How can I be less "manic"?

[TrickyTeaCake]

I've noticed it more since having a baby as I think it's rubbing off on her ...

It's not like "mania" from BPD but "manic" in terms of energy that I give off like a 'chakra', not that I believe in that stuff either.

I met a friend with their baby the other day, friend is all chilled, calm, wouldn't class as bubbly, but lovely to chat to, whilst I feel like I'm the opposite! I think I try to be bubbly and energetic but as a result I come across as operating at a million miles an hour. Friends baby was all lovely and relaxed, happy, calm, content in a high chair and mine is live wire, demanding, needy/clingy, noisy etc 😂 (love her to bits though).

I was very full on once I'd had her, I just threw myself into motherhood as a coping mechanism to forget the birthing experience which was awful, so I think poor DD is like a dynamo as a result of that to

How to I chill us both out?!?!

Baby massage, spend time practising being still and listening to music, long walks in nature....

But ultimately, you're you. You can't be anyone else! And that's a good thing.

I've missed the boat for baby massage, my dd is 10 months and will not sit of lie still fir 1 second . We do nature walks regularly so we do get this "quiet time" but it's not doing us much chilling out 😂

I think I try to be bubbly and energetic

Stop 'trying' to be something.

as a result I come across

Stop thinking about how you 'come across'.

Both of these things are down to insecurity, which is a lack of being rooted in yourself, and grounded. Energy that isn't rooted will fly about all over the place, AKA mania.

What do you want today to look like? What steps do you need to take to make it look like that? All you need to do is take those steps. There's nothing else.

I think you need to be kinder to yourself and stop think there’s something wrong with you.

You are a high energy person. That’s a huge positive in so many ways.

Your baby is who she is too. There’s no right way to be a baby. They’re all different.

I’m like you (I’m awaiting assessment for ADHD because it’s not just me being lively). My baby is high energy. He’d be the one climbing over everything and wanting to interact with the whole world at once. He’s not one of life’s sitting quietly in a high chair or buggy babies. None of my children have been. He’s the same at nursery. They don’t see it as negative at all. He is who he is and that’s great.

It’s so easy to compare and think you must be getting it wrong. But you’re not. People are all different and that’s a good thing.

Exercise. Wear yourself out running, swimming or at the gym. You'll gain a lovely wave of relaxation afterwards too.

You sound like maybe you'd benefit from confronting your birth experience, dealing with it in some way, so that you're not forever running away and trying to cover it over.

But you are you. It wouldn't be a surprise if a baby inherited its mother's personality.

@TrickyTeaCake

I've missed the boat for baby massage, my dd is 10 months and will not sit of lie still fir 1 second . We do nature walks regularly so we do get this "quiet time" but it's not doing us much chilling out 😂

I think you should pick the things that will work best for you both. It’s just stressful otherwise.

My DS loves baby swimming. He liked baby gymnastics. He loves bike rides and going on scooters and climbing stuff. I’m going to sign him up for rugby tots when he’s 2. I wouldn’t bother signing him up to some sort of quiet, staying still class. That would just be stressful for us both.

There are loads of activities to do. Pick the ones that suit your child (and you). That’s where you’ll find all the other somewhat ‘manic’ people and you won’t feel like there’s something wrong with you or your child.