Can anyone help

[Loobylye]

A few months ago I left an emotionally abusive relationship, it was a huge wrench as I had to leave behind a job I really liked and now I'm staying with my sister and BIL, the situation isn't ideal but I've managed to find a nice little place down south to rent which I'll be moving into in a few weeks, I know I should be excited about about the prospect of a new life but I'm terrified, I've never lived entirely on my own and the thought of having to do it at my age (58) is terrifying me, not only that but I've started to feel very lonely and anxious and almost as if my life is over...

The mornings are the worst, I dread them as I feel so low and everything seems so pointless, my sister has been good in terms of supporting me in my move but she gets angry with me when I tell her how I feel and just advises me to 'sort myself out'....I'm at my wits end because I want to feel better and move on but I just seem to feel worse as the time goes by go by....I'm worried that I'll mess everything up and won't be able to cope...has anyone else felt like this ? Do I have depression or is this just a result of my recent experience that will pass...I'd appreciate any advice.

I was in a similar situation at 54 - I'd never lived alone before. Best thing I did was to get back into working. It gave structure to my life and I made some new friends. After a few months I was very happy and back to flying solo. Good luck !

@ShippingNews ...thanks for your response, seems as if my issues are unimportant in comparison with most on here 🙄

I think your thread may have dropped off the list earlier. A lot of people don't open 'Other Subjects' either.

Firstly - well done for getting out of an abusive relationship. That took guts and a massive step. No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed.

Slightly different but my auntie was widowed a couple of years ago. She's found volunteering at a local charity shop and joining a local bowls group has given her a purpose (for want of a better word). Is there a hobby you've always wanted to try or used to do but stopped?

Hi Loobylye. I'm in a similar position. I'm 56, single, and after two years working from home, splitting with my partner, children all grown up, and some very serious family issues I had been feeling very much the same as you: old, demotivated, lonely, anxious and scared about a future with no sign of anything positive in it.

So, I made a 'plan' of all the things I would try to improve my life...

I had to admit that I was quite depressed. I've been on anti-depressants for a long while and had nearly weaned myself off them but have increased the dose until I feel better.

I have started to go back onto the office to work (which I was dreading but it's actually been good).

I have got an additional part-time job for a new challenge and to meet some new people. (Not started yet and I'm quite scared but also feel it will be good.) I would have done some voluntary work if I hadn't got a job.

Me and my ex are giving things another go...

I've just filled my bedroom with plants...

My advice to you, really, would be similarly make a plan, throw yourself into some things. There has to be something to motivate and engage you in everyday life, as well as something on the horizon to look forward to.

If you've been through a lot and are 'starting again' then, of course, it's scary and it is harder to make a new life and friends as you get older. But your life's definitely not over!

(Your sister doesn't sound at all supportive.)

I hope you sort things out and start to feel better soon.

Are you moving into an area where you don't know anyone?