don't quite know the answer...

[cantstopworrying]

have changed my name for this but just wanted to explain something to someone as it's on my mind all the time..

Have recently started a new job which although isn't brilliantly paid fits in with thw children, is 10 mins walk from our house and I can have weeks off if I can't get childcare over school hols, no questions asked...I thought although it's not ideal I save £50 a month in petrol because I walk (a job might pay £2 an hour more in the town but with thw hassle of finding childcare) and I am getting jobs done and feel less stressed than last job..

slight problem is other half who almost on a daily basis is saying get a proper job (btw I finished my last job partly because he kept on and on at me that I think my keeness diminished and since left)...as we have a few debts and need a house....thing is I know I could get a job on maybe £7.50 an hour but there are many things like childcare which can be a real problem..

don't leap out of bed in the mornings like I used to with old job as is not very exciting...I can't leave before Christmas as it's the busiest time of year and I'll get extra hours too! just fed up with the "get a proper job(had for 2 years before thistoo)....sorry for rant but have to get this off my chest as is really bothering me and dh too..

Have you calculated the cost, not only of petrol, but also of car depreciation, parking, childcare costs if you need to work over the holidays, etc? Also consider the implications of having less time at home as another job would mean a longer commute. Also, this job may be less exciting, but it is also (presumably) less stressful. It is a complicated equation, not just a simple question of a better paid job equals more money.

CSW - I see your problem. I turned down a job that I know I would have enjoyed because of childcare and general hassle issues only last month (admittedly the pay was lower than my current job though so no moaning from dh!)

IMO your dh is being a git. If it was me, I'd promise to get a "proper" job as soon as he takes charge of the childcare.

Absolutely agree with Senora, CSW.

Tell DH he can be responsible for the childcare, and once he's sorted that out, you'll look for a proper job.

Not sure I've grasped what the problem is here, csw... sorry. I guess I'm not clear what you want from work- are you ok with it being fairly dull because it's convenient or would you prefer to find something more enjoyable? Likewise I can't work out if you agree with your dh or just want him to shut up on this one!

thanks..ScrummyMummy I just want dh to stop his daily "get a proper job with a pension" as it's really getting me down and making me feel like am not doing enough cos I only earn £400 a month (after tax)

so I take it having half term off, with no hassles from boss is worht its weight in gold sts (wait till I tell my dh).

thought so- just checking. I think he's being dead unreasonable too and would find that upsetting. How would he respond if you told him you'd do it if he takes over childcare?

he thinks they should go to a childminder from 8am and then I collect them at 5pm (they're not small for ever)..

how does he think that will benefit them?

cos i'll earn more money

But how will you earning more money be of benefit to their emotional, social and psychological development?

I think if you don't like the idea of a childminder from 8-5, you need to get him to justify it in terms which puts the needs of your children first.

thsnks I'll discuss it with him tonight