Do you give your toddler your 100 % attention at all times ??

[DARCYgirl]

What i mean is; is it OK to read a magazine/watch tv/surf the internet ( not all day !) while your toddler plays alone or is this being a 'bad mum'?

Er, no.

Kids need to learn to play on their own.

yes it's ok to read/watch /surf whilst toddler plays alone

you are encouraging your child to explore the world and learn independent imagination

people who do that 'must get down and play with children and interact with them all the time' are barking in my view

Sometimes i feel a bit guilty if im reading or watching tv while she plays on her own, do you think thats stupid ? ( LO is 18 months, 1st baby )

Thankyou ! I think i need to lighten up a bit !

If everyone did then mumsnet would be empty most of the time lol

Yes that is stupid . Don't feel guilty. They need to learn to be self sufficient for at least some of the time. If they are calling for you and you are ignoring then feel bad but def not if they are just playing....

So long as she's not sticking her fingers in the sockets it's good for her to explore on her own. She needs to see you doing grown-up stuff too.

Just realised I did when I meant Oops, sorry. kids were annoying me, meant the for them!!

(grin) thankyou !

Nobody can give any child or person 100% of their attention at ALL times! That is unfeasible! Even though my seven year old SN child does terrible, destructive things every time I look away, I still have to look away!

Of course you can read a magazine! Has anyone made you think you shouldn't be doing so? You can supervise play without being activiely part of it. In fact you need to ensure you child can entertain herself for short periods of time. It's important for her development.

Shiny; I dont know, maybe its a deep seated thing, perhaps someone did say something along those lines. I think i am just a guilt ridden person by nature !

I have a friend who is on her 3 yo's case all the time

He is bright, but clingy, unable to do much for himslef and v whingy

My kids are pretty neglected really (but in a good way ) and both are sociable and confident, and both DSs (3.1 and 16m) e quite happy playion g by themselves

God, I couldn't spend every waking monet with mine, much as aia love and adore them, they would drive me fucking mental

Let go of the guilt Darcy. You are obviously a very caring mother. As long as you show love to your little girl, with contact, cuddles and communication and make sure she has things to keep her busy when you need to turen your back and be busy with something else then you are doing terrific.

thanks all ! i do feel a lot better, OH at work a lot so its just me, LO & the dawg, good to hear all your views

God, woman, you need to do something for yourself, otherwise you will spontaneously combust

IU love spending time with mine, but pretending to be Boco or the Fat Controller can be wearing after a while. That's when I head for MN

Are you Darcy or is DD? This was going to be the name xH and I were going to give DS1 (now 15) if he had been a girl

No, as i have 2 under 4's, they play on their own whilst i'm on MN

Im a nanny

my 2 year old charge does NOT get 100% attention...

sometimes there is just other stuff for me to do... washing / sorting clothes / having a cup of tea / cooking / doing chickens / talking to DB (daddy boss) / organising meet upos with nany friends etc

I think its healthy for children to learn to play by themselves and amuse themselves for a while.

Shiny, Surname is Darcy but i lov it as a Christian name too! Sheik - you are so right, Marne - i would like another 2 so
that must be the great thing they can all amuse themselves ! Nanny, good to hear a professional point of view too. Thanks Ladies

thank you

i obviosuly do not leave him to his own devices for hours at a time, but 20 min while sorting all the washing and putting it away is fine...

sometimes he follows me upstairs and watches helps while other times he will happily continue driving his cars abound the road we have built together while i nip away for a bit, knowing that i will be back for more play in a while.

Ooh, does that mean you are married to Mr. Darcy of the wet, white shirt?? [swoon]

heehe! yes , thats why i married him!

darcy you've had lots of good advice here...take it and relax.

Just to add something to amuse you; I once lived next door to a woman who wouldn't even put the car radio on while her pfb was in the car with her because it "Was SO much better for him to hear my voice all the time don't you think?" She looked genuinely appalled that i often turned on Heart to drown out the winging of my 4thborn lest he distract me too much while driving. Her pfb now has a younger sibling, but aged 8 he seems unable to play alone if his brother or a friend isn't around, and constantly tries to butt join in on every single adult conversation you try to have with his mum.

mio thanks, thats good to know, my nephew is a lot like that !