Court and child custody

[Helenaali]

Hi everyone,
I was hoping to get some advice from someone who's been to court/ been taken to court relating to child custody.
I've been a single parent for over 2.5 years now and my ex now has contacted family mediation to mutally agree on visitation rights to see the kids - 4.5 year old and 2 year old boys.
We had the first meeting (via a zoom call) and agreed on the visits. He has now cancelled family mediation completely.
I am unsure why but now I suspect he wants to go court as he has tried family mediation but it did not work for him.
(Before going to court it is reccomended that family mediation is done first).

I guess I just want to know what i should expect from others going through this.
Would you recommend getting legal representation or doing it yourself?
I'm currently on Universal Credit so can't really afford much, unless I take out a loan.
Can I get my own representative?
What's the usual outcome?
I live in Manchester and ex is in London. The kids have hardly seen their father and don't really know him so for them to stay over would be difficult. Obviously, later when they get to know him it should be ok.

Thanks for reading
Helena

Hello, sorry you've had no replies so far, you've posted this on a not very high traffic board so it may be missed. If you report your own post to MN they could move it to legal matters or relationships you'll find lots of posters who've been through similar.

My own advice would be yes to getting proper legal advice if you possibly can, even if you can't afford to have a barrister represent you, some preparatory advice to help you understand the process and prepare your case will be invaluable. As to likely outcomes obviously it depends but unless there are really serious, criminal type concerns about the safety of the boys to be with him, it's likely he'll get some contact ordered but I doubt it will go from 0 to overnights without preparatory steps of some kind first, usual course of action if there's been no contact at all for a prolonged period would be to start with indirect contact (exchange of cards and photos etc to help the children understand who he is in an he appropriate way), then phone calls or video calls, then short visits ideally with you there (or another trusted adult if you can't), building up to him having them alone for gradually longer and longer periods, until overnights and eventually things like taking them away on holiday. Him not engaging in mediation won't help his case too much though, especially if you can show you've been reasonable and offered him a reasonable contact plan without the need for court...