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Mother and sister in-law

3 replies

Anna727 · 30/10/2021 13:45

Hello everyone,
I'm very frustrated and annoyed because of my mother and sister in law. They are not nice at all and I don't know how to handle everything, I tried to ignore it at some point, but too much is too much. Long story short, my partner and I are living in UK, but his family is in Spain. Even the fact that they are that far away doesn't stop them from doing what they best can do,is talking bad about me all the time. Couple years ago we moved to Spain for a year just to see if we could create a beautiful life over there. But it didn't work and we decided to come back to UK. My mother ir law and sister in law got mental (no father in the family) that how their son/brother can leave them!! The thing is that I didn't like Spain and I wanted to leave.. so they were blaming me for stealing their family member from them..and then it all started, it's already 3 years thet we live here and I never really did anything to them.. but they criticize everything about me..they hate everything about me. I'm very open and real person, but in their culture you have to be "fake" (at least in their family) or you won't be liked.. I was really trying to fix everything and I even agreed with two of them to start everything from the begging and I really meant it. But not them.. now we have much less time for everything, my partner is working, studying plus we have a newborn.. so he is not calling them every day as they want ..so they are so sure that he doesn't love them anymore, that he is unhappy and stuff like this. Which is completely not true and he said it to them. But they don't believe it and every time they have a fight I am in the center of attention. Its my fault about everything!!! Absolutely everything.. this is sick and the love they have for him is sick as well. He can not even spend some time with my family, because they are getting jealous and they talk bad about my family now as well...we are even scared to travel somewhere because if he is using his holidays to go somewhere else than to visit them-its a massive argument. It's really painful every time they are arguing listen so many bad things about me that is not even true.. and they gossip to all the family , I heard lots of things about me and it's so unfair because I really love my partner but this thing with his family.. on top of that they actually pretend they like me and then they don't fight they send me messages with hearts and even saying how much they love me?! I was really holding everything to avoid a massive fight but now listening to them saying that I'm not good mother and putting their nose into our relationship I feel like I need to do something.. but what?

OP posts:
Tiaptia85 · 30/12/2021 00:59

I hear your pain 💔

Anordinarymum · 30/12/2021 01:08

You need to stop speaking to them. You need to block them from sending messages to you directly, and get on with your life.

It is your husband's problem and not yours. No matter what you do or say it will never be good enough so why even try and more so why worry?

Ozanj · 30/12/2021 01:15

Are they Spanish or British expats? Either way you both need to stop being so upfront / honest with them / living your life publically on social media because they shouldn’t be in a position to know what you’re doing in the UK. You need to remember that Spain, while it is in Europe, is nowhere near as wealthy of a country as the UK is, and so a lot of the criticism probably does come out of a place of jealousy - particularly if your DP isn’t supporting them or their children out either. In any case - you need to stay out of the arguments / debates. They are targetting you because you’re easy - you aren’t related, I presume you are a different religion, background, and if you aren’t married to your DP they probably do expect the relationship to fail and for him to return home at some point - the reminders of your bad parenting are probably so they can say ‘I told you so’ in this situation.

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