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Original poster

DP asked me to marry him on the 22nd Dec- now stressing- help!!!!!

15 replies

lilmissmummy · 31/12/2007 12:06

Ahhh it was sooo romantic! anyway so we had a little get together and announced that we were going to get married 2009 and have an engagement party March 2008. But I am really overwhelmed with the amount that I need to do between now and then...

Engagement party- how many people should I invite? What sort of venue is appropriate? Is March too late?

Wedding- how do you get hold of the vicar? do I need to go to church?

Venue- How much should I be looking to spend (I live in the South East)? How many people should I invite?

Honeymoon- should I take the children? could I cope not taking the children?

When should I be booking venues and churches? now? when should I send out invitations? How do I do all of this with a 6yr old and a 3yr old?

help?!!!

OP posts:
brusselbeansprouts · 31/12/2007 12:09

It's like eating an elephant - just do bits at a time. You need to contact the church you want to get married in and take it from there. Also contact any other venues you want to use (reception, engagement party) and book those too. Remember they will double the cost if you say "wedding" so just talk about a function instead.

As for numbers, work out your budget and take it from there!!!

There are plenty of wedding planning websites but remember that you don't have to do absolutely everything. We didn't have a photographer or flowers and had a fab day.

Enjoy!!!

hanaflower · 31/12/2007 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lilmissmummy · 31/12/2007 12:13

It is just so overwhelming dp bought me a wedding magasine and that just added to the amount of things I needed to do. I can feel myself getting slightly obsessed already and there is still 20 months to go

OP posts:
brusselbeansprouts · 31/12/2007 12:16

Remember that there are lots of people out there who make a huge amount of money from weddings and want to make it complicated.

It can be as simple or as complicated as you make it.

I found this book really helpful. Lots of suggestions and tips, would recommend it!!

Oh and, congratulations!!!

Original poster
lilmissmummy · 31/12/2007 12:16

He wants to get married on 1st August 2009 and wants a massive big white wedding with all the trimmings. He is speaking to my dad tonight to work out what our bidget is going to be. I guess I am very lucky in that respect as money is not a major issue and we are going halves with my dad with his parents and my mum paying for the odd things.

Is it really as hard as it looks to organise a wedding?

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/12/2007 12:17

You don't need to have a party or a complicated do if you find it too much or budget is limited. If you do, book the venue (most halls/hotels have websites with rough costs), then bulk buy booze and /or nibbles or ask family/friend who has had a fucntion recently for a recommendation fo a caterer. Same with venues then phone vicar and reserve the date - these are likely to get booked up up to 2 years ahead for most popular dates - June and September are most common. Make a rough calculation of minimum/maximum numbers. Of course if money is no object you can employ someone to organise it all.

Original poster
lilmissmummy · 31/12/2007 12:18

Thank you bbs I will see if I can get my hands on that book!

Hanaflower you make it sound so easy!!

Thank you for the congratulations- maybe I should enjoy this stage for a bit??! what do you think? x

OP posts:
PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 31/12/2007 12:22

I would say, if you want an August wedding even for 2009, book the venues then sit back relax ansd enjoy- decent venues get booked up very quickly indeed

congratulatinos, btw. Ours was a fairly simple do- nice hotel for all of it- but extremely special to us.

Jbck · 31/12/2007 12:27

DH asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve & we were married at the start of
August the following year. We had a big do with all the trimmings & organised the whole thing in about 6 months. Don't stress too much and try not to get so caught up in all the prep that you don't actually enjoy choosing your dress, flowers, cake etc as it should be a really joyous time. I found my Mum drove me a bit bonkers as it was almost all we talked about for the time leading up to it but I moved in with DH a few months before the wedding and some of the pressure was off as she & I weren't under the same roof so you won't have that to contend with anyway. Think most daughters and Mums find weddings stressful as a topic.
Have a fab time, do it as methodically as you can and try not to worry about it being perfect there will always be something that'll go awry but it won't spoil your day. I had 2 elderly aunties wandering round at the reception because they'd somehow been missed of the final draft of the seating plan. Couple of chairs & 2 extra place settings and it was all solved.
Concentrate on looking gorgeous!

hanaflower · 31/12/2007 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ecmo · 31/12/2007 12:37

ooh i live in the south east (ish) can I come? I love a wedding

Crunchie · 31/12/2007 12:39

it really seriously doesn't take that much organisation, The venue is the only think to sort soon, as prime dates (eg Saturdays between June and September) do get booked up over a year in advance.

My advice would be to think of places that mean something to you first (I got married in a staely home where I had played in the adventure playground as a child) Check out venues in your area, eg do you want a church wedding or a venue that can do teh ceremoney too. A rough budget is also important.

Next get a rough guide think of who you may want to invite - families on both sides, do yuou include all the cousins etc, frinds that you and your DF wants and also friends your parents may want. This gives you an idea of numbers (we ended up with nearly 200 at first count!!)

TBH at this stage this should be enough, you know the rough size, the rough budget, which will then determine the venue. Book that and relax,

Later the actual planning willhappen, and this is where you can spend as much or as little as yyou want. You don't HAVE to have a sit down meal for example (we didn't) you certainly DON't need almonds in net at every place, you DON't HAVE to have a colour scheme if you don't want to.

Keep it simple, don't be pressurised intothings that are not YOU

Original poster
lilmissmummy · 31/12/2007 15:00

Thanks for the advice everyone- it just seems so daunting.

I dont think it matters the fact that I have got 2 children- to have a big white wedding am I wrong?

I will start having a look round at venues- I would really like to get married in our parish church as they really helped me out when I was a single mum so that is very important to me.

I think instead of looking it as a whole we need to take it step by step!

OP posts:
hanaflower · 31/12/2007 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS · 31/12/2007 16:49

oh and just because you can afford a big do doesn't mean that is what you have to have if it doesn't suit .

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