Please please give me advice, please!

[smurfgirl]

I used to self harm and stopped about 18 months before starting my nursing degree.

I have been having a very rough time for these past few weeks. I spent yesterday and today with a CPN who works as part of the addictions team I am on placement with.

Finding it increasingly hard etc.

Anyway, was walking somewhere with him and for some, unknown, stupid stupid reason decided to blurt out that I had been thinking a lot about slitting my wrists (which I have and won't do but thats by the by).

He obviously sent me home and has contacted my mental health worker.

How will this affect me uni wise I am absoultely cacking myself. Two sides -

• how will telling someone ON PLACEMENT that I want to self harm affect me?
• how will self harming affect me in terms uni and my training (not how it will affect me mentally I mean how will it affect my position on the course).

To contextualise it I am 3rd year, I get very good marks, my placement reports have all been fantastic, never done anything like this on placement before. I have been extremely stable even in other times of stress - friend dying, nana very poorly, house buying etc

Any advice would be most welcome - I am so stupid.

I feel really lost at the mo, I am just starting treatment (again), I am self harming and I have not been able to tell my fiance.

Don't know what to advise SG but bumping it for you

Thanks.

I'm so sorry SG . I too am in my 3rd year nursing degree.

I'm not sure you did the best thing, and I really hope it doesnt make things difficult for you.
In a perfect world the college would get you the help you need and support you and you might be lucky enough to get this. I really hope you do.
You were very brave to tell someone about how you were feeling.
Can you talk to your personal tutor, or student rep, or student counsellor (we have fab counsellors at our Uni) who will be able to advise you and represent you should you need it.

Anyone else?

Thanks mosschops, I do have proper, specialised support so thas not an issue.

Anyone? Please?

Oh sweetheart

Please, please talk to DP. I am really tied up with work and the renovations at the moment, or else I would suggest coffee/chat. Can make it when the kids break up if that is any good for you?

You are strong, you've come through this before and I know you will again, but please don't keep it from J. He could/should be your biggest support.

xx

Thanks SG.

Can't face telling J.

I can't offer advice but you know where I am if you need someone to talk to x

Hi, are you training to be a psych or a general nurse? That's probably relevant. I trained as a mental health nurse in the nineties and had to admit to an eating disorder, necessitating outpatient psychiatric support but it didn't affect my training in the slightest. It's right that your placement supervisor was concerned about you. It would be a bit odd if a CPN did NOT act on the info you gave him. Try to be upfront and show your course supervisors you are dealing with your problems and getting help. Great nurses are often the ones who've faced their own demons and are thus sympathetic to their patients. Addictions/self-harm etc are much harder to pursue in the cold light of day when people who care about you know about them and want to help you. They thrive in secret. Trust me - I had a serious eating disorder for 17 years and it only got better when it came out into the open.

Thanks SG - I hope your house is going ok, still lots of caravans around

Janni, I am training to be an adult nurse, cpn was lovely but explained that he had to act on the info because obviously I am capable of harming myself as have done in the past and obviously wrists are dangerous and if placemet is triggering me its bad.

Felt massively out of my depth with band 7 CPN - i have no mental health nursing experience.

My gut feeling is that your training is going to be just fine, as long as you are able to reassure your suprtvisors that you're on top of your problems and are getting the necessary support. The fact that you have such a good track record on your course will stand you in good stead.

Thanks so much.

I am just concerned that uni will think I am messed up and unprofessional and I am soooo not.

Just struggeling at the moment.

Thanks sally

I feel like that a lot too - you can't tell anyone you are stressed because then you look bad. You hit the nail on the head with the CPN bit too. This has been an incredibly difficult placement for me - I was maybe rather naive going into it, but there we go.

We WILL be nurses on that register next year ! I am hoping to work in slightly less emotionally intense recovery! x

If anyone is interested I have been suspended from placement due to my mental health issues. Hoping to complete the placement in January.

Hugely traumatic day.

So will you talk to J now? Please sweetheart, you need to let him know what is going on now.

Thinking of you x

Hes out.

I tried to ring you today actually have u changed your mob? You coming to the christmas night out?

No, still same number. Will message you on FB with it so you can check you have it right.

Yes to night out.

Hopefully not sally cos we are on holiday soon.

I have to be seen by occupatonal health though and go to uni a lot.

Bit gutted.