Is Father Christmas a lie?

[MumtoLaura]

I feel uncomfortable talking to DD (soon to be 3) about Father Christmas, I'm honest with her about everything else and it feels like I'm lying. Does anybody else feel like this?

Not me.

there was a thread about this a couple of days ago MtL

nope and it seems to be an excellent behaviour modification technique (only just started using it in the last day) ATM too

No, but dd1 came home the other day and explained that FC doesn't exist

Spacemonkey - I can't find it - Can you link to it please?
Thanks

According to my ds's 7 year old friend whom he is playing with right now - yes he's a lie - his parents told him and his sister that there's no such thing.

here's the thread

The way in which we teach our children about the big wide world I have heard referred to as "lies to children". For instance. We don't tell a 2 yr old that stars are enormous burning balls of hydrogen steadily condensing into bigger elements? No - we tell them that they are twinkly lights in the sky. It is a system of learning that has been going on for generations and it works on the understanding that children are quite capable of accepting certain information at certain ages.

As small children they don't need all the complexities of life ahead, so we teach them child like versions that they can get their heads around, and part of being a young child is developing their imaginations. It's incredibly important. Telling the Father Christmas story is no different (IMO) than telling them stories about frogs that turn into princes, that the big bad wolf can eat red riding hood and grandma, and they will still be OK and that everyone will always live happily ever after.

Childhood imagination is a beautiful and fleeting thing. They grow up pretty rapidly in this day and age anyway so to nurture another "story" which is part and parcel of traditions the world over seems to me OK.

It seems a very modern phenomenon to start questioning father christmas. We all grew up with it, and we're all OK - I should imagine any of us with deep seated problems about life can't really be blaming it on whether we believed in Santa once upon a time?

Oh FGS, not again.

What is wrong with Father Christmas? What the hell is wrong with being a child and enjoying the 'magic' while you can?

I wish everyone would get a grip over this.

Very astute, catbert - and reassuring

well said Catbert! Xmas with a Father Xmas 'fantasy' is great, and it would be a shame to miss that. It's exciting and doesn't do any harm, unless you use it as a bribe technique all year long......

Totally agree Catbert. I'm going to tell dd the story about Father Christmas in the same way that I tell her stories about frogs and princes. And when we're out if we see a Father Christmas, I'll say oh look, Father Christmas, like in the story. And if she's scared, I'll make sure she knows its only a man dressed up. And as she gets bigger, if she wants to know where her presents come from, I'll explain that Mummy bought them but we're pretending they're from Santa because its fun. And if she ever asks if he's real, I'll say, no, he's only a story, and I'll ask if she'd like to be in the story today - would she like to be a reindeer or an elf?

Children are quite capable of enjoying the magic of stories, and half-believing them, without having adults insist that they are literally true.

My older ones know that the Father Christmases they see around shops, school parties etc are not the real FC. Gradually, their belief in FC starts to slide and I think it is wonderful the way they still try to believe in the main concept while letting the obvious anomalies slip. I eventually worked out that FC couldn't come down the chimney because ours was too narrow for a man (especially a fatty like FC) so I reasoned that bit was just a story and really he knocked at the front door like any other person. I wasn't disappointed to find out the whole thing was a story - the presents kept coming until I was about 13. Actually I admire the way my M&D kept up the pretence: showing surprise and puzzlement at toys they had already seen and chosen for me. I am not half so good at it. I keep letting slip little comments which would reveal I bought the toys if only my children were alert enough to listen!

Catbert - the voice of reason - hats off to you.

what do you mean, Father Christmas is a lie? He is real

My favorite part of the season is the "magical" part really. I plan to delude ds for as long as possible!

I said my piece loud and long on another thread about 2 years ago, and can't be arsed to have the whole argument again (so will try not to open this and get sucked in again, I haven't got time!) but yes, I think he's a lie.

I can remember trying to stay awake at night to see or here him long after I realised that all the presents came from Mum and Dad. They used to keep them all wrapped on top of the wardrobe so it was quite obvious.

But I just wanted to to be sure.

Oh and this year I'm going to stand in the garden just after the boys have gone to bed and jingle the sleigh bells that are Ds3's toy box. That's what I always wanted to hear.

It is a lie I suppose but hardly something that's going to ruin them forever and a day.

It is a lie but I dont think its one that you shouldnt tell.
I remember being so excited on Christmas Eve I thought I would burst...I would like my kids to feel like that too.
I think its better for them to believe than to feel smug that they know different and potentially ruin other peoples magical thoughts.
Its a good lie becuase for all the older children that do know theres a small few that do go onto tell everyone that hes not real, so they must have enjoyed the thought of FC so much they dont want to ruin it for anyone else...whereas you tell a 4 year old your off to Argos to buy his pressies as FC isnt real and he'll tell the world without a second thought not realising what hes doing.