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Hate thinking we shouldnt have moved

17 replies

stretchyawn · 19/09/2022 14:05

So this is my first ever post. I'm at my wits end with feelings of anxiety. we sold our new build, all done house. it was too small, I didn't like the idea of staying there forever and so i piped up during the pandemic saying i wanted to move to the country. i wanted to make a change that was in time for the kids and secondary schools, embedding enough to make friends in primary etc. the timing i think we got right but the house isn't. We couldn't get into the exact area and so are in the next village. We were supposed to be moving to the village and had schools lined up in that village but then at the last minute the house fell through. the kids are in school in that village but we now live in the next village. we bought a make do house that cost less money, needs lots doing to it and well I'm worried and wracked with guilt that everyone hates it and its all my fault for not thinking it through properly. Plus the worry that we are in negative equity. I hate thinking that we should have stayed where we were. i really hate it. The kids have made fronds and well computers mean they can still play with old friends. we are only 25 min drive away from old friends and 7 minute drive from original village. We have a plan to do up the house, borrow more money (which is what we should have done all along) and get the house in the village we want but oh well hindsight is wonderful. i just wish i wasn't so anxious about things and could think things through properly with a level head. Anyone ever been on the same boat.

OP posts:
Doingprettywellthanks · 19/09/2022 14:10

I’m really confused!

how far are you from their new school?

Doingprettywellthanks · 19/09/2022 14:12

Why did you move them from their school when the desired village was less than 20 min drive away and only 25 mins from the further away village? How old are they?

Doingprettywellthanks · 19/09/2022 14:14

And does your partner also feel like this?

carefullycourageous · 19/09/2022 14:17

You made a move with the best interests of your family at heart. Your kids will now feed into the secondary of your choice and so you have options - either stay in this house or do it up to sell and move again without disrupting secondary.

I can see why you feel worried but personally I think moving is often like that. I've recently moved to an area I like leaving behind a house I hated and have still cried about wanting to go back Confused

Give it a little time.

KalaniM · 19/09/2022 14:21

Can you take something for the anxiety? Something simple like ashwaganda or reishi? And lots of chamomile lemon balm tea.
because you’re all ok, you are all doing fine, you jut have tweakments to make. Your head is doing you in, but if your head could calm down, you can tell this us a hiccough, tedious probably, but no good stressing your mind and body over.
hindsight isn’t really our friend, is it!

stretchyawn · 19/09/2022 14:39

Sorry, i may have not been clear. one of my children is at a local secondary, the other child is in a school, 7 min drive to next village which was the original plan.

OP posts:
Doingprettywellthanks · 19/09/2022 14:40

stretchyawn · 19/09/2022 14:39

Sorry, i may have not been clear. one of my children is at a local secondary, the other child is in a school, 7 min drive to next village which was the original plan.

These distances are all very close op! I imagined you were talking hours apart.

Did they want to move? Did you consider them getting the bus for a really very short distance? And your partner’s thoughts?

Hawkins001 · 19/09/2022 14:41

All the best and positivity op

stretchyawn · 19/09/2022 14:42

yes, youre right. ive made an appt to see the doctor to talk about anxiety. teaks indeed.

OP posts:
stretchyawn · 19/09/2022 14:43

yes, thanks youre right. in the long run it is better, just not the right house i guess. its week 3.......

OP posts:
stretchyawn · 19/09/2022 14:44

everyone was up for moving. I don't think we really imagined how much of a shock it would be. if the house was done it wouldn't be so bad.

OP posts:
NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 19/09/2022 14:44

I think most people feel a bit like this when they first move. I did, took about a year to feel 'settled' and make new friends but still here 11 years later. It will work out and if it doesn't, then you address one issue at a time. Give yourself a bit of time.

Sooverthisnow · 19/09/2022 14:45

II’ve moved 7 times in the course of my life. My rule of thumb is it takes 18months to settle in anywhere. Week 3 is very, very early days OP.

Theworldisfullofgs · 19/09/2022 14:49

We moved ftom the country from Liondon 20 years ago. It took me six months to feel vaguely settled and then 2 years to really settle.
I know wouldcreally struggle to move back.

Give ir some time. Its v early days.

P.s. our house is still a work in progress

stretchyawn · 19/09/2022 15:00

thanks everyone, needed words and support. x

OP posts:
MintJulia · 19/09/2022 15:14

Seven minutes from the originally intended village is nothing. By the time your children are 8 or 9 they'll be happily cycling to school or off to see their mates. I'm seven minutes drive from our local pub but we usually walk there.

Things work differently in rural areas. I think you still need to adapt which will take a little more time than 3 weeks. It'll be fine, just forget buyers guilt and focus on the renovations.

Theworldisfullofgs · 19/09/2022 18:42

Theworldisfullofgs · 19/09/2022 14:49

We moved ftom the country from Liondon 20 years ago. It took me six months to feel vaguely settled and then 2 years to really settle.
I know wouldcreally struggle to move back.

Give ir some time. Its v early days.

P.s. our house is still a work in progress

Sigh

To the country from London!

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