Loss of parent at an early age

[been and done it.]

I lost my DM when I was 14 months old..eventually brought up by my dad and maternal grandmother neither cared much for the other and it was a difficult life for all of us. I never knew my mum but missed her all my life in fact am in tears now..need to get a grip ..her loss has coloured my whole life..I've made poor choices and wrong decisions a lot of the time and I often wonder how different my life would have been had she lived. Can anyone else relate to this or maybe I'm just being self indulgent? Just to say I haven't got or had a really awful life.

I can’t relate to losing a mum so young but I was so touched by your sad and heartfelt post so late at night and in ‘other subjects’ that it could not go unanswered.

It is the hand that should have held yours through your infancy and way way beyond, helping you into womanhood was not there, your lovely mum was taken from you at little more than a baby.

I think she would be tremendously proud of you, you seem to blame yourself for ‘wrong decisions’ but please mother yourself now and praise and comfort yourself and seek all the help you can and know you are a remarkable person.

I lost my mum when I was two, she was in a car accident. I don’t remember her but we’re apparently very alike. You’re not being self indulgent at all, it’s a deep pain that not everyone understands and the impact it will have throughout your whole life.

That's very kind of you thank you. Also my first post.

I was 18 months old when my mum died of cancer and was also brought up by my dad and maternal grandparents (although they had a good relationship).

I have a very different experience, I don't miss my mum at all, I have never felt sad about her not being here, purely because I didn't know her and don't know what I'm missing. I feel a huge amount of guilt about this sometimes. I got married last year and people were suggesting ways to 'include' her in the day and I indulged these purely for my dads benefit. I feel immensely sad for him because he's never got over my mums passing

Obviously I wonder how things would have been had things been different and wish it hadn't happened but I try to just cling to the fact that I have an absolutely amazing relationship with my dad that I doubt I would have had had we not been forced to get each other through those difficult times

Sending lots of love OP!

not sure if I'm doing this right but thank you.

So sorry for your loss but thanks for the support.x

I was 6 when my dad died. I wouldn't say I miss him per se, but the effect his death had on the family was immense, and that affected me greatly. I definitely think I'd be a different person had he not died then.