My Mum could be quite ill... Bit of a hand-hold needed

[HihungryImMum]

A few weeks back my Mum was ill, Im not sure if it was covid or flu but I know whatever it was made its way from her system with a lot of rest. Since then she's had awful stomach issues - Vomiting and Diarrhoea. Its been so bad that she's had days where she just sits in the bathroom with a book. She has to go for a colonoscopy this Monday coming and the doctors have absolutely terrified her saying she might have cancer which in turn has terrified me.

I dont know what to do or how to feel, I have a good relationship with my Mum but talking to her about hard topics makes us both severely uncomfortable. I dont want to think of her not being around. It's too hard. I've trapped myself in the spare room and Im crying horribly as Im wrapping christmas presents for everyone. Ive taken a bit of a break to scroll Mumsnet and see what the world is up to, I thought I'd share my burdens to ease my load. My partner is in the living room with his son watching football while every so often sticking his head in and tentatively saying "Do you want a cuppa, love?" I'm ashamed to say that I snapped at him a few times but he hasn't taken offense

I dont know if this goes here or not, Im sorry if it doesn't

I just wanted to get this off my chest, I honestly want to curl up in bed and sleep until next weekend

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how worrying it is when a parent is potentially seriously ill. But it's only 'potentially'. And she's having a colonoscopy on Monday so that's great news in terms of speed of investigation/treatment. She'll know exactly what she's dealing with soon enough.

All you can do is to try and calm your mind and to keep as busy as possible. Try and be as comforting to your mum as possible in terms of keeping a cool head. Every time you feel those panicky emotions start to rise try and take some deep breaths. It's a cliché but they can help.

You'll get through this.

Best of luck to your mum.

I can imagine this is a really scary time for you. Try not to think the worst as worrying isn't going to change the outcome. Lots of deep breaths and a mantra such as 'we'll know when we know' when you feel yourself spiralling. Sending love x

Sending you best wishes. I hope things turn out ok. It does not have to be cancer. Take care.