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Any tips on how to handle an annoying neighbour situation?

28 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 15:39

I must first stress that we annoy them as much as they annoy us!
We only moved in three months ago and it has been a pain in the neck since.

It's a large converted Georgian house,split into two flats, they have the two lower floors, we have the two upper.

On our second day they knocked repeatedly on their ceiling when my DC's were doing nothing more than noisily playing. This was at 2pm.
They have continued to do this seemingly at random.

They leave their rubbish in the shared hallway, often overnight which means a huge stink whenever we open the door to go out. They also have a baby so this includes nasty nappy smells. This drives me crazy, the bins are just outside and we manage to take our rubbish all the way out even though we are two storeys above them!

They fill the hall with air freshening ornament thingys and at least three tims a day spray what seems like a whole aerosol of the stuff into the hall. It's not only a chokingly horrible smell, but DD has mild asthma so it's really not good.

They leave their (uncollapsed) pram in the hall at all times, sometimes dripping wet, yet on occasions where myself or our nanny have done so they have knocked on the door and told us it is an obstruction. (Once they even moved it onto the front porch where it stood for an hour before we realised)

I understand that perhaps the DC's are noisy, especially when they are charging around on the wooden floors. We also annoyed them by refusing to pay for the redecoration of the hallway, this seems fair to us as it was done just before we even bought the flat. We would of course shae costs in the future.

It may all seem petty but it is making our lives miserable at the moment. We are really pleased with the place but just wish they would move out! lol.

Can anyone advise us on what we should do to try and improve things for all of us?

OP posts:
Porpoise · 29/01/2008 15:41

Would it help to have them round for a coffee?

Maybe if they could see how nice you and your dc's are, they'd be a bit more tolerant?

Or do you think it's already gone too far for that?

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 15:42

Ps I know these kind of threads are ten a penny on here, so sorry.

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 15:43

We actually invited them round for dinner on our second weekend here, and they did the same, it was all pleasant but we clearly had little in common. These days they are barely friendly when I see them in passing.

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 15:46

It was quite amusing actually, they acted a little like they just wanted to nosy around and she made comments like 'oh well I see you have a lovely view from up here, but what a terrible shame your kitchen is so poky'.

OP posts:
bobsyouruncle · 29/01/2008 15:46

I think trying to make friends is an excellent idea too, otherwise things may only go downhill - and I speak from experience, we moved from our lovely flat partly because of the downstairs neighbours.

bobsyouruncle · 29/01/2008 15:47

Ah you've tried that then...

Porpoise · 29/01/2008 15:47

ah.. tricky then!

IME few parents of PFBs have the brainspace even to begin to understand what it's like to have older noisier kids.

What bugs you most? The rubbish in the hall or the pram shenanigans?

FioFio · 29/01/2008 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

brimfull · 29/01/2008 15:50

do you have rugs down to muffle the noise a bit?

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 15:58

Thanks
We have got rugs , yes.
I think I will start taking the rubbish out and they might have the common sense to stop doing it.

OP posts:
igglepiggles · 29/01/2008 16:01

if you take the rubbish out they ll think of u as a skivvy lol

let their tyres down

bosch · 29/01/2008 16:09

Is there a nice way that you can try to agree some ground rules with your neighbours? Maybe suggest that you meet in a cafe/park/playcentre (ie neutral territory) and give her/them chance to air their grievances. If you could sound super reasonable/understanding and suggest a few compromises - like when/where prams can be left in the hall, then you might be able to have your turn about what pisses you off?

Twiglett · 29/01/2008 16:14

ask them if they would like to meet up to iron out some shared difficulties

say that you are open to listing all the ways you feel you could improve on your relationship and you should each hand these over in advance so that you consider them and how you could respond to them

possibly get an independent mediator involved

you've really got nothing to lose have you?

hanaflower · 29/01/2008 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 16:20

hanaflower, lol, I think thats a bit of a myth.

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TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 16:22

Twiglet and Bosch
thanks, thats really sound advice. We're just going through a bit of a nightmare with our ex nanny so I have read up on mediation stuff.

We have posted letters to them, as they have done to us , but it hasn't worked.

OP posts:
nametaken · 29/01/2008 16:23

Yes, if they move your pram then move theirs and say the same thing to them "it was causing an obstruction".

Also, put your rubbish in the hall too. If they say anything ask why it's OK for them to do it but not you.

I hate double standards.

Porpoise · 29/01/2008 16:26

Agree with Twiglett and Bosch. Nothing to lose by trying to sort it out.
A lot to lose, IMO, by playing them at their own game - leaving your rubbish in hall etc. Seems a bit petty.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 16:30

I agree, plus we wouldn't want the hall to stink even more!

I wouldn't mind if they left the pram for an hour or two, we do the same as it's always a struggle to get children in, shoes off and shopping in etc so it's the last thing on your mind, but it seems to be there all the time.

OP posts:
Porpoise · 29/01/2008 16:33

OK, I think the rubbish thing is the most important one to get sorted.

In a few months, they'll have a smaller buggy or you'll be done with prams (don't know how old your dc's are) and the problem with resolve itself.

But the rubbish thing is going to go on, isn't it?

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 16:35

I think so too, or perhaps the air freshener business.
Don't they realise the hall wouldn't smell if it wasn't used as a bin?

They have on occasion put single nappy bags outside their front door. I just don't understand it.

OP posts:
Shitemum · 29/01/2008 16:37

Voodoo worked for me

twice over......

Porpoise · 29/01/2008 16:42

Well they obviously KNOW their rubbish stinks - or they wouldn't be getting it out of their flat.

That should give you something to work with...

(Where are the bins? Are they far away?)

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 29/01/2008 17:10

No we have a bunker sort of thing just outside the house with the bins in it. It's less than 5 metres from the front door. It must be sheer laziness.

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igglepiggles · 29/01/2008 17:43

our neighbours row all the time and mean up till 2 am they also have a young baby 6months approx but the noise is getting to the point of us looking to move. we had to call the police once cos we cud hear her screaming and him hitting her, a few weeks ago they was arguing and me n my dp went down and asked if they cud keep the noise down and or help but found that their lil one was screaming crying too. in the end we ended up having their little one upstairs wiv us and another neighbour called police again. my dp ended up having a smack in the eye after cos they thought it was us who called the police, the girl is really nice tho thats how their baby came upstairs wiv us. but its getting way too much now.

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