Found out today DD's friend's dad died over the Christmas holidays.

[Aimsmum]

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What a dreadful thing

Why not ,if you know where they live, take up some food, a casserole, lasagne, that sort of thing, a gesture to say that you care.

Someone else will be along soon with more ideas

You are a very kind person

That's incredibly sad. DS1's friend (14) lost his father on Christmas Eve.

I think you simply say what it is that you feel to say.

take her a casserole or some hearty food that she can easily reheat

it will be very difficult for her to be thinking straight ..

put it in a container you don't expect back .. put reheat instructions on it .. make sure it's something that can be frozen if necessary (sausage casserole is a good bet unless veggies)

if you know someone who knows her better than you then maybe you could ask them to take it round

you just need to be there without forcing yourself upon her .. it is tough .. don't avoid her though .. express your sorrow and offer actual help not useless 'anything I can do to help'

or you could send her a card letting her know that you are available to help with things.
How sad for them both.

the child will also be in shock .. have a read through the winstons wish website it might give you some ideas for the future ... but don't go hitting this woman with all the things she could be doing

Poor thing. I lost my dad on Xmas Eve when I was 10, so I know that pain. Good advice from Twiglett, if you don't really know her. She may have lots of people rallying round and although your intensions are good, she may not take it that way. However, a little note, with something for the freezer, expressing your thoughts, is good.

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Absolutely give her a card at the least. She may not have any friends to rely on, if you say she speaks to no-one at school. Like you say, you don't want to appear pushy, but at the same time, you can't ignore her grief.

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How awful. A mum at DD;s school had a heart attack (she was only 38) and died .

So what happened Ainsmum? Did you talk to DD's friends mum?

I lost my Dad just two years ago to a heart attack following a car accident with a drunk driver.

I rec'd many cards offering help/support. It was lovely to get so many lovely cards but some of the cards were from people that I simply didn't know well enough to ask for help/shoulder to cry on etc.

I think sending a card is a lovely idea but perhaps putting a bunch of flowers on her doorstep with a note attached would be another idea? Doesn't have to be a huge bunch just something simple to show you care and are thinking of her.

Sorry - just noticed you've posted that you don't know where she lives.

How about giving a little gift to her dd then - from your dd? A little something that she can cherish? A little teddy bear with some special words on it or a simple thing like a necklace? Just something she can tuck away safely and keep forever.