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Would you or wouldn't you make a comment?

9 replies

mumofhelen · 18/01/2008 13:23

An acquaintance/friend contacted me about her dd. She was ill and had to stay overnight at A&E. She was very ill. High temperature, vomiting etc. She phoned me to make sure my ds is OK, which he is.

She said the doctor thought it could be gastric 'flu but wasn't sure.

I've had concerns about her place. We both live on smallholdings and have animals. However, how we keep the animals differ. Our family do not allow any animals in the house (other than fish in the bowl). Even the dogs stay outside. We have a buffer zone between the farm bit and the house. The buffer zone includes the vehicles we drive off farm and the garden. The vehicles that are used on the smallholding are kept in the farm yard bit. The vehicles which we drive onto the main roads, we strictly keep off the farm bit.

My friend on the other hand doesn't. Pigs roam in and out of the house, as do all the other animals. Nothing is separated. So for example, when I come down to visit her, my off-farm vehicle ends up covered in pig shit as we drive into her yard. We then have to walk through pig shit to get to the front door and then we are expected to keep our shoes on throughout the house. If we lived in the Mediterranean, in a warm dry climate, it wouldn't be so bad. But we don't. We both live in the north of England which is currently very wet. It hasn't stop raining for days.

This friend/acquaintance has a wealthy and powerful father (allegedly freemason) and although doesn't live locally, I'm afraid to say anything to her in case she turns against me. I don't want trouble with freemasons if her father is one.

On the other hand, her living arrangements are only just on the good side of unacceptable and now that her dd is in hospital, I'm tempted to say something.

What would you do? Shut up and or say something? If I say something, how can I word it so she doesn't take offence?

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 18/01/2008 13:25

I wouldn't go to her house.

What is being a freemason got to do with anything?

You don't know the child was ill because of how they live their lives.

Had you recently visited? Was that why she rang to check on your child?

2sugarsagain · 18/01/2008 13:27

I don't understand the correlation either. Sorry.

rantinghousewife · 18/01/2008 13:28

I'm a bit about why you'd want to say anything about it at all to her.
Her dd's been seriously ill and you'd like to suggest to her that it may be her fault? Because that is what it sounds like to me and that is what it will sound like to her, too.
Keep Schtumm.

K20 · 18/01/2008 13:28

lol nor do I

mumblechum · 18/01/2008 13:29

Eew, pigs in the house?

Agree, if it's that filthy I'd be inclined to meet up at your house or on neutral ground.

I also don't get the freemason bit. They're mostly bank managers/estate agents so far as I know, not hitmen? Tho' I believe in France freemasons are something else altogether.

Brangelina · 18/01/2008 13:30

I'd keep quiet, you'd be practically telling her she lives in a pig sty. TBH unless there's pig shit on the dinner plates and in the food I don't see how the animals can be responsible. FWIW I grew up with a lot of animals in a tropical climate and was virtually never sick. Isn't there a study that says exposure to animals strengthens a child's immune system and makes them less likely to get allergies, asthma etc.?

Also, how do you know it isn't a bug that's going around?

I do think you're being presumptious I'm afraid.

Rantmum · 18/01/2008 13:32

Sorry, mumof, your OP sounds like it came out of the plot of a bad novel,

"This friend/acquaintance has a wealthy and powerful father"

If her daughter has a virus, it is more likely that she picked up from a human. If you don't like her standards of hygiene, then don't go to her house.

tissy · 18/01/2008 13:34

IF the child has something (god forbid) like E.coli, then it will be appropriately investigated, by relevant trained professionals, and IF her lifestyle has been implicated she will be asked to make adjustments.

I'm amazed that you immediately leap to the conclusion that the illness must be caused by her lifestyle! What about all the viruses that are going about at the moment? They don't depend on whether you have pigs in the house.

If you don't like her, or think her house is unhealthy for you, just don't visit.

mumofhelen · 18/01/2008 13:43

The freemason bit is based that if you insult, comment or whatever on one, you do it to them all, and they are known around here to gang up on you.

I know that there are many virus around. But, believe me, I'm not making it up. I went round there last Sunday. I'll keep my mouth shut and won't say anything else, and stay out of her place.

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