Anyone else just can't stand their mother in law?

[sunsandwaves]

Please tell me I'm not alone

I see 7 threads a day.

You are not alone...mine doesn't even send Xmas presents for the kids under the pretext of Covid and Brexit (both just the perfect excuses)

Cant' really comment. Haven't seen her or spoken to her since our wedding day which she tried (and nearly succeeded) to ruin.

Have a look on the relationships board… you are not alone!

yes, 20 threads a day.

I have issues with my own mother and I think a lot of the issues are generational and to do with respect. Mothers want and deserve the respect to do things their own way in their own home and mothers in law feel (sometimes) that a younger woman who has taken their son owes it to them to do things their way.

On both sides the answer could be the gift of not caring what other people think of you. That is a gift really, I've been trying very hard to get to a place where my mother's labelling of me loses its power.

But I never really cared what my x mother in law thought of me. Luckily I just saw her as a controlling person and knew from day one that she had no self-awareness at all.

Not everything requires a reaction. Sometimes, my X mil would make a comment that did make me feel threatened but then I'd go home and think ok, does she have the power to x, y or z and I knew her only power was to influence her son who was controlling. In the end I did leave so perhaps it's not a good example. But hide your reaction and go to a private place to assess how much power she actually has over any situation causing dispute would be my advice.

My xmil had a lot of power of my x but none over me and although she would never acknowledge it, their controlling ways were not something they could ever address or conquer so they lost a lot. I had to move away to a much cheaper location.

@sunsandwaves

Please tell me I'm not alone

Have you never, ever read a single MN thread?

Yes, God yes, fully relate.

To be fair, my dislike of her was mostly down to the way she treated DH. Textbook narcissist who favoured his ‘golden child’ sister. For 37 years, everything about him has been ‘less than’ in her eyes and she wasn’t subtle about it.
Even our wedding wasn’t good enough for her so his parents walked out before we even cut the cake, using the excuse ‘well, we have to get home to the dog’. DH was devastated.

She’s said some awful things to him, but his family are so used to turning a blind eye to her behaviour, they blame him for being upset. Some have only heard her side and refuse to listen to his or how she’s made him feel. Others say ‘it’s just how she is’ and let her crack on, which makes them just as bad.

He decided to remain NC with his whole family last year and he’s been happier, but it’s a shame it had to come to that. Can’t stand her. 😡

I’m so sorry, didn’t realise this was an old thread! Came up as suggested, have requested removal of comments.