Helping DS settle in the UK

[Schylla40]

Greetings from the US! Moving to the UK end of this year. Me, DH and DS, who’s 14. DS has had a rough year - he’s sweet, very smart and funny, and he’s also an Aspie. He wants to make friends but doesn’t quite know how (he’s taking social skills classes at the moment). Really excited to move to the UK - he’ll be close to a cousin who’s just a year younger and they like to hang out. 

Does online school because the local school is way too crazy and loud (2 grades, 500 in each grade). Wants to attend regular school when we move. Any suggestions on how to help him settle in? What kind of reputation does SEN have? Apologies if I’m using the wrong terms. Thank you!

You might want to specify where you’re moving to - school systems are vastly different around the UK so you’re more likely to get relevant advice that way.

Definitely avoid terms like aspie in the UK. There is huge controversy around the term Asperger’s too, so I’d stick with ASD.

I would say have this moved or start a thread on one of the special needs boards. There is a lot of knowledge there.
Resources are very stretched in the Uk, lots of cuts. Definitely check your sons USA diagnosis will be accepted in the Uk and that you won’t need a new assessment done. And if any support is needed then contingency plans to pay for this privately may be necessary.
it will be lovely for him to spent more time with his cousin 🙂

Do you know which year group he will be in? Has he only just had his birthday (Sept/Oct/Nov) or has he been 14 for a while? If he is only just 14 then he will be in yr9 which is fairly busy but time to catch up. If he is going to be 15 before the end of August 2023 then he would be in yr10 and already starting GCSEs. I would see if you can get a school to move him down a year because the syllabus is fast paced at that stage and he might find it hard to catch up.

Sorry my advice is for England.

As @PandaOrLion said the term 'Aspie' is not one we generally use in the UK. It's a very outdated and considered inappropriate.
UK secondary schools can be large too. As they go from age 11 up to 18. There's 7 different year groups ("grades") in secondary so it can be a lot. The size he has found difficult (1000) can be quite normal here.
You need to approach any schools you hope he might be able to go to and talk to them individually about SEN. Some schools are great, some are useless.
Also the way you apply for a school place doesn't mean you can get the one you want. If they have no places you will be offered an alternative in the area covered by the Local Authority of that area and the school they offer may be miles away from where you live - sometimes not even in the same town.
Will he be going into Year 9 (American equivalent to 8th Grade) or Year 10 (9th Grade). Although that is English and Welsh year groups - Scotland and Northern Ireland are different.
Year 10 is the start of the 2 year GCSE exams and it's very hard to join in late.
Does his cousin already live here? If yes then you really need to get a lot of information about the UK school system for the cousins parents (presumably your sibling or in-laws).

Hi OP. Bit of background my daughter had Asd and is very high functioning so in the past would have had an aspergers diagnosis also my cousin who lives in the US has aspergers so I'm aware of some of the differences. Pps are right people don't tend to use the term aspergers here, younger people anyway. And as I'm sure they do in the states, schools vary hugely. My daughter is in a state school she's in what you would call 5th grade and is well supported in class and the school regularly review her needs. She has speech therapy and OT support through the NHS outside of school. Secondary schools vary from massive ones that your sone may struggle with to small private schools to everything in between. Some specialise in different areas, a friend of ours has a son with autism who attends a specialist science one that suits him fine. You will hear lots of horror stories but like anywhere there are good and bad places. When you know what area I'd do some research. The other difference from my understanding of my daughter vs my cousin is that the approach to medication here is very different as in my cousin was medicated for her asd very early on and I think that would be rare here. Just something to think about of that applies to your son. Any other was just ask

Wow - wasn't expecting so many responses so quickly!

Alrighty - will use ASD going forward.

Moving to Peterborough, where my SIL and her family live.

DS turned 14 in late August, so I suppose he'll be in Year 9.

Will be bringing all the psych evaluations that formally Dx'd him with ASD and ADHD. In the process of obtaining what we call an IEP (individual education plan).

As for his current local school, it's way too small, as the area has exploded in population so the school district hasn't caught up.

Also - will move this to the Special Needs section.

Thank you so much for your feedback so far, greatly appreciated!

I think he’ll be in year 10. He will miss the start of gcse content which might be a bit tricky but perhaps the school will support with this.

Also Op if he is a late august birthday it might make sense for him to move down a year if needed as age range wouldn't be much different (school year cut off is first of September) an iep in England is usually what the schools call an internal document so setting put what a child needs at school. If school need lots of extra funding for then he would need to apply for an EHCP education health care plan when u get here.

Yes although he should be in year 10 I would, under those circustances, push for him to be admitted into yr9. It is more flexible than it once was but do prepare to strongly advocate for him, especially as socially he might find it harder to adapt to a new setting. There are groups on Facebook if you search under summer born admissions. Although most will be discussing children starting primary, you will get a sense of the flexibility in Peterborough, it can vary considerably by area, and even school to school as to how easy it is to change year group.