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Original poster

Maternity leave-what would you do differently 2nd time around?

10 replies

welshmum · 26/11/2004 13:41

What would you do differently if you had maternity leave all over again? With dd I was so strict with myself - even felt bad if I listened to the radio while breastfeeding and I never watched the TV. I think I made myself pretty angst ridden and unhappy and I really didn't enjoy it. Any tips for making a better go of it this time round?

OP posts:

bakedpotato · 26/11/2004 13:57

how interesting, WM! can i ask, why did you feel bad about listening to the radio/watching telly while feeding? i'd have gone mad(der than I already was, and that was plenty) without those twin diversions. did you feel you owed it to the baby to concentrate fully on the feed?

me, i'm not going to be such a slave to naps. i became, frankly, obsessive with dd's napping, mostly because the few times i experimented with busting the routine, she instantly turned into the world's most beastly baby. i remember being hugely daring and taking her out in the buggy to the Heath at lunchtime one glorious summer's day and she started to scream at EXACTLY the moment she usually went to bed in her cot. she screamed and screamed for the 3 or so miles home (i ran the whole way).

so pray god no 2 isn't quite so exacting i'm going to get him/her used to sleeping in the buggy, and try to have more of a life myself

well, that's the hope anyway

Original poster

welshmum · 26/11/2004 15:39

I read something somewhere that said you should concentrate completely on the baby and dd had such a rough start (back in neo natal at 5 days) that I think I felt I had to do everything by the book - it made me a very anxious parent. I was a slave to naps too and somehow ended up with this baby who would only sleep during the day if she was being wheeled around. It meant I had to go for long walks even if I was totally knackered and couldn't sleep when she slept.
When's number 2 due? (I think you live quite near me - not that I'm stalking you) Mine's due in June.

OP posts:

bakedpotato · 26/11/2004 18:08

oh wow, that must have been so tough.

but WM, we sound like we need to swap napping expertise!

mine's due very end of Jan. dd will be 3.3. yours?

there's so much i hope to do differently this time. basically i hope not to go quite so bonkers. i too felt 'angst-ridden and unhappy and... didn't enjoy it'. i feel jealous of people who had/seemed to have heavenly times.

SamN · 26/11/2004 22:18

Well, I'm still on my second maternity leave and I've spent a lot of it moving house (which I don't recommend). Mat leave with a toddler is so completely different to the first time round, I hardly have time to think about what I'd like to do!

But good things that I did before ds2 was born were antenatal yoga classes, napping in the day whenever possible and taking more time off before the birth rather than leaving it as close as possible.

Kaz33 · 26/11/2004 22:23

THe month before DS2 was born when I was on maternity leave was bliss - I went to the cinema in the afternoon, massages at the gym, enjoyed so much because i knew that it was my time and I was getting paid for it..

janeybops · 26/11/2004 22:27

I was also completely stressed and a little bonkers with dd1.

I have had my second maternity leave and have been much more flexible and relaxed about nap times. It is alos true that you don't really have time for worrying etc with another child in the house. Enjoyed number 2 much more. Have fun.....

whizzz · 26/11/2004 22:29

Not gone back to work ...... !

(sorry its been a bad week / month / quarter !)

Linnet · 26/11/2004 22:31

I started my maternity leave as late as possible this time around so that I could have more time with dd2 after she was born. Unlike the first time when I finished 5 weeks before due date and then dd1 made her appearance nearly 2 weeks late, waste of time off I felt.

Other than starting leave later I can't think what I've done differently. I've had a lot more time with dd2, played with her more, got her into a fairly good routine something I didn't manage with dd1 as I had so little time at home with her. I had big plans that I was going to declutter the house etc but I go back to work in 2 weeks time and I've still not done that but I've enjoyed my time with my baby more as I've been home with her longer, unlike the first time when I had to go back to work when dd1 was 10 weeks old.

milklady · 26/11/2004 23:56

Hire a cleaner to stop me worrying about the state of the house and not having any time to clean it

Original poster

welshmum · 27/11/2004 08:27

Baked potato mine is due at the beginning of June when my dd will be 3.3 too. I really want to try to have a better time this time round. I just keep thinking I must have learned something! But I suspect I'll just go back to how I did things the first time round because we all did get through in one piece. I guess I'm just not that good with babies/leaving work/not sleeping etc

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