how do you start doing Christmas when you've always gone to your mum's??

[ernest]

That's about it really. We've always gone to mine or dh's mum's for Christmas. This is my first year of having to 'do' Christmas for my little family (3 boys 5, 4 & 1). Don't really know what to do.

eg Christmas dinner. On one hand want them to have fond memories of the day/season, and for me that does include special food but on the other dunno if I can be arsed making pudding a month b4hand, when only me & dh will eat some, plus all those hours cooking proper Christmas dinner, when boys have v. small appetites. ( but don't want them looking back & thinking, mum only roasted a chicken with a bit of boiled rice!)

Don't know when to do pressies/ what to do with ourselves (previously stayed with tv adduict families & sat around boozing & atching tv all day) but this isn't our scene really, but dunno what to do to make the day special.

Dh gets stir crazy if he sits around house. Starting to dread being the grown up in charge for the 1st time.

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not got young children so may not be the best person to advise.
Amyway, Christmas dinner can be easy if you do things like buy just a turkey crown instead of a whole turkey. Ready made stuffings can be just slammed in the oven. Christmas puds are all over the place and only need to be microwaved.
In terms of what to do on the day, how about a nice Christmas day breakfas6t to start off? That can be champagne for mum and dad and a specail (favourite) drink for the children and perhaps something nice to eat - bacon and eggs?
When dinner is cooking, we always go out for a walk. It's wonderful, especially if it's cold. Do you have a park near you? Walk to the park, have a play and return home to lovely dinner?
Will the children not be entertained by their presents?
If TV is not your thing, just chill and listen to some Nat King Cole christmas music?
Sorry, my Christmas is not exciting but I love it!

since having dd two years ago we've always sent xmas at home .

Presents are opened as soon as we get up.
Nice breakfst bucks fizz etc
xmas dinner at 1.00pm (buy a turkey crown and do all the veg pots etc - no xmas pud as we don't like it but do something else0
then veg in front of t.v all day.
Do a little buffet for the three of us for tea

pretty boring but lovely quite day really.

Your dinner doesn't have to take hours to do. If you get a turkey breast, rolled and stuffed, and then just do the veg. as normal it shouldn't tkae any longer than a Sunday dinner. If you feel you HAVE to have a Christmas pud, buy a nice small one from Marks or wherever, and give the children their favorite dessert.

On Christmas morning we let the children open their Santa presents when they get up. After dinner they open family presents. That way they don't get overwhelmed by too much stuff all at once.

My friend and her family do a bit of hill walking while the turkey cooks, but thats a bit strenuous for us. Maybe you lot could go for a nice walk after breakfast to break up the day.

We also play board games a lot over Christmas, and would normally buy a new game, so we might do that after dinner if we aren't too exhausted.
Personally, I like to just veg out in front of the TV once the dinner is cooked, eaten and cleared away, but we often have people to visit or have people visit us.

We (me, Dh and DD) always have Christmas Day with just the three of us. Tends to be based aroudnd our own experiences of Christmas.

We get up when Dd gets up. She's only 2.5yo so this is the first year she actually understands. Dh gets as excited as a child though too Probably get up around 7:30-8am.

DH goes in to living area to see if Father Christmas has been (and to make me a cup of tea ) . Then we will go in and let DD open her pressies. If anything like last year (and like her birthday) this will take all day though, as she opens one and plays with it for ages, before going back. Dh nd me open our pressies now too. Then we phone our parent sup, and let DD thank them for helping FC choose some good toys.

Next is breakfast - more of a floor poicnic, with DD playing still - something nice but not flashy, like croissants or scrambled eggs or bacon butties. Me and Dh have champagne too.

Morning is to be spent just playing and fin ishing opening presents.

We have dinner arounf 12:30-1pm I guess. Normally this is a lot of pre-prepared things from somewhere like M&S. It's only one day a year, and although I love cooking I don' t like missing out on playing with DD. So most of the veggies are preprepared ones. DH will have a fillet steak, and I will have fish. Not sure this year for DD - she's not keen on either and would prefer something like sausages (!) or chicken leg. Again dessert will be shop bought but still yummy. If we fancy starters I will get a tub of Covent Garden soup in and drissle some fresh cream on top of it.

If we were all having meat I would be doing something like a roast chicken - night before you can prepare it. I tend to do it Jamie Oliver style - stuff under skins with parma ham (or streaky bacon), fresh herbs and butter. Roast it, and then for last 40 minutes or so, through some of the preprepared (bought from supermarket) roasting veg underneath to cook in the chicken juices. Have some frozen Yorkshire puds read, and some other veggies steaming away - again all prepared as who wants to be spending time peeling and chopping if they can get away with it?

Afternoon is spent playing agaain and maybe watching a film too.

We don't tend to eat much Christmas Tea having eaten loads at lunch. Maybe just nice bread and sald, and a bit of cooked meat.

DD is then off to bed, whilst me and Dh finish the wine and chocolates

All very relaxing really. But we like it that way. And good o relax as we have both sets of parents, and brothers/sisters over on Boxing Day - there's 15 of us this year!

Xmas dinner is only the same as makign a roast really, the only extra effort is things like pigs in blankets, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, crimbo pudding and branday sauce etc but I must fess up that we buy all of that I'd certainly buy the Xmas Pud, you can get a really nice small one afor the two of you or you could get a chocolate pudding if the kids would like that better?

We usually open a few pressies in the morning and let the kids eat their selection boxes for breakfast, the kids play with their new things whilst we get dinner ready, have dinner, watch a DVD and then go out for a walk before having turkey sarnies with stuffing and mayo and left over roasters for tea.

The kids will have special memories if you are not stressed, they get to eat loads of choccies and they get a few nice new things to play with ;-)

I buy a lot of the stuff for Christmas dinner too. Usually go for turkey breast roast from M&S (these are great and don't take too long to cook....also they come in a foil dish so you don't have a big roasting tim to wash up), and I also buy the gravy and stuffing but I do the veg myself (and would try to prepare these the night before). Buy the pudding too.

We open presents throughout the day, trying to eke it out! Usually try to get out to a favourite playgroud in the morning, just to get a bit of fresh air and work up an appetite for dinner.

This year I've bought a `decorate your own shortbread' kit from M&S so we have an activity which will hopefully keep ds amused in the afternoon. The shortbreads are all Christmassy (e.g. Christmas trees). We hardly watch any TV, just spend the day lazing around and playing.

Whereas our Christmas is devoted to Delia and my sisters. I buy and prepare the turkey. My sisters do a ham and lamb. We throw together salad and veg (middle sister does brussels -yuk!). Brother in law brings a salmon. We divide the alcohol list between us.

Our day goes as follows: the kids wake up - anything from 7.30am (they all sleep in one bedroom so as not to confuse the man in red). We listen as they "discover" that FC has left them stockings. We hear lots of laughter and then footsteps. When they go into the lounge they see the Christmas tree and all the presents (put there by us the night before). We go in and all open prezzies. Not as restrained or as good as the rest of you. We open as many as we want to. But then my three sisters arrive with even more prezzies later. I make smoked salmon and scrambled eggs and pop open a bottle of champers. The kids eat chocolate. The turkey goes in the oven and we phone everyone we can think of and sing badly down the telphone at them. We can't ring my mum until the kids have gone to bed because she lives in Jamaica. The family arrive about 1pm whereupon madness ensues. The kids and their cousins eat more chocolate and junk. We serve up lunch. Drink too much and then the bossy sister(because there has to be one and no it's not me) will clear away. The fellas will wash up and then we'll divide the remaining food into tubs so that we all have lots of lovely leftovers. They all leave about midnight and we fall into bed. We go to friends for leftovers lunch on Boxing Day and take the kids to run around the woods. We do the same thing every year. The kids love it, we love it and so it will remain.

yoour days all sound really nice & warm. i can't help but still have ever-rising panic. Nothing is open on Christmas day or boxing day & I just can't see dh sitting lazing round the house withouse murdering us all. Honestly dunno why he bought a house as he seems to hate being in it. I guess the dinner I can just about cope with - I guess I wanted to make a pud for 1st time as this was my 1st grown up Christmas, but I can cope with buying one!. It's the thought of being in/around house for 2 whole days with grumpy dh.

I remember waking up at like 4 am on Christmas morning. i think I'll murder my kids if they do... Does anyone else's? Any tips for avoiding?

And lastly - advent starts soon doesn't it? I've got an advent calendar & a wreath, but how does it work with the nativity scene (friend bought me one last year, so never used it & never had one before - do you put in a person/animal at a time, every day/Sunday?) sorry, we didn't really do much as kids, and as adult just sat round mil's getting pissed & grumpy with each other, so sort of starting from scratch & would like it to be 'nice'

Hi Ernest! Won't you dh be content with getting out of the house by just going for a walk - ti the woods or the park as others have suggested. Or you could walk to your local church and show the kids the nativity scene? Perhaps they might do a carol service on Christmas Day specially for kids? If your dh really wants to spend the whole day out of the house how about having Xmas Dinner in a restaurant and then you can sit back and someone else will do all the cooking

P.S. Often the sales start on Boxing Day these days if you can cope with the crush! Or shows/musicals are on on Boxing Day - when I was younger my dad always taook us kids and my gran to the pantomine to give mum a break. And Boxing Day morning we went to watch the hunt set off as I was obsessed with horses but I guess that's not very pc!!

This will be our first Xmas with DD we've always had Xmas just DP and me but I tend to make an effort.

We get up open presents and I make a cooked breakfast. We usually go for a little drive or walk to get us out the house. I make soup for starter the day before. Love the M&S turkey crown I would never faff around with a whole bird cooking it for 4 days before. No mess nothing. Do all the trimmings as well. We don't like pud so I usually buy profiteroles or something for afters (too useless to make them).

Don't stress over dinner, M&S do great prepared stuff, don't see the difference between them and peeling carrots yourself to be honest.

Blimey...........

Are we the only MNetters family going to church ?? Does any one else point out to their children that apart from FC it is also Baby Jesus's birthday and I know this site is multi-cultural and that is only right....but surely some of the children must be going to church schools ??? Ok, let it roll ......I know that I will probably be jumped on from a great height for this....and no I am not overtly religous or a God botherer for that matter.

no Gym junkie, I go to church, try to take mine with me, but not easy as
a. there's 3 of them
b. they're mad
c. baby still naps, usually at church time
d. hubby not church goer

go every Sunday, with any combination of kids except all 3 which I don't manage.

Will no doubt go to Church Christmas morning, while dh keeps eye on dinner, but one church service for me won't keep dh from getting fed up with being hoousebound for 2 days.

I go most every Sunday, except for yesterday, when I offerd up the five hours I spent trying to travel two miles on the M25, on Saturday not pleasant. Anyway back to your DH, how about when you get back from church, your DH takes 5 and 4 to the park, on a treasure hunt just for an hour or so, you pick out a tree or a hiding place and he puts a small bar of chocolate each there when they are not looking, and then takes them around in a big circle until they get back to where they started and they have a hot hot cold cold search for the chocloate. If I think of anything else I will come back to you.

we're church goers too gymjunkie. kids in church school etc. we'll go to the christingle service and on Christmas morning whilst the turkey cooks. my dh normally spends christmas day putting prezzies together, cursing playmobil and fiddling with whatever gadget I've bought him. He tries to avoid my bossy sister and him and the other fellas play with their boy toys.

ernest
why not ask your dh what he would like to do? If he's going to be miserable going along with the traditional stuff that you might plan, could you find out what would make him happier and build on that? I have a really grumpy husband too, and it makes a big difference if we can get him on board.

When my three were as small as yours are, and I was sad being at home on Christmas Eve with grumpy husband and all my jolly family far away, I used to cook the turkey to eat on Christmas Eve evening so the house smelt wonderful Christmassy all Christmas Eve - had carols playing all day, kids 'helping'. Then on Christmas Day life is much easier if you have a version of what the kids like - mine like baked potatoes - so we had baked potatoes, and cold turkey, and special salads for grown ups, and the Christmas pudding - all of which made present opening and church and all that much easier. Especially since I had to be the one to make sure that it all was reasonably jolly - less pressure, more pleasure. So make it easy for you, reasonably pleasant for him and as much fun as possible for the kids.

We also made sure that nobody opened all the presents in a frenzy - you have to start them young on this for it to work. We tried to stagger them through the day. Start off with a stocking to open in bed - does your dh object to being woken up early? If so, move yourself into the kids room, and let the morning start as late as possible. Does he have a fixed routine, not human before 10 cups of coffee? Let him have them.

I wish they weren't grumpy, but boy, mine is. However, the kids accept it as a fact of life, still love him, he still loves them, and we all look forward to Christmas. He has even managed to bring himself to decorate the tree in the last 2 years (it was more fun when we did it without him bossing us about, but at least he's joining in ...)

Hi Ernest
What we do to make Christmas/Yule special with dss and now with dd (9mnths) is

1. The weekend dss is with us before Christmas we go for a long walk and get in the ivy and holly which we spray with some gold and silver paint (trying not to let dss go OTT with the paint). He loves this.
2. Buy one or two special decorations for the tree/walls. I dont like too many tacky decs so we are building up a collection of nice ones so when we get them out we go through a routine of "oh look remember we bought that one in such and such a place/year etc". Dont spend vast amounts on them tho (dont have vast amounts to spend).
3. Have Champers on Christmas morning and smoked salmon cos dss loves it (salmon that is) while opening pressies.
4. Have stockings with lots of small things in. Sweeties etc. not more than about £5 worth all in all.
5. We are having guinea fowl this year cos its nicer than turkey (and smaller) and dp is doing honey roast ham. We prep veggies the night before too. I like to have a pudding too but I either buy or get mammy to make it for me.
6. We try to go for a walk after dinner if capable of moving. We quite often do Christmas and Yule as have dss on the weekend before Christmas so celebrate Yule (I have pagan leanings) then and Christmas on the 25th. Will be doing it all two weekends in a row this year.

tarantual - I just remembered - we had guinea fowl one year & dh's nan asked us what we'd had & she was horrified cos she thought we'd had guinea pig

You are all so great with your good ideas. i have tried asking dh but he just mutters coldly it's the middle of November. We have this every weekend. he wants PLANS. He wants organisation. he wants to be out of the house. He wants schedule. He wants to know exactly what we're doing & when. Unfortunately he has no ideas, wants me to the the afoementioned planning & is Incapable of doing it himself. Yesterday, as a trial run, I did what I'm sure lots of people would suggest, don't plan anything, leave it to him, let him decide for a change. omg - it was the worst family day I can remember. We had massive bust up - in front of kids & spent the whole day griping at each other. He was still in bad mood at bedtime & left for work without even saying goodbye this am

So, don't really want Christmas to be like this, with the additional burden of him complaining about the amount of pressies our kids will get (made worse by the fact that 2 of them also have b'days v. close to Christmas) & he'sll be moaning about them getting too much, wanting to set fire to it all in the garden etc etc etc.....

Someoen invite me over for Christmas & let me leave them to it. please

(he's alright otherwise, just one of his little foibles)

Ernest
how long is he at home for over Christmas?

If he really makes a fuss about the number of presents, maybe you could feed the presents in over the 12 days of Christmas? When presumably he will be back at work and is not so likely to notice? Or maybe put some aside till the half term? (If you have to do thank you letters or calls, maybe you could sneak a look and thank the giver on the kids behalf). I remember this with dh - he objected especially because my side of the family was much bigger and more generous than his, so he claimed that he felt swamped. And they do play better with less, or with it spread out a bit.

Its a pig having a grumpy husband, isn't it? I don't think they grow out of it either ...

whats 'a turkey crown'?

that's a good idea, copper, i might do that. it does get obscene. They're the onlt grandkids on both sides, and don't see family often, so get hideously spoiled. with Christmas falling at w/e it's only a couple of days, thank goodness, but a couple of days is a long time when there's no where to go & staying in the house for more than 2 hours gives him the heeby geebies. maybe in a past life he spent a long time in prison or something?

Wild - breast but no legs. Cooks much quicker (but IMO is still dry and tasteless)

Oh, OK, thanks a lot
Prefer leg, me!

up at normal time - c.7.
Open stockings - lots of little presents including sweets, a new book, a video (bought secondhand!), a few little toys to keep 'em going.
Nice breakfast - croissants or bacon and egss, with bucks fizz.
Church.
Lunch - fairly trad but all bought - sausages wrapped in bacon can be bought ready done, none of it is much hassle. The main thing is the crackers! Don't like xmas pud so get a ready made choc yule log instead.
open remaining presents, and play with them.
Tea, bed, wine for adults with a board game.
Boxing day - walk on beach or similar.

Ernest
I think your chikldren are probably young enough for you to develop your own family traditions that play to your husbands strengths - he loves to be active! For quite a few years I imagine you're going to be the one who has them over the Christmas school holidays, so speading the presents would make it fun for them - could even make a daily treasure hunt if you felt up to it. Whereas Christmas Day and Boxing Day could be a stocking, church, something special outside that you would all enjoy, presents from you and each other, and an evening meal. Do you have somewhere that's good for a really interesting walk?

It takes a lot of doing to break the mould, but who says it has to be what everyone else does?