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surname issue

3 replies

rootscan · 15/01/2008 01:47

i'm not sure if this is the right place to post but was wondering if anyone had any advice/suggestions...i know some people may not be bothered by things like this but it does matter to me...

i have kept my surname since i've gotten married & never had any intention of changing my name as i've always felt like it's my identity - particularly as i'm a different ethnicity to my husband. anyways, whenever we've sent out any cards, etc. to people (particularly his relatives as they tend to be traditional), i tend to put a return address label that clearly has our names on it (i.e. with my name not being Mrs John Smith but clearly typed as Ms Jane Doe). anyways, we always get mail sent to us addressed as 'Mr & Mrs John Smith' which annoys the h*ll out of me as i hate the implication of not having my own identity. on top of this, i am now doubly annoyed as we decided to double-barrel our DD's name & had clearly indicated this in our birth announcements & most of DH's relatives have ignored this & address her with only DH's surname....

the question is how do i resolve this issue because it really bugs me. i've thought about sending a family update newsletter type of thing with a 'P.S.' at the bottom but don't really know what is best....this is driving me nuts as i've just come back from a great christmas holiday & had to open numerous incorrectly addressed christmas cards from DH's family!

sorry for the novel.....just had to offload somewhere as DH hasn't really been much help. i've mentioned to him that he should say something to his mom (as she always addresses bday cards to me incorrectly) but to no avail...

any advice would be greatly appreciated

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FarcicalAlienQueen · 15/01/2008 01:50

sorry no advice - but as it's later and not many people around didn't want your thread to go unanswered - hope someone can help

BurpyErnie · 15/01/2008 01:59

Don't let it drive you nuts it's not the end of the world a lot of children have double barrel names and people only tend to use the first one they see (I know they do in my doctors). Don't bother mentioning it to your in laws u as they will only complain about it (as mine did when I gave my dd my mother maiden name as her surname) and it is a no win situation, As long as you child knows where their surname comes from and they are proud of that nothing else matters.

rootscan · 15/01/2008 15:57

thanks burpyernie for your support...i know it's not the end of the world but it bugs me that my ILs can't be bothered & just make the assumption that women automatically change their name when the get married. besides, our DD's surname has my surname first then my DH's & still the ILs only write the his...oh well, i guess i'll just have to try to ignore it like i've been doing for the past 7 years!

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