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What to do about my driving? Just can't get the hang!

14 replies

mlj123 · 15/03/2022 17:33

Hi all

So I've been taking lessons for ages, I started just before the first lock down so not a great time to start. It's been stop start stop start and I felt like every time I bade progress we went back into another lockdown and when I got back in the car I'd gone backwards. I booked a test and failed. So I decided to re book and resume lessons nearer the time, I was pregnant and waited until maternity to resume them, however I had a c section and was told I could not drive for 6 weeks. This meant that after the 6 weeks it would only be 2 weeks of driving before my test and my instructor could not give me extra lessons due to other tests etc. We talked about postponing my test but in the end thought that me booking an intensive course with another instructor could help me become test ready. I booked an intensive course and it was a lot harder than I thought to drive a different car and also do things his way. He did not like some of the food and I was doing things and wanted to polish up my driving. Since this I have been doing ok ish but doing things his way is harder and even though I'm getting the pedals etc better now and my drive has been improving my instructor doesn't have as much patience as my old one and makes me nervous and every lesson I end up making silly mistakes and going back to square one. I drive 90% of the lesson perfectly and then go and do something stupid like stall the car or put it into gear 1 instead of 3 when building speed🤦‍♀️and this doesn't impress my instructor al all and he tells me off a lot making me really hate driving. I have a new test booked for July and we were gonna do lessons once a week until then. However yesterday my instructor called me to say he doesn't know what to do with me because he really only does intensive courses and not lessons and he's getting booked up quite quickly with these courses and can't fit my schedule around work etc anymore. He says he can put some hours a side before my test for another set of intensive lessons but it's not working like this. We did the intensive course last time and time ran out b4 I got any better because I kept making silly mistakes. Part of me thinks I should do the intensive course again and part of me thinks I should go back to my old instructor as she is a lot more patient and I don't make these mistakes. However we've spent ages now trying to get my driving more polished and I don't wanna in do all the work again. Also I could try a new instructor all together but that might be a bad idea as I've learnt that swapping cars, ways of doing things etc for a learner driver is very hard and is a set back. I'm starting to really hate driving and beginning to think of giving up.

OP posts:
Lunde · 15/03/2022 17:36

Have you thought about trying an automatic? No gears or gear changes to think about just drive or reverse. It worked for a friend who struggled with driving.

mlj123 · 15/03/2022 17:36

Sorry for all the typos🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 15/03/2022 17:39

You absolutely should use an instructor who is patient and doesn't tell you off - either your old instructor or a new one. Telling you off is unprofessional and counter-productive and I'm not surprised you feel like giving up. Driving doesn't come easily to everyone, but you will get the hang of it!

geminiflanagan · 15/03/2022 17:39

I struggled with learning manual. I think over the course of about 4 years I'd had maybe 50 hours of lessons, on and off in little bursts as I moved around the country. Could never get it.

Moved again, tried an automatic, took 7 hours of lessons and passed first time. Never looked back or had any problems!

mlj123 · 15/03/2022 17:40

@Lunde

Have you thought about trying an automatic? No gears or gear changes to think about just drive or reverse. It worked for a friend who struggled with driving.
This was advised to me by my instructor that I'm with atm. But I really don't wanna put all this time and money in to change to automatic now. We've both agreed I can drive when I relax I get it but then I make mistakes and it's probably because I'm worrying that if I get it wrong I'm gonna be told off like a child. I never made these mistakes with my first instructor but she did not teach me some of the stuff that I'm learning now and I don't know who is right or who is wrong etc.
OP posts:
leeds2glasgow · 15/03/2022 17:43

I had hundreds of lessons. I've switched to automatic and can't tell you how easily it just clicked. You already know the road rules, I would recommend having a trial lesson.

MrsPnut · 15/03/2022 17:43

Change instructors again if you can, you need to feel comfortable with your instructor and they need to support you.
Mine sat patiently whilst I had a tantrum over reversing around a corner, I think I said "I don't want to drive and you can't make me". He then suggested a square of chocolate and a nice easy turn in the road before I drove home.

mlj123 · 15/03/2022 17:47

Also something I can see him shakil his head or putting his head in his hands if I make a small mistake and it puts me on edge. It's only little things like braking a little harder than I should or going a bit wider on a corner than I should but I'm feeling then like I just can't drive. My old instructor was so patient and would say it's ok if I made a mistake but he says he's not gonna say it's ok because it's not ok and I shouldn't be making these mistakes. I've probably had about 80 hours of lessons now and I can't seem to get it right all the time, I don't know what's wrong with me and why I just can't pick it up.

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 15/03/2022 17:50

I'm not sure if it is still possible, but the thing that helped for me was long drives - my DH (then BF) used to drive us out of the city, pull over and then let me drive the rest of the way. I'd be driving for two hours or so, but I found the long drives really helped me settle in and I wasn't overthinking because I wasn't having to change gears frequently etc. And then when I did need to do a maneuverer I was relaxed and settled and it was a lot easier.

mlj123 · 15/03/2022 17:51

@MrsPnut

Change instructors again if you can, you need to feel comfortable with your instructor and they need to support you. Mine sat patiently whilst I had a tantrum over reversing around a corner, I think I said "I don't want to drive and you can't make me". He then suggested a square of chocolate and a nice easy turn in the road before I drove home.
Could this be another set back though keep changing instructors? Also what if I end up with one the same? Glad you found a good one.
OP posts:
sillysmiles · 15/03/2022 17:51

Also something I can see him shakil his head or putting his head in his hands if I make a small mistake and it puts me on edge. It's only little things like braking a little harder than I should or going a bit wider on a corner than I should but I'm feeling then like I just can't drive

That's really crap. You don't need to be dealing with that.

mlj123 · 15/03/2022 17:54

@sillysmiles

I'm not sure if it is still possible, but the thing that helped for me was long drives - my DH (then BF) used to drive us out of the city, pull over and then let me drive the rest of the way. I'd be driving for two hours or so, but I found the long drives really helped me settle in and I wasn't overthinking because I wasn't having to change gears frequently etc. And then when I did need to do a maneuverer I was relaxed and settled and it was a lot easier.
My partner would not let me drive his car, maybe my mil would or myself and my instructor talked about me getting my own car for that purpose because I can drive when I'm having a good day. but I'd be scared with no one else having control of the pedals and also there would be no one to tell me if I'm doing something wrong, etc
OP posts:
mlj123 · 15/03/2022 18:01

Thing is I also have 2 kids one at school and another only 6 months old. I'm working full time in a very demanding fast paced job and busy with kids, school runs, activities, homework etc in my days off. I'm sometimes not even in the mood for these lessons and feel defeated before I get in the car and when I feel like this I can bet il end up making mistakes

OP posts:
ISayItLikeItIs · 17/03/2022 11:57

sigh...The driving woes...I'm going through similar, I've had countless amounts of lessons. I've had to change instructor cuz my first flaked out on me. She kept cancelling and making up excuses and then I got frustrated and went with another one but I realized she was only doing it to get me to switch. Not sure why cuz she always told me I'm improving so maybe she lied..IDK. Anyways it was for the better because I found an awesome, patient more experienced instructor and I've been doing great so far but I keep making silly mistakes as well especially when I'm nervous and some of my maneuvers(reverse bay parking etc) is not the best. Its an uphill battle TBH but I really want to drive before I'm 30 :(

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