wrongfully put on child protection plan help!!

[strugglingmummy2023]

Hi i've never done anything like this but have always turned to mumsnet for help in past,i need help or advice as i don't know what to do. i will explain my situation.... my 16 year old son and 1 yr old daughter was put on the child at risk register for neglect 2 weeks before Xmas started with malicious calls from baby's dads ex this is about the 3rd time in 4 years she done this (amongst other things , shes obsessed still but thats a whole other thread) anyway she has managed to manipulate family members into believing her lies so therefore they have backed her up with SS. at the meeting the HV kept saying that baby is doing great, very clever, no concerns etc but the didn't seem to care, the SW wasn't even there instead it was a duty SW who had a quick flick through our file before walking in the room,a man from L&Q housing was there and looked just as confused as us as to why he was there( SW did it to make sure he knew why she was involved cos i made her take out that part of a letter i asked her to write to support us moving, and she didn't like it i told her its allegations and she is now making people think im a junkie or something when im not and mud sticks etc and the housing have nothing to do with this) and a policewoman on zoom. i have a few mental health conditions and have struggled this year and was suicidal back in may time, but did everything right i called MHT but was totally failed by them i was home alone with baby( she was 10 moths old at time) and was asked will you be ok until morning and we will come out and assess you, so agreed, i then called every day for 2 weeks and no one ever returned my call, no visit ever (still to this day i haven seen anyone) anyway after 2 weeks of me calling every day crying out for help my mum called and complained and i finally got a call for an assessment. anyway cut it short for months i was calling to only be fobbed off or ignored, with support of partner and close family i have got myself better and doing ok without any professional help., my partner goes to drug meetings every week as he is an addict but is on a program and is clean etc, my 16 year old was being groomed early this yer by those county line drugs thing and was stopped n searched a few time and arrested once. i called SS for help told police everything we knew and nothing, no one helped SS turned up 3 months later saying oh you called us bla bla, so told them all sorted me and partner got him away from it all, his got a gf now and stays out of trouble (very proud of him), so back to the ex she has managed to convince some so called family and SS that my partner is emotionally and financially abusing me, his got me hooked on drugs, ive sold everything o pay for drugs, there is DV, the flat is a st hole never got gas or electric or food, i dont feed baby, i dont look after her and lay in bed all day, im borrowing money to pay for nappies cos im spending all my benefits on drugs (i work ) and i have severe mental health issues and im basically a danger to kids..... they voted to put 16yr old on at risk because his not in college ( he did try but was let down at last min so his enrolling for september) and he seeps at his gf quite a bit so that classed as neglect and they voted baby for a CIN plan, the man holding the meeting overruled them and put them both on at risk. his reasons was..... what if your MH deteriorates, what if partner relapses on drugs, maybe there is DV (none whatsoever and no proof), what if there is emotional and financial abuse ( again none whatsoever and no proof), what if you dont feed baby, what if shes not clothed properly etc etc , again untrue and the HV (who is the only one with regular contact) sat there and said baby is always clean, well dressed, weight ok, shes very cleaver and no concerns at all, she was basically ignored, i was accused of not engaging with MH team so i got out my diary with every phone call i made to them with time date and what was said etc and that there was no reply and they just basically said i could've made that all up its not proof, they said they very concerned 16 yr is going down wrong path and at risk of criminal activities told them that last time he was involved with police was march when no one was helping where was they then and now his not involved in any of that they wanna start bringing it up and making out his some gangster or something. basically everything they said i proved wrong and it was all basically well what ifs and maybes, i told them that thats not fair, there is no proof of any of it and they cant use my MH (that is very stable no thanks to MH team) as a reason to do this, i feel they made their minds up before we got there and all they kept doing was bringing up historic stuff when no one cared and we dealt with it all and now they wanna get involved, there is so much more to this and the SW is a blatant liar and ive requested a new one she has caused issues with me n son telling him private information about an incident with my MH about a year ago when she had absolutely no right to, it wasnt for her to decide to tell my 16 yr old son its something he didnt need to know and shouldn't have to deal with, she has told people the reasons she is involved when * i told her they are allegations, not fact there no proof etc so she has no right telling people that im on drugs etc. ive have offered to do a drug test and they accused me of not engaging with them cos i haven't done a drug test yet, and as i said to them, how can they say that when i haven't seen or heard from SW since i told her i would do one, how am i supposed to get a test when i dont now how to go about it surely she should arrange it, its not exactly something i have experience in and now the SW still hasn't sent me the minutes to the meeting ready for the 1st core meeting tomorrow and she has ignored me since22nd during our last conversation via text, as soon as i asked for them she stopped all communication so i have nothing to prepare with, sorry i hope that all makes sense i know ive gone on a bit but i want people to know the full story etc....do i have grounds to appeal this, for a duty SW turning up, housing officer having a vote (he even said he doesn't know us only spoke once on phone), the bloke overruled the vote, it was all what is and maybes and historical things etc i was ignored and we proved it was all lies and that its not the 1st time the ex has done this and other stuff that i have actually now got a police harassment case against her, we was just made to feel like terrible parents and the fact that i have worked so hard to gt myself well and to where i am today mentally etc compared to all those months ago meant nothing and didnt matter and when the HV sat there and said that we good parents and have a great bond with baby and that there no concerns etc, again ignored by them, i asked them where was all this so called concern and help when i was being mentally and physically abused 14 years ago by my ex,when i was in a place of desperation mentally and was sectioned when i finally got free from him, nothing and now they wanna come in and do this. and the 1st core meeting was yesterday after i was told i could postpone it but the SW who wasnt at the original meeting made it go ahead anyway even though im supposed to have a new SW and i would meet them at meeting and guess what,,, she was a no show again and only a stand in SW was there along with HV (zoom meeting) no new SW either. i told them i still had no copy of plan or minutes etc as still not had them sent and no one is responding to me and so no need for meeting to go ahead as it was i wasnt given any chance to prepare etc, and none of the right people was there ( the HV was a stand in too ) the SW kept talking over me saying well meeting is to go over plan n we need to do it and discuss and make sure we are doing what we supposed to again i said have no copy of plan so its all totally wrong and because i said i was leaving the meeting she has now put it down as a non attendance and a refusal to work with them please can someone give me some advise again im sorry for long post but it actually has done me good getting it all off my chest too. but im desperate for help surely they cant do any of this especially as it seems any tom dick or harry can make decisions and be at meetings that dont know us but are deciding about my kids and our lives etc thank you for reading and thankyou for any advise in advance

Too long, so I've just skimmed. Many of the things you've listed are easily proven false. If you're not hooked on drugs, prove it with a blood test. If you're engaging with mental health, get whichever worker you are seeing to write a letter to that effect or get in touch with the SW. Sold all your furniture - show them you have it all there during a home visit. If there is no cause for concern they will discharge you but they do need to investigate where the report was made.

Consult an experienced solicitor. They'll help you get the emotive things about the past out of the equation and actually advise you of what is legal and what isn't.

This sounds like a very stressful experience for you. I don’t know which local authority you live in but you should be able to find a copy of their child protection procedures on line eg www.proceduresonline.com/kentandmedway/chapters/p_ini_cp_conf.html#quorum

I would suggest looking at these for your area and checking if the processes have been followed. Firstly you, and any involved professionals, should have sight of the minutes and plan from the ICPC within 15 working days, this may not have passed yet due to Bank Hols? Then look at the minutes and consider quoracy and if an appropriate plan was agreed.

In all honesty the best you can do is politely challenge where process has not been followed and demonstrate that as a family you are meeting the requirements on the plan for the review child protection conference, which should be 12 weeks after the initial.

ive tried to show them all the proof that its not true, offered to do a drug test and because i havent done one yet they said im not engaging, but as i said to them i have no idea how to go about getting a test i thought they would arrange one but thy havent even after me asking, but only seen SW twice and 1 of those visits was for 5 mins, they looked all through my home and i proved i had food, gas electric, baby clothes etc etc, i feel like im just being ignored and nothing i show them to disprove it all seems to matter, im willing to work with them but they dont seem to be working with me

it is very stressful, the whole process is all over the place and no consistency and i feel we are doing all we can to cooperate etc but they are not doing the same, stand in professionals and lack of documents etc i understand that the allegations are serious and they have to make sure kids are safe too many kids fall through the cracks but we have proved that its all malicious we have statements from family and friends who are around us and kids. the HV told them that there are no concerns, i feel we are being ignored and tbh the SW seems like she has thrown her toys out the pram a i have called her out on few things and she doesnt like being wrong, this is my kids lives they are impacting and if they had proof fair enough but there is no proof and we have given evidence of that, i just think some poor child who is actually being neglected and needs help isnt getting it because they too focused on us, this couldve been resolved straight away if they arranged the drug test for me as it would be negative then they wouldve realised that its all malicious .

Could the 16yo do some voluntary work or do a distance learning course so they are less concerned about the NEET status? I would keep asking for support with your MH and keep offering to do a drug test. I’m sorry this must be incredibly stressful for you.

thank you i will try and find one a soon as they all re open. im just worried that it will make it worse getting legal advise they might take offence to it and make things harder for us

Apologies! Meant to write this on my own post not sure why it’s done this!

Lot to unpick here, and I cannot help with most of it, but:-

Regarding your 16 year old, your LA should have a policy for kids who are NEET (Not in Education, Employment or Training) with specific help. Google NEET in Warwickshire/Northamptonshire/Essex etc (fill in appropriate LA!)

Could also look for an apprenticeship. www.gov.uk/apply-apprenticeship

or phone your local college and see if there is a foundation course they could join.

In the meantime, if all else fails, perhaps some voluntary work and a free online course, like these www.open.edu/openlearn/ (completely free, certificate at the end and doesn't matter if you don't finish one if you don't like it).

Can also make a CV with help from Barclays Lifeskills barclayslifeskills.com/ (all free again)

and Youth Employment www.youthemployment.org.uk/

Good luck going forwards.

You don't need a solicitor for a CP Plan, ICPC or RCPC meetings are not an environment for solicitors or legal representatives. A solicitor won't change the outcomes in any way.

If you're unsure about anything, the SW will explain. In the conference the Chair can explain.

The best possible thing you can do to have the best chance of this being over quickly is to get a copy of the CP plan and follow it.

Try to let go of all of the blaming and anger you feel about the situation - these are not helping you. The only thing thus plan aims to do is to make sure your children's needs are prioritised all of thr time. That's surely what you want too? So therefore it should not be difficult to do.

I think that your eldest 16yo does sound vulnerable as he is not in education or work & has been groomed by county lines gangs.

So try to see it as support as he could end up with no college qualifications.

Your new partner being a former addict is also a concern & coupled with your MH issues could put a 1yo at risk. Would your partner be able to look after the baby alone in the event of you committing suicide?

Sorry if it sounds harsh - but social services are also there to support.

Where is father of 16yo? It sounds like 16yo could do with a mentor of sorts. Could you ask for this?

@OnemoresliceofChristmascake

Lots of good advice about getting into college and apprenticeships.

First thing I would do is go back through your post and write it all down factually and remove the emotion. Put it into a table. Date or month if date isn't known, what was happening, what you did and outcome.

Eg

… date x : called MHT due to extreme anxiety. Told to expect call in morning. No call so called again.

… date x called MHT as no correspondence after previous call as arranged. No call so called again.

… date x. SW visited as reports were made about me selling furniture for drugs. House was furnished on their visit and haven't yet received the minutes of this meeting to progress with this

… date x Called SS re DS being involved with county lines. Told to expect call within Y timeframe. No call reviewed so chased up.

… meeting with SW re accusations of drug taking. Offered a drugs test to prove this is a false allegation. No arrangement has been made by SS yet but chased on x dates.

Put it in chronological order.

I appreciate this has been a mammoth year regards everything that's gone on and I can see that in your post. But from someone who has been through fighting the authorities for support you need to focus purely on facts. Just what has been said, what you think, what you've done and what you will do it work with them.

Only repeat these state,ents over and over. Do not get dragged into he said and she said or long winded words.

The more you say - for example the more words you use - the more words you give them to argue and deny.

If you state facts and offer ways to get these facts proven they have no arguments. They have no proof either way and it won't stand up eventually.

And by having the table you can show you have tried, will try and want to continue trying to make things better. They will then see you will work with them.

You've already had some good advice here. The one thing I would stress is that above all else remain calm and cooperate. I know that will be incredibly difficult when you feel angry but as you've already seen, if you threaten to leave a meeting, raise your voice, come across as argumentative or not taking on board what they say, it will look bad for you and only increase their concern and what they see as risks. You have to do your best to stay calm, follow the plan and just get through it. Even when you feel let down by the workers within that system. They won't care that you're angry your new social worker hasn't been at a meeting yet, but they will care if it appears that you're not listening to their concerns. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but just be mindful that they need to see you are listening and can identify risks.

A previous poster was also correct in saying that they are there to help and I can see why there are concerns about your 16 year old - this isn't about bad parenting, this is about supporting a child who is at increased risk because he has now left education and is known to have been groomed previously. In his case, I can see why they are keen to ensure that he has support and is engaging positively in work or education. If he does go to college as planned then that's great and you won't have to worry but I do understand why they have concerns about him just now. Try not to see that as anything negative against you, it seems in this instance they are genuinely trying to prevent any risks to your son.

With the kindest respect you are focussing on the wrong things. Your DC's are at risk of significant harm. They should be on a cp plan.

This will give you the support you need.

Engage. Accept what's happened. Listen to the professionals and use the support offered.

Being suicidal whilst having care of a 10 month old is enough to have the child removed there and then. Only having a cp plan is actually a good thing. It obliges the council to support you to keep your DC's in your care.

Get rid of the addict DP.

You really need to work on your boundaries/ perceptions of what is a safe household for DC's if you think it's ok to expose an infant to someone with a high risk background. Does he really need to live with you? Focus on your DC's not a DP.

Your 16yo is high risk.

You are dealing with an awful lot. You have already said you need support. This is it. Take it. Ask for additional actions by the professionals to be added to the cp plan.

There are some awful SW out there. Some will see your non compliance as a reason to seek to remove your DC's. Don't become one of them.

Op as others have said- you need to take the anger out of it and keep things practical and factual. You don’t want your children to be removed so you need to cooperate with the local authority. No matter how unfair or frustrating it feels. Remember- you need to play the game. Be nice to the social workers. Don’t give them the opportunity to dislike you.

and as others have also said, getting help and support for your children would be a good thing.

I hope you’re feeling encouraged by some of the replies you’ve had.

As a social worker for sefton Borough and holding 2 degrees in social work, I can guarantee they didn't put you on CP without meeting threshold. I'm sorry OP but I've skimmed the message and got a brief idea of your post- if you think you're wrongly on a CP plan, please seek legal advise.

CP is when significant harm can be caused by what the parent is doing/failing to do or when the child is beyond parental control.

Before placing on a CP plan, you would have undergone a 45 day threshold CIN(child at risk/child in need plan) or a child and family assessment, you would have had chance to have that stepped down if there wasn't sufficient enough evidence of potential harm to the children.

You wouldn't have got placed on CP plan for "malicious calls".

Please, if you disagree with the decision then request a copy of the CP plan. You need to understand it.

As stated above..engage, accept all support available and be truthful. Aswell as becoming self aware.

The liklihood is your kids are going to be on this plan for at least the next 9 months as barely any families come off after 3 months. The best thing you can do is work with the plan and do what is required to keep the kids safe and having their needs met.

I'm sorry you're going through this but it does sound like things are chaotic and your dc at risk. Your partner is an addict, your son was/is caught up in drugs and you have significant mental health problems. Your baby needs safeguarding from all that and if you are unwell you aren't in a position to meet her needs and the other adult in her life is an addict and won't be able to meet her needs. I've had experience of useless and downright dangerous social workers and understand your frustration but your dc aren't under CP for no good reason. I wish you all the best and that 2023 is a better year for you all.

From the post I think it can only be a good thing for them to be involved to support you all. If you engage and work with them, it will be fine.

Sounds like your family would benefit from some help right now @strugglingmummy2023.

OP, please do not mess with social services. I know you're standing up for yourself but you're making yourself an issue and SS really want people to not be an issue.

There's no appeals process for this. Just do everything they say to the letter and keep a record of everything. You're not in a great position here even if most is untrue and they have every right to be concerned. Do everything they ask and swallow your pride.

some Of what brought them
to your door is untrue, but that doesn’t change the fact that your household has struggled. The fact that you have managed to pull things together and make good improvements recently is fantastic, but that doesn’t mean your children aren’t still at risk.

You are really the perfect person for social services to help make life better for your family. Someone who has life skills and can work hard to tackle an issue. Let them help you make things easier for your children. Let them help you make things easier for you. They can get you access to the programs you and your children need.