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PLEASE HELP - am I mental?

7 replies

racoon123 · 21/09/2022 17:21

Hi,

No judgement please - I am after advice and support. I am in my mid 30's and have 2 children. I have drank alcohol since the age of 18; not frequently, once every couple of weeks on the weekends. Some of my booze filled nights over the years are a little blurry and I have drank a little too much alcohol on numerous occasions but nothing concerning or worrying. I have never craved alcohol or drank during the day or during the week and have only ever drank socially.

During the pandemic, I was unable to work. I drank more frequently during this time than I ever have before, maybe a once or twice per week. I must add that during the pandemic I lost a parent and also discovered that my husband of 15 years had been having an affair. It was a traumatic time in my life and I struggled mentally for many months. Despite this however, my drinking was never excessive and did not concern me.

Fast forward 12+ months and I am starting to worry about my drinking. I am not drinking on a frequent basis, maybe once or twice per month, but when I do drink alcohol I seem to be unable to stop, consuming far too much alcohol and waking up with memory loss and a terrible hangover. Not only this, most of these nights end in me being an emotional wreck, me starting arguments on my husband and/or me regretting things that I have said and feeling ashamed and embarrassed the day after I drink which is leading to 2-3 days of worry, anxiety and low mood. No matter how much I tell myself to drink less next time, I am ending up in the same position most times I drink, waking up and saying "oh nooo, not again!!"

I do not drink during the week or alone and never crave alcohol or feel that I need it. But when I do decide to have a drink socially, once I have 1 drink it's like a downward spiral - it always starts off fun and I'm enjoying myself and having a laugh, and then before I know it, I'm 6-7 drinks in and drunk!! Then I'm waking up in the same predicament, regretful and full of shame.

I never used to be like this - I used to be able to have a few and happily go home relatively sober. Now...it feels like when I drink, I never want the party to end and always end up taking it too far.

I suppose my question is, has anyone else found themselves in this situation?

Does anybody have any advice in relation to what is going on here?

I feel like there must be something wrong with me and I am starting to hate myself.

Am I mentally unstable and my emotions are just coming out when I'm drunk?

Just to note when I am sober, I do not suffer from anxiety or low mood, only when I am hungover and worrying about my drunken behaviour....

If anyone could offer advice/support I would be extremely grateful.

Thank you.

OP posts:
StopStreet · 21/09/2022 17:31

You just need to decide not to drink.
It used to make me behave terribly so I stopped. Nothing to do with alcoholism, just disinhibition.
You can do it. 😊

SparklingLime · 21/09/2022 17:35

Have a look at the threads on https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support

Can also report your post and get it moved to that section.

milkysmum · 21/09/2022 17:40

I'd also suggest getting some support on the alcohol threads, and if you can decide decide to stop drink. I made the decision to stop 8 months ago and am really pleased I did.

racoon123 · 21/09/2022 17:50

Thank you to all who have responded so far! For those who have said they decided to stop drinking for similar reasons - were there any underlying reasons that you feel contributed to your drunken states/were you struggling with any emotional issues at the time?

Thank you

OP posts:
StopStreet · 21/09/2022 18:05

I was struggling with mental issues very much, but they weren't hidden when I didn't drink, they were overt throughout.

racoon123 · 21/09/2022 18:11

@StopStreet thank you for your response! After reading it and reflecting, I think I maybe am suffering emotionally when I am sober but it all comes out when I'm drunk. Like I said in my post, I went through an extremely traumatic time during the pandemic - loosing a parent and discovering my husbands affair, both of which are thing that I get upset about when I'm drunk. I think I manage to keep a lid on it all when I am sober and have more control over my emotions when alcohol isn't involved.

OP posts:
StopStreet · 21/09/2022 18:21

That does make sense then. I'm sorry you went through these things. Maybe counselling/therapy would help?Then you would have a safe space to express these emotions without having to resort to drink in order to "let go".

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