Dealing with Asshole In Laws vent :)

[lh4077]

More of a vent than anything! MY BLOODY FATHER IN LAW!!!!!
Long story short, i've been with my husband for 10 years, and normally his (FIL) childish behaviour, just goes over my head. However, whether it's pregnancy hormones I don't know, my tolerance for his crap is wearing extremely thin.
He is the type of person, if he does something for you he expects something in return (not just a 4 pack of beer, like gourmet meal) and while I agree with this to a certain extent, after having children of my own, I would never expect anything in return, other than a thank you for anything I did for them.
He ALWAYS has to make all of our personal lives his business, and sticks his 2 pence in at every opportunity he gets. He will literally corner you and ask extremely personal questions, and will sulk if you don't give him an answer. If you tell him to mind his own business, he will not speak with you for weeks.
My best friend who is also my SIL is getting married - she doesn't want children at her wedding - fine, fair enough it's her day I'm her MOH, I'll do whatever it is she wants, however we don't have childcare that we can rely on so will have to split the day where my husband does half I do the other - We can't afford a childminder. Yet FIL is digging at every chance he gets to say it's SIL day we shouldn't be making it so difficult - my patience wore thin and I politely said this discussion is not something we were prepared to have with him, it is purely between SIL, BIL, hubby and myself. He is now going around to all family members F**ing and blinding that maybe we should just be taken off the guest list and not go at all.
These are events that are just going on at the moment, you are constantly walking on eggshells around FIL making sure you don't say or do the wrong thing - there is only so much venting I can do to my husband. I have always bitten my tongue, counted to ten and carried on, more for my husband than anything, it's not fair to put him in that kind of a position, but i'm finding it increasingly hard to do this. It's getting to the point I will end up cutting out FIL from my life (to clarify JUST my life, not hubby or kids)

SO anyway, not really sure what the gain from this was, more to vent without having to rein anything back I guess 😆

You have my sympathy. I’m dealing with an equally obnoxious mil. I bought a book today recommended to me written by Anne Dickson, ‘A Woman in Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You’.
I also bought the book by Susan Forward
‘Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage’.
We shouldn’t have to deal with nasty in-laws just because they are ‘family’. Respect goes both ways.

Your husband needs to deal with this and if you are brave enough cut your contact down to nearly nothing until he can treat you with respect. I’ve put my mother in law in time out information wise, she gets no updates regarding scans etc, as she can’t be trusted not to make very nasty comments which upset me for weeks afterwards. It’s a shame but she only has herself to blame.

(Sorry scans as in I’m pregnant, with hopefully our rainbow baby)

I had a similar FIL and went LC with him and MIL. It’s bliss !

Congratulations MargotChateau!! What exciting times there are for you. I hope all goes well with your scans 🤗

It just boggles my mind what they hope to achieve out of their behaviour, if anything it just makes you want to take a step back with the children to protect them from the outright maliciousness of it all. My BIL has 2 older daughters that are now being subjected to FIL vile behaviour towards them, it's so unbelievably unnecessary.

I have told hubby that for the next few weeks I need a bit of distance from MIL & FIL. He's agreed to visit them by himself with the LO, thank god!

Does he work or is he retired? My FIL has become a real busybody since retiring as he has nothing to do and sees himself as 'the head of the family'. We all live in different areas of the country so don't live in one another's pockets needing to know everyones business but he does. He visited recently to tell us a distant relative had split up with her husband. We all said it was a shame and hoped it would be an amicable split. He however needed to know the all details of why they were splitting (they were keeping it private) , because he was FAMILY and should be told. He was very vocal about needing to know.

No Acheyknees he still works (I dread to think what he's going to be like when he does retire), but that does sound an awful lot like my FIL.