Life changing event...........can I really do this? PART 2.

[emmatmg]

Hi, it's me again.

Well.........he got the job.

I'd really love to say I'm beside myself with excitment and happiness but I not. I'm along way from it in fact.

I would be sooooo much happier if he hadn't of got it but I know we'll be going and I'm gutted.

This is the story if anyone wants to know what I'm wittering on about.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=9&threadid=42992&stamp=041107205313

Part 1

Hi Emmatmg

Glanced through the thread. Are you concerned about how the kids will adapt or do you have reservations of your own ?

We moved country when ds was 3 and I won't pretend that the first few months were easy for us (I was pg with dd at the same time and preschool didn't start for 3 months). He did adapt eventually (having a new sister didn't help on top of the move) and now we, 3.5 years on, are faced with moving back to UK next summer he doesn't really want to go. He has his friends and familiar routines here but seems to be coming round to how things are going to have to be. Can't say I'm looking forward to the reality either though.

However I think it may be easier having one of school age, especially if he can start school soon after the move. That will give you something to focus on and a source of company and local info, at least in the short term. You have obviously made up your minds that this is a move worth making, even if you are not ecstatic about it. Try to focus on the positives and above all, try not to project your concerns onto the children, they may yet be more accepting than you think.

Good luck

Liz, the fact that there is a steam railway at the end of the garden has sold it to Ds1+2. I'm not to worried about them as I know that they will adapt, even if it does take awhile.

Rather selfishly, it's me who I'm thinking about. All the friends I've made since moving here to live with DH, one in particular, are amazing. I'm god mother to her (the 'particular one') DD and she would be godmother to mine (if I pulled my finger out and got them christened) I love her to bits and it was horrible telling her this morning that he'd got the job.

i realise that i'm being selfish but I am absolutley gutted.

Thanks for your reply BTW.

Going through the same thing Emma, not quite so bad as we've only been living here for 18 months but DD and I have a great life....Nevertheless, we're off again.

i'm not sure from the thread exactly where you are moving to but I have lots of family in that area. The forest is much less insular than it used to be and there seems to be a fair bit of sure-start money sloshing around. cheltenham is fantastic and there's lots of stuff to do with kids in the glos/Herefordshire area.

Your DSs will get a lovely accent...but I'll skip on the offensive jokes about Foresters..

maria, Dh and i often chuckle at the thought the boys getting accents. Ds3 will definatley get one I expect as he's so young.

The house we ant is in Lydney. Do you know it at all?

sorry about bad grammer there.

Well doen to DH, emma.

Just think, no more Woolies or Roots convenience store. No more 'too small, not enough stock' Sainsburys.

Will you really miss Wallington itself???

BTW, used to by LadyP, just in case you were wondering...

Sure do, it's got good rail connections (direct to gloucester, Cardiff, cheltenham) and defo not as deeply Forest as Coleford etc. The town looked quite tidy the last time I was there (nearly a year now, thogh) and the park was still good. Think the cow cake factory has closed so you'll be spared the smell!

I lived there for a while when much younger.

poshpaws, that was freaky......I thought I had my first internet stalker I never did get back to you about the nursery, did I? Sorry about that. Did you use it in the end?

Maria......what on earth is a cowcake? is it something only a local would know about. An initiation test......make a cow cake and you're in?

No probs. Yes, DS is on his second day there - seems to like it, so fingers crossed.

Anyway, if you go, I hope you find a better playground than the one at Mellows Park - total cr*p

Ohhh, I glad it's going ok with the nursery.

As for mellows park, well, what can i say. I even hate walking the dog there. But a few week ago there were 2 people from the council there all day asking parents what they thought of the park and what could improve it. You never know, there might be something worth while there just as we're packing up to leave.

Btw, I live a stone's throw from the park. Isn't it wierd talking about it like this.

Emmatmg, you'll be fine, honest! No time but may come back later.

I've just read my original post on Part 1.

I really have changed my mind, haven't I?

Every opportunity they get Ds1+2 talk about the new house, new bedroom etc etc.
I'm so glad that they are excited about it as it makes it easy for me knowing that we'll be turning their little lives upside down.

I think I said something along the lines of "I know I can do it but can I do it to the children?"

I think that should be " I know the children can do it but can I?"

Oh....I know I can and I know we will. I just wish i didn't feel so sad.

I think that I'm just going to have to pretend it's not happening, which I know is ridiculous.
I am gutted to be leaving this house, my friends, everything.
I saw my neighbour this morning and told her Dh got the job. That was all I could say as I started blubbering.

I think, apart from on here, I'll try not to talk about it in RL. I'll just get on with it and make sure the kids stay excited and looking forward to the new house and our big adventure.

Not really sure why I'm typing all this, just need to sound off I suppose but if you're reading it then thanks for 'listening'.

Oh Emma, i really do know how you feel. I'm sick at the thought of moving again (although in my case is more related to DD and work than any grat mates I've got here). You will manage, just don't expect to find a new best friend in the first week! Could you do some online digging to see if there are any M&T groups listed online, the local rag (Forest Gazette) has lists of family activities.

Cow cake is just what it sounds like-cattle feed!

How far off is the move?

We're in Surrey now, so it's a good 180 miles and about a 3+ hour drive.

Will look at the gazette. I had thought about doing that and for schools etc but I think I'll leave it for a while. I'll just carry on 'pretending' for a while longer.

whatever suits you! It's helped me cme to terms with it by looking for jobs etc. We all cope in our own way!

I know my pretending is ridiculous and you are soooo right with doing the research now.

I think I just need to get over it. It's going to happen. I can't stop it happening. I wouldn't try to stop it happening because it's not for me that we're doing it.

I need someone to say "Pull your self together woman and stop moaning about such a good opportunity for you and your family!"

Still though.

OK, I'll do it:
"Pull your self together woman and stop moaning about such a good opportunity for you and your family!"

Have a wonderful move and great new life!