Bit of a long story. My Grandpa is a lovely, niave old (in his 80's now) man. My Grandma dies suddenly about 10 years ago.
After her death my grandpa was very depressed. He started attending spiritualist churches and there met a woman who claimed to be a medium. She claimed that she was in contact with my grandma and that she was happy for her to move in with my grandad. It was then we knew for certain that she was talking bullshit.
Fast forward about 8/9 years. They have been to spain and moved back. They moved to the area where all of her 'friends' were and none of grandpa's family. The moved back last year. Now none of her friends are there/ have moved/don't visit/have died.
I shall call this woman W. W's health has apparently deteriorated. She has insisted on having home oxygen. Yet she always answers the phone. If you can't breath you can barely talk. She can hold a full conversation. Not someone in my experience who really requires home oxygen. She has become completely bed bound, with no real reason for being so. She has pressure sores. She has to be got out of bed and walked to the toilet. Her diet can only be pureed - again no reason for this.
Grandpa cannot leave the house. She will not allow him. She has an alarm system - she could be toileted prior to him leaving - no. none of that. One dog has had to be given up, a dog walker has had to be employed for the other dog. Grandpa basically has no life for a woman who has never been anymore than a friend. He is demanded upon with no thanks day and night. He has become very depressed.
Social services have become involved and W has now gone for a short time to respite which everyone who knows her knows will not work, trying to encourage her to do things normally again. Grandpa, meanwhile is looking at renting a flat near where my mum lives - he has had enough and wants to get away. She is aware of his wish and has been begging him not to and threatening all sorts of things to try and stop him.
As much as I have never been keen on this lady I can't help feeling going away behind her back to try and find alternative accomodation while she is 'indisposed' is simply not fair. They have a joint tenancy on their current accomadation - if Grandpa breaks this tenancy what will happen. Will this mean W will not be able to return? Obviously if she does she will have to foot the bill for the whole house.
I really do want my grandpa to break free from this, he has only years left, and at the moment he has no quality of life. If it were the other way round she would not be taking care of him. However, I believe as do as you would be done and I don't feel this is a fair way of doing it. Social services need to be informed too - but grandpa is reluctant to do so.
What do you all think? I've waffled so I'm not entirely sure this all makes sense.