ex has got a girlfriend - ADVICE PLEASE

[subs]

my dd's dad (shes 16 months - hes 38) has got a new girlfriend (we split in july - my decision)

actually its pretty great becuase (hopeflly) it means he will back off and give me some space

btu

1. i have said i dont think he should look after dd with this new (very new) girl

2. she is 23 and we split becuase he persists in acting like a 19 year old with no committments and an alcohol prob - am i reading too much into her age

3. i want a nice boyfreind - nothing serious, just some funtimes with a funny sweet man who understands i dont want a new dad for my dd, but gets that i cant get out often, and will come over with some wine and not be pissed off if she teething

I can't help but reading this I wondered ...
Would you say you are a nice person? Trustworthy? You were his girlfriend before, maybe his new girlfriend is as nice as you ??? (it's a question not a statement)

sure - dont know her, sure she is lovely - still dont think it right that my dd meets all his new girls til he is serious - think it seems incredibly unsettling for her

not judging her at all - just wonder about his motives in picking someone 15 yhears younger than him and who is effectively one of his emplpyees - he is a chef, and he a waiter

That's the thing.... new relationships will always unsettle a child.
It's not because you have sepcific views on what you want out of your next relationship that your ex has to share these feelings or wishes for his next girlfriends... IYSWIM...
Not defending him one iota BTW - just raising questions for sake of argument

sure - hear what you saying and of course he doesnt have to have same wants as me, but i not having my daughter passedround from girlfrind to girlfriend as he shags his way through his waitresses - he onyl sees her one day a week (all he can be bothered to do) and until he serious, i not having her confused - surely this not unreasonable... i wouldnt dream of having my daughter meet someone new until i was seriusly serious

Have you told him this ? Saying you are not against him introducing a girlfriend to your dd but preferably when he knows the relationship is a tad more ling term/serious as you too would not introduce DD to a new boyfriend for fear of confusing her.