Son accepting new partner

[FlorianImogen]

I'm a widow and I've recently met a widower, we get on really well and are just friends but hopeful it will develop further. My son 40 won't accept I have this new friend, he doesn't realise I'm lonely and I say why should I stay lonely when this man has come into my life. How can I get my son to accept I may be in a new relationship? Has anyone else had this to deal with?

You're a grown up, he's a grown up. He doesn't have to accept it, but you don't have to pay attention to what he thinks.

Tell him you're sorry that he's upset, but you want to grab at any chance of happiness.

How long has his DF been dead? It's understandable if he struggles if it hasn't been that long.

I think you need to put yourself first and tell your son that you are happy in this relationship. Is he concerned that your new partner may be trying to get money from you?

You're right, I don't have to pay attention, thanks for saying what I've been thinking, it helps to reinforce it.

Don't think money comes into it, we'll keep things separate and have already covered that issue ourselves.

I thought you were going to say he was 5 or 10 years old! Of course you deserve happiness and companionship and love. He's being very selfish to think his discomfort at the idea trumps that. He's an adult and entitled to his opinion but unless this new man is super shady he really should button it and wish you well!

Tell your selfish, man child of a son to keep his opinions to himself. How dare he try to police your life. I am furious on your behalf.

My FIL is a widower and is now in a relationship with a widow. They started seeing each other about 2 years after MIL died.

I will admit that DH and I haven't always found this particularly easy. Especially at family events, special occasions. However, we have kept that completely hidden from FIL and his partner. We have welcomed her into the family because she makes FIL happy.

Your DS is being selfish. He doesn't have to be deliriously happy about the situation. But he does have to respect your right to a private life.

Cagney, would you be able to say here why you find FIL's having a new lady difficult?

At what stage is it more acceptable to move on?