Hi everyone,
I have a question about my fathers behaviour, could you have a read and see what you think? (It’s going to sound very silly but I’m curious as to why it had annoyed me so much) - So my mum went out yesterday with her friend to the city and she organised my dads food for the day before she left. So she made him his breakfast, a tray of food with his lunch on it and snacks, and left his dinner on a plate in the fridge. The fact that she has went to all this effort alone annoys me as he is treated like a child - she treats him like this all the time even when she is in the house. So when it came to dinner time there was 2 tubs of Tupperware with food in them and a plate of food covered with cellophane. He called up the stairs to ask me ‘do you know which one I eat for my dinner?’ And I told him that I wasn’t sure and just to eat whatever he wanted. So it turns out he took something in the small Tupperware which was not even a made up meal, it was just plain pasta and a chicken breast left over from something different my mum was cooking earlier in the week. When my mum came home and found out he had had this for his tea she was very annoyed, and she said she had blatantly made up a place of food for him (which was sitting in the fridge with cellophane over it). Now I don’t know if this is just a complete breach of communication between my mum and dad, and he actually did want to eat what was in the Tupperware. But when you open the fridge and there is clearly a nice meal sitting there, or something half made up in the Tupperware why would you not eat the nice meal? Now he has acted like this in certain situations in the past. And I genuinely always thought it was a mental issue - like he genuinely did it to get on my mums nerves in a manipulative/narcissist way because she had left him for the day to be with her friend. Now if my mum hadn’t of made him any food and not laid his food out for him like a child he wouldn’t have ate anything all day because I’ve seen him do this before. And in my eyes I always thought he was ‘starving himself’ because my mum had left him for the day to be with a friend and this was a ‘manipulative way to get back at her.’ Does anyone see where I am coming from or have any opinions on this?
I have just only realised now that when I was little my parents were very strict - especially with food - almost micromanaged. So it looks like since I have grown up and am an adult myself now my dad has fallen into the kid role (someone she can look after). It really is ridiculous, he does absolutely nothing for himself.
I live with my parents at the moment (I’m 31) so it is difficult and this may have been why it has bothered me but all my life my dad has done little things like this and I have always believed he knew what he was doing. Anyway, just looking for some people opinions who have experience with this type of personality and if you know ways to see past it/let the frustration go. I must add that I used to get so unbelievably annoyed about situations like this but now I believe that if he wants to act like that just let him - but there is still some underlying feelings of anger. Thanks all!