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almost 5 year gap between your children?

17 replies

hotHELL · 23/01/2008 12:44

how does it work? do you find it difficult to do activities together? does your first born relate to the baby? I am beginning to panick now, as all my friends had short gaps and say how it is better as the kids play together, etc. Tell me your positive stories. I am pregnant now and new baby should arrive late summer....

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pagwatch · 23/01/2008 12:48

When DD was born Ds1 was 10 and DS2 was 6.
It works fine. the two older ones were smitten as soon as she arrived and play with her constantly. When DD gets home from school ( now aged 5) she can't wait for her brothers to get home and they play together (DS2 slightly more solitary as he has SN).
They don't compete for the same attention and the age gap is big enough thet the big boys find her cute and amusing rather than annoying. They are grown up enough to share my attention and be patient with her.
they all get on extremely well. Ds1 now takes her to the park and babysits.
its fab

mellowma · 23/01/2008 12:51

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southeastastra · 23/01/2008 12:52

i have an 8 year gap, i planned it so the older one could babysit the little one. whilst i get a life.

OrmIrian · 23/01/2008 12:56

My eldest is 6yrs old than my youngest but there are 4 years between the middle child and the baby. When he was tiny it wasn't a problem - they just took him or left him really. In fact the oldest was more fond of him than my DD. Now it's more difficult as he's 4 and wanting to play with them all the time - which is OK sometimes but often annoys them which I can quite understand. Both of the older 2 are very very good at taking care of when need be and are generally very protective of him. If I tell 4yr old off they get cross with me.

monkeybutler · 23/01/2008 12:57

Sounds blood sensible to me. I have an 18 month gap and they dont pla togethe they fight like cat and dog. I had 2 in nappies for a year and no affordable/free childcare for 2 years. Now they are 4 and 3 and things are better but if I did it again 5 years would be my MINIMUM gap!. Congratulations on your excellent planning!

VictorianSqualor · 23/01/2008 13:00

I have a four year gap, a seven year old DD and a 3year old DS, am now pregnat with thrid so there will be an alsmot four year gap again.

It works great, Dd is old enough to understand DS is the way he is because of his age, and DS thinks his big sister is the bees knees so will play any game she tells him to.

Lilymaid · 23/01/2008 13:02

I have a 4.4 year gap between DSs. I'm sure that there was less fighting than there would have been if they were 2 years apart. It didn't seem to prevent either being able to do what they wanted. Now DS1 will "babysit" DS2 by having him to stay in his university house whilst we can go away for a weekend!

EzrasMummy · 23/01/2008 13:41

I have a 6 and a half year gap with my kids. Its so easy! My son loves his sister and watches her for me, even feeds her! he loves it and i get to enjoy the both of them. I get my sleep and take things easy. Im working full time and i still dont feel too shattered. My son plays with her, reads to her, keeps me company when i bath her.

When i come from work ive even found them sprawled on my bed together while my boy is reading to her and she's gurgling and stroking his face! its wonderful

If i have another, it will be in at least 4 years. i love it!

FioFio · 23/01/2008 13:42

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monkeybutler · 23/01/2008 14:06

EzrasMummy - I am SO jealous!!!

hotHELL · 24/01/2008 09:53

nice, it all sounds positive!

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EzrasMummy · 25/01/2008 12:51

Monkeybutler. I gotta give you props. Anyone with kids with an age gap like yours, is a supermum! my sis has kids about 2 yrs apart and they fight all the time, just like i did with my sis (we're twins). It must be hard work but i think when theyre older theyll be able to confide in eachother etc. There are pros and cons to both sides but i have nothing but admiration and respect for those who have their kids close together! Well done!

jeremyspants · 25/01/2008 13:37

14 year gap between ds1 and dd. 11 year gap between dd and ds2. It works well.

jura · 25/01/2008 13:47

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hewlettsdaughter · 25/01/2008 13:50

My ds was about 4 and a half when dd was born - he was just starting school half-time. When he was with me he was a great help (especially as I was having difficulties getting breastfeeding established - he would fetch breastpads etc!)

hewlettsdaughter · 25/01/2008 13:51

PS Now they are older (8 and 3) they are fine too - they sometimes fight, but don't all kids?

Lulumama · 25/01/2008 13:52

almost 6 years between my two

some jealousy issues, after all DS had been an only child and the centre of our world for a long time ! but it is easier to explain things to a 6 year old and give them special time and treats too

there were some sticky patches when she was a new born, and every time i fed, he complained he was getting no attention and i loved the baby more than him. and when she was going through a horribly demanding stage and i had no time or energy left to give, he felt bad . but on the whole, it has worked out really well, and it has been great for us

now they are 8.4 and 2.6 and play together really well, have done for about a year, once she was mobile and a bit more interesting...

she adores him, absolutely worships him... and he basks in her adulation

they do argue, but always make it up

he is desperate for her to go into a bed, so she can sleep in his spare bed in his room!

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