 'borrow' from each other as such, but if one of us has a lot of month left at the end of the money the other will bung a couple of £100 their way - balances out in the end.

Main reason we keep day to day accounts separate is to save arguments over his completely unnecessary & frivolous fritterings on Marshall amps & PS2 games, & my prudent & essential purchases of rare 2nd hand books & nice smelly things from Lush...Grin

Flumberrysauce · 06/12/2004 16:43

i think the thing is that even if the accounts are separate its still all really in the same pot. I suppose everyones relationship is the same. I guess with more kids or with lower incomes you have to keep a tighter rein on it and some people are just more interested in that sort of thing aren't they.

Every now and then if we want to do something or one of us wants to do something we ask the other one how much they've got in bank then we decide if its a good idea or too reckless. But come to think about it I don't know how much dp earns exactly never thought to ask. Its always been enough to top me up when I've asked or every week or so he says are you ok for money - do you need some. Will ask tonight. i wonder if he knows what I earn? bet he doesn't.

Mind you we haven't got a mortgage so we've never had to put the figures down on paper.

Elliott - I want to be like you when I grow up! When oh when will that be. i am the one on the Norwich Union advert that thinks they are 18.