Do I get xh a gift?

11 replies

moomina · 01/12/2004 18:50

Dilemma. Need wise MN help.

Xh and I separated earlier this year. We have managed to keep things reasonably amicable (most of the time) and so in the spirit of Xmas goodwill to all men, etc, I have invited him to spend Xmas Day with my family. Obviously I want him to see ds on Xmas Day, and I also don't like the thought of him being alone. He is from the US and has no family here, so it's a bit of a no-brainer, really.

BUT - do I get him a gift? He will be getting a present 'from ds to daddy', but should I get him soemthing too? It seems a bit tight not to - but after all, we are not together anymore (and tbh I don't want him getting the wrong idea, which he may). I don't like to think of him not getting any presents but at the same time...

What do you think?

OP posts:

codswallop · 01/12/2004 18:50

is he wanting to get backt o gether?

what about a nice photo of him and ds?

Original poster

moomina · 01/12/2004 18:52

Ummm, he would like to get back together but it is not going to happen. 'Tis a bit of a minefield.

OP posts:

cupcakes · 01/12/2004 18:53

Maybe something neutral, like food or similar, and not more than £10? How would you feel on the day? Bad because you hadn't got him anything or weird because you had? Which would be worse?
Maybe have a present wrapped and ready and give it if the atmosphere feels right.

pixiefish · 01/12/2004 19:24

I think that as you're getting him something from ds you can leave it at that if you want to-

NoMoomAtTheInn · 01/12/2004 19:33

I just feel really bad at the idea of him just getting one present at Xmas. (I know Xmas is about more than that but YKWIM.) His family in the US probably won't even send him a card.

CarrieG · 01/12/2004 19:36

Is there anything he'd definitely want that is totally unromantic? Sort of thing you'd get for brother/male platonic friend?

SantaandtheReindeer · 01/12/2004 19:52

I think it would be nice of you to get a small token present. I can't imagine that he would read anything into that.

tigermoth · 02/12/2004 06:53

What's the probability of him getting you something? If he is coming to yours for Christmas, then at a guess he's not going to arrive empty handed. It could be awkward if he gives you something and you have nothing to give him - especially if he feels a bit vulnerable already.

I think you should get him something neutral, but not too practical.

spook · 02/12/2004 08:48

I think you have to get him something TBH. There must be something he would like that has absolutely NO romantic connotations atall. Nose hair trimmer,jumper debobbler?
It is Christmas Day and you're right-just one present to open would be pretty awful and DS may notice that his daddys got nothing left to open?
So just something totally impersonal I think.

motherinfestivemood · 02/12/2004 09:07

Book token? So he doesn't get the idea you lingered for ages choosing a charmingly personalised gift?

(unless he's like me, and thinks a book token IS the best present you could get, of course )

Definitely NOT a nice bottle of wine.

NoMoomAtTheInn · 02/12/2004 22:20

LOL Spook at nose hair trimmer....not entirely inappropriate actually!

Well, he was round to see ds this evening and said he would definitely be coming on Xmas Day if it was still 'okay with everyone' (he had originally said he was undecided). We actually had quite a good chat and talked about how important this Xmas was going to be for ds, etc. Sooooo, I think it would only be right and proper to buy a small gift. Shame they don't do the Innovations catalogue anymore, eh?!

Flip