Am I being selfish?

[KristinsMum]

Is it too much to ask to want at least 1 hour a day to oneself? I look after DC's all day every day and after 5 years as a full time mum I am beginning to find it very mundane.

I really love my kids but I feel DH takes advantage big time. He works long hours which I sympathise with BUT does no household chores, however he is good with entertaining the kids (but only when it suits him).

I am so knackered every night but I am finding it hard to sleep at night. I feel everything is a struggle and effort. I am feeling very resentful towards DH & would love to leave him if I were in a postion to do so. Not sure where I should be posting this? Feeling so down.

Not being selfish at all. Frankly you deserve time off at the weekend , you're working long hours too. Have you spoken to dh about it? No point in simmering in silence, he may assume it's all fine.

Thanks tribpot. I sometimes dread the day ahead as soon as the alarm clock goes off. I know I have a busy day running around after my 2 yo.

I have mentioned how I feel to DH but he just tells me I have got it easy compared to most .

I assume your dh has done 5 years as a SAHD and thus speaks with authority when he says you have it easy compared to most?

It sounds like he's suffering from "working outside the home is harder than working inside the home" syndrome and needs a reality check. The standard Mumsnet prescription is you taking yourself off for the day one weekend and leaving him to it. This tends to do the trick.

Does he get in after the dcs are in bed? In which case, not a great deal to be done during the week, but surely at the weekends it's turn and turn about, the only fair way? I speak as a WOHM whose dh is chronically ill but still does a good chunk of childcare in the week. I tend to give him a lie in (ha - till 8 a.m. when he has to take his first set of pills) rather than me, but we take turns.

Would you be happier thinking about returning to part-time work maybe?

I agree with tribpot, you do need a regular break. I'm also a SAHM and it is very draining. My dh didn't realise how hard it was and how much I had to do until I went away for a weekend (and then he only looked after ds, no washing or cleaning!). After that, he always did the bedtime hour so I could chill out for a little bit.

Why not try suggesting to your dh that he looks after your dcs one day at the weekend? They'll love that time with him as well, especially if he's home once they go to bed.

I also recently started a course so that I've got something else to focus on with the added bonus that I get a career at the end of it! Perhaps doing an evening class or going swimming or something might help?

Sorry that's so long, well done if you got to the end of it