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How do I go about having a new “brother”

1 reply

Jrcx · 07/09/2022 13:14

  • So basically, My dad has me and an older son. now The older son has other siblings from his mother one of which is 28 the same age as me. Since I’ve been young I’ve always heard that people think he looks like my dad and that he could be my dads son but there was also another potential dad that he grew up with. My grandparents and dad went down the route of a DNA test many years ago but the mom refused as she said it is his child. So to me I’ve always looked at him as my brothers’ brother. Cut the story to now. A dna test got done by the potential son and his new partner as they was starting their own family and wanted his son to have grandparent in his life (his mother passed away a few years back) The dna results came back that he is my dads son. My dad was gobsmacked but still went on to try and form some kind of relationship with him and he really did try but it’s kind of dwindled out by both parties.

I’m in a really awkward position as I don’t know how to go about this all. He and his partner had a christening for their son and I was planning on going until I realised I would be on my on as my dad went to the church only and I couldn’t make that so I didn’t end up going, I did reach out to him after that and the response I got back was blunt. I hear little things from a cousin of mine who hangs around with him and his partner that he would like some form of relationship with me but it doesn’t feel that way and I don’t know what I am supposed to do it’s just as awkward for me as it is for everyone else.
Do I try harder or is it too far gone

OP posts:
zoopigi · 07/09/2022 13:28

I know this is hard, but the only thing you have to think about is if YOU want a relationship with this man.
I know it is difficult to welcome a new sibling with open arms especially when you did not grow up together.
Thanks to a DNA test bought on a whim to see what our ethnic backgrounds are, my husband last year discovered a 50 year old sister he never knew he had-product of his dad having an affair.
It was a huge shock to us all, but the siblings and father all have met the new sister now, and have a tentative relationship.
The thing is, because you haven't grown up together, you have no mutual foundation so things have to go slow and steady, and you both have to make an effort to get to know the other person.
Good luck!

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