It's amazing what some people think is acceptable behaviour..........

[Earlybird]

We are new to town, and dd is just completing the first term at her new school. There are several other children/families that are also new, and dd is beginning to be friends with one of those girls.

I arranged a playdate with this girl (our first) for yesterday after school. When arrangements were being made, I said to the other Mum that I'd give her daughter supper, and said if she wanted, to come over a bit earlier than the agreed pick-up time and have a bite to eat with us (and bring her ds too). I thought it might give us a chance to get to know one another - especially as we're both new to town/school. So far, so good.........

The Mum called halfway through the playdate to check on things, and to ask if I could drive her dd home after the girls had eaten (no mention of my casual invitation to eat with us). I was surprised, but agreed as I assumed she must have a good reason for asking.

We got to their house, and I walked dd's pal to the door. The nanny/babysitter answered, and invited us in. DD and her friend scurried off somewhere, while I stood awkwardly in the sitting room watching the nanny feed the younger child. I kept expecting the other Mum to walk in, and say hello........until the nanny told me that the other Mum wasn't at home as she and her dh had gone out to a restaurant! I felt more than a bit peeved, and a mug.

I will see this woman today at a school event. How would you play it?

maybe i've just forgotton to read the rule book

I was being tongue in cheek really -- I don't think there are playdate 'sins' as such, short of allowing the kids to watch 18-rated videos.

I only realised after dd2's visit to this family how much there is a standard format for these things, ie. you expect to pick up your own child, fed and pleasingly tired, at 6pm ish. Having to drag her home and start making supper was just wrong somehow. And I was just v. amused that this other mother had clearly realised her omission and fallen into line.

I would be mildly pissed off if someone phoned up midway through the afternoon and asked me to drop her child off though, unless she had some compelling reason or I was going to be driving past her front door anyway.

Chubby we of course would refer to a

Dunderheid. Sounds wonderful said in a broad Scottish accent.

fimbo - esp if preceded by 'glaikit'

Message withdrawn

yes frogs - well remembered - we've recently relocated to the US, and I am learning that standard playdate 'format' here is different. And you're absolutely right - Mums don't seem to feed their playdate guests supper here.

Personally - I don't see why she couldn't have sent the nanny to collect her dd, rather than asking me to drop off. But there must have been a reason.

Thanks for the thoughts/feedback. Think I am over-sensitive as am new here, and don't have normal take-it-in-my-stride perspective in place yet.

Must dash now as it's school run time.

Message withdrawn

None of this would bother me in the slightest.

Am I just odd?

odd as a two bob note, flame, but not about this!

I have been 'guilty' in the past of being out, while children had various arrangements, and therefore had to ask whoever the LOs are with to drop them back to a babysitter, rather than us - I hope the other Mums havent felt bad - seems perfectly sensible to me.

You're probably right

(all the best people are though, imo)

I can't see what all the fuss is about, i wouldn't be bothered