I am a regular but have namechanged because I don?t want to be recognized in rl.
I have a friend who I met about 2.5 years ago through our dc being at preschool together. She is lovely, and over time I also met her dh who seemed like a lovely, genuine, if perhaps a bit of a lad type guy.
Anyway about 8 months ago we all went to their dd?s party, and afterwards another friend said to me ?I think x dh is very controlling and possessive of her. She was very relaxed and the instant he walked in the room her whole attitude changed and she seemed to be afraid somehow.? I hadn?t noticed if I?m honest, he?d never seemed the controlling type, although he is much more outgoing than she is and I had wondered if she perhaps feels a bit as if she lives in his shadow iykwim?
But some things over the past few months have led me to wonder if my friend could have been right.
Firstly, she?s stopped doing the school run altogether. Her dh runs his own business, and yet he does drop off and pick up every day without fail. If ever she does do the school run, he generally comes with her. A couple of times I have seen her and asked if everything is ok and she?s said something like ?oh yes, it?s just that I?m never ready in time so dh just says shall I do it? with a sort of nervous laugh.
One day she did pick up her dd and they came to the park, about half an hour later he turned up saying that he thought she was coming straight home as he needed the car. He?d walked all the way to the park to say that, when they both have mobiles so he could have called her?
Recently she asked me to buy something for her dd on holiday, to replace an item she had bought for her in the same place but which dd had left on the aeroplane. I bought it, and gave it to her dh who was doing the school run that morning, and he had no knowledge of the fact she?d asked me to buy it. Then for about two weeks after he kept asking if she?d given me the money, despite the fact he is the breadwinner and could have given it to me?
She used to have lots of friends, but now she doesn?t seem to keep in touch with any of them any more.
I feel guilty being suspicious of this guy, he does seem genuine, but seems almost too genuine if that makes sense. Going out of his way to be the perfect father/husband/to do good by others, cosying up to the teacher for little chats after school, telling them what a lovely job they?re doing etc, it just seems too good to be true iyswim?
I do also feel guilty because they?ve been good to me in the past, he has been out of his way to offer me lift home when I?ve been to school functions and would have had to walk home in the dark that sort of thing, so to be accusing him does feel wrong somehow.
But thing is, I can?t get involved can I? I can?t approach this woman and ask if she?s in a controlling relationship because really it?s none of my business is it? And besides I could be wrong.
Am I wrong to be suspicious or does this sound odd to anyone else?