Why do I always get so tongue-tied???

[Chasingclouds100]

Hi, Today I bumped into someone in a coffee shop, just someone from my local community that I know just to say hi in passing. She began chatting to me about my DC and I got really tongue-tied and I answered back a load of incoherent rubbish that made no sense whatsoever. She must have thought I was such an idiot and I could see it on her face. I was so embarrassed with myself. This happens a lot with people I don’t know very well - I just don’t know what to say and end up talking rubbish and stumbling over my words. I do suffer with anxiety and I don’t think that helps. I just wish I was more confident and good with people, I really hate who I am sometimes. Anybody got any advice on how to be more confident?

Please don’t be so hard on yourself! Maybe she noticed you were slightly flustered, maybe not but she definitely won’t have thought about it for very long at all. This happens me too, less often as I get older though, I think it’s a mild form of social anxiety. It’s worse if I’m caught off guard and wasn’t expecting to have to do social chit chat. I find it helps if I can ask the other person more about themselves/express interest in something about them that takes the conversational spotlight off me. But please please don’t hate yourself for being sensitive and struggling with some anxiety

Schmordle - thank you for replying. Yes I think that is what happened today - I was caught off guard and wasn’t expecting to have to talk to anyone. I’m 45 and feel like a small child sometimes!

It happens to me a lot, words get mixed up. I we need more naps.

It’s worse if I’m caught off guard and wasn’t expecting to have to do social chit chat.

This is also me! I’m a very confident person and find it easy to talk to people however I’m often thrown off when there’s an unexpected conversation happening. I’m the same as you OP. Sometimes I get so flustered and feel myself getting a bit hot because I know I’m not making sense.

I’m the sort of person that needs to think about what I need to say before I say it so I think that’s why I often get tongue tied. I don’t know what the hell to say!