who's upsticks to make a big move? was it the right decision?

[hatwoman]

if you like where you live would you up-sticks to go somewhere totally different? is this mad?

us now: sw london; stone's throw from the river, Richmond Park, Carluccios and John Lewis; 40 min from Natural History Museum etc; 40 min to South Bank; excellent state schools; me 50 min commute 3 days a week; dh 45 min commute 4 days a week; childcare (nanny) 3 days a week; 1 family we would count as long-term close friends 10 mins drive away; others mostly 60 min drive away for weekend social life and/or London-based so can meet in town after work during the week; dh's family 80 min drive' my family 3+ hour drive; nice 4 bed house with no garden; children who constantly talk about having a dog and living in the country

us in 6 months: oop north in rented 4-5 bed with big garden plus a national park the other side of garden wall; tenants in London. dds at small village school (we're talking about 8 kids per year) with their cousin; granny aunt uncle cousin in walking distance; dh consulting ie works from home, occasional travel to London, ocassional travel abroad, sporadic work but ideally the equivalent of 3 days a week; me wfh 2-3 days a week, travel to London 1 day a week (3 hours door-to-door each way); no childcare (but large potential for flexible family help that I would have not one iota of doubt about - could possibly explore paying for it which might be good all round); only friends nearby would be very old ones from whom I have long drifted, or db and sil's friends - plenty of potential for pleasantness if not soulmates; plus about 3 familes (long-term friends from uni) about 60-70 mins drive away; other friends down south 3 hours drive away.

I like where we are now. In fact I like it more since we hatched above plan...I sometimes feel we couldn't really have it any better - everything London has, plus the amazing Richmond Park, but whenever I go "home" I feel something in my gut. pangs to be there, for my kids to have what I had...I don;t get them when I'm here though...only when I'm there.

Do it - if you don't like it you can do something else or go back

I moved from North London to Liverpool - stuck it out for 2 yrs hated it then moved to Norfolk - 7 yrs later I love it

You never regret the things you do (long term) but you always wonder what if?

But watch the commuting

we upped sticks from Hackney to Oxon
best move we ever made

tbh if you aren't selling up in London you could always go back - we knew there was no return...

and although village sch is lovely at primary level how long is the journey to the secondary, and is it any good?

Gosh it sounds lovely AND low risk, you can always go back to London if you're renting your house out. I'd go for it in your position.

And we moved from Devon to Bristol in 2003 and then Bristol to home counties in 2006. We're not moving again, we're happy here.

we have always talked - in fact usually about Oxofrdshire like Mrs B - but then dh came up with the idea of renting - kind of suck it and see. The main problem might be the lack of suitable rental properties. and if 2 adults are going to be working from home we'll have to quite fussy about space - though we're prepared to compromise on most other things. yes an old stone farmhouse would be nice, but that's not why we're going. and if the size and location were right I'd be happy with something modern and/or ugly.

We moved from London to Yorkshire in the summer and it is great!
Mind you, we were in rather crap 1 bed council flat in SE London, surrounded on all sides by noisy, and abusive neighbours, and I had an hour's drive to work.
Now we can afford to privately rent and we are in a three bed detached in a lovely area and I have a 10 min drive to work.

I moved from Oxford to Edinburgh...and Yes it is good for lots of reasons BUT I have come to realise that it has been much harder for me to deal with the change than I had ever imagined. As a child I moved a lot, as an adult I barely lived in the same home more than a year, though I was in Oxford for a decade. I think my advancing age and the responsibility of slightly screwing up a small boy (he did NOT take the move well for various really-obvious-in-hindsight reasons) plus perhaps a residue of mild pnd (?I am not sure of this) made it quite hard for me. I found I missed my friends like mad, and now of course they've all carried on being friends together and have all had more children and I feel quite out of that loop. Not to mention that with all these new children and full-time jobs they don't really do email, which is my main form of communication (but at least I know they are not MNers as they are never on the computer!).
So my advice would be to predict that you might not find it really easy and try to recognise when (if) that's happening and go easy on yourself. And be really rigorous about keeping up with friends, phoning often and arranging trips to see them.

I'd say, from experience, don't be afraid to move back again if it doesn't work out.

We made the dream move, London to the coast, just after DS1 was born, and moved back after 4 years, because we missed family and friends, they missed us, and DH missed his football team . We got fed up of either having a houseful of guests, or one or all of us travelling every weekend.