Hello, Advice please! It has recently come to light that my married sister has been having an affair with another married man off and on for a number of years. I thought my sister and I were close but this has come as a complete shock. I had no idea that her and my brother-in-law were even having problems, let alone that there was another man involved.
This all came out after the other man's wife found photos on an ipad. My sister has since confessed to me that after the affair initially began she deliberately enrolled at the gym that the other man's wife went to and set out to befriend her. They ended up training together and my sister basically said she got pleasure from trying to out-do this woman during their sessions. I am absolutely appalled by this. I'm far from perfect but the way she has acted so deceitfully over such a long period, and then to deliberately befriend the wife is in my opinion just shameful. Plus her whole attitude now is that she seems to be absolutely buzzing that she has 'won' over his wife! (His wife actually kicked him out so no idea if he would have actually chosen my sister if he'd had options!)
I am just feeling that I've completely lost my sister, that I really don't know who she is at all. I would never have believed her capable of this and have always thought that women who have affairs with married men are the worst kind of women! I'm not sure if I could trust her completely again.
My husband on the other hand is not surprised at all. He has long said that she is subtly quite jealous, manipulative and attention seeking. He says I haven't been able to see it because I look for the best in people and I love her but I'm now finding myself going back over things from the past and seeing them in a new light. E.g. she was a hairdresser but I had to start using someone else because she repeatedly cut my hair shorter than I wanted, when my husband and I made home improvements she was 'off' with me over a period of several months although never admitted it etc.
She is now asking to stay with us and I have agreed because she's my sister and I wouldn't see her with no where to go, but neither my husband or I feel particularly comfortable with it.
I suppose I'm looking for opinions or reassurance. Am I being too hard on her? I know we all make mistakes. Or should we not have someone in our home if we don't feel comfortable with it? Can our relationship move forward from this?
Thank you for reading x