Have any mumsnetters adopted? Can you help please?

[cellulitequeen]

A very close friend of mine has recently come to terms with the fact that she will never have children of her own (she and DH are in early 40s and have had several unsuccessful attempts at IVF). They are now thinking about adoption but know nothing about the process and what it entails. It would be great if I could give her some information straight from the horse's mouth so to speak. If anyone could tell me how you go about it, how long it takes (if you are successful), and what the most difficult parts of the process etc etc I would be really grateful. TIA, CQ.

ps Thanks stickynote, I meant to post subject afterwards but stupidly forgot. Many thanks.

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My sister has just adopted a boy. It took about 18months or so. It certainly wasnt easy and was veryu soul searching.

issymum has

Hi, current foster carer and propsective adopter speaking!

There's a long old discussion going on in Parenting / A long question about adoption
Don't know how to post thread - but hope this points you in right direction.

Basically, in a nutshell. Adoption involves:
Contacting an agency (either your social services or a private agency like NCH or Barnardos) who will send you details of their precise process
Attending preparation groups to get the lowdown
Choosing to continue via a lengthy assessment, taking less than 6 months according to guidelines. This can feel quite intrusive but is designed to find out as much about what you can offer to best match you with a child / children
This assessment goes to a panel to be agreed.
You will then begin the wait to be matched to a child / children. This is as long as a piece of string! Depends on what you're offering. Non white adopters are like golddust so any non white / non british heritage is an bonus to be played up! Also, wanting a sibling group will open up a lot more possibilities. Or indeed having the ability to care for a child with additional needs.

You friends will need to be aware that it is a life long commitment, requiring what is often referred to as 'parenting plus'. These children often have traumatic childhoods with repurcussions, often have complicated family ties, and may need extra support when older and trying to search for more background on themsleves.

Tons more info on... www.baaf.co.uk/

There's also quite a few threads around intercountry adoption / transracial adoption.

If I can help any more do shout!!

Many thanks peskykids for that. Much appreciated.